The Reason - A Song Fic

InuYasha sat against a tall tree at the edge of their campsite. They had settled in quite some time ago, but as always, he sat wide awake, keeping watch for anything that might stir up trouble. However, that was not the only reason he was there, so far from the others. Normally, he would have stayed close to Kagome, close enough to protect her from anything that might try to harm her. But, this night was different. There was no breeze, no noise at all, except for the faint, familiar sound of shinidamachuu flying by. He had noticed them as the others set up camp the night before. Now it was nearly morning and he had been weighing whether or not he should follow them to their master, whether or not he should follow them to Kikyo.

It was maybe an hour or so before sunrise, still dark, when he finally decided that he would go, but return back before the others noticed his absence. He stood up and smelled the air, searching for the scent of Kikyo mingling with the breathless air. A shinidamachuu quickly flew by, and he followed after, making sure his footfalls were light and would not disturb his sleeping companions. Swiftly he raced through the woods, avoiding fallen timbers and rocks along the dark path as he followed the glowing snake-like creature.

There, in a small clearing with only a log laying across it, was Kikyo sitting against it, gently holding her hand out to her soul collection minion as it brought a fresh soul to keep her sham clay body alive. She turned her head slightly to look at him. Her eyes were like black voids in the remaining darkness. That look almost frightened him. He moved closer to her as she stood to face him, her arms falling limply at her sides as she locked gazes with him.

"I knew you would come, sooner or later, InuYasha." she said in a soft and gentle voice that he hadn't heard from her since the time when she was still a living breathing being. "You always come back to me. All I have to do is wait, and let my shinidamachuu lead you, of course."

"I shouldn't be here." he said quickly, feeling awkward and uncomfortable as she moved closer to him and took one of his clawed hands in her own. It was like ice against the warmth of his own hands. "It was a mistake to come here at such a time, when the others will be awake any time now."

"Are you saying that you have no desire to be here with me?" she said, an almost hurt sound in her voice. "Are you saying that you would rather return to those foolish humans who don't understand you like I do; to that silly girl who is only a shoddy reincarnation of the one you see before you?"

InuYasha didn't know how to answer her. His heart was pulling his thoughts in so many directions that it was hard to discern one from another. Suddenly, the undead miko set her hands on his chest and rested her head against in between them. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her shoulders and set his head against hers, sighing lightly. He was so confused. He just wished he could have time to give her answer to her pondering, but he knew she expected a response soon.

"InuYasha, you come to me like this, knowing full well that I am nothing more than an undead clay being, when there is a living, breathing girl not far from her who loves you as much as you claim to love me. Why?" Kikyo asked him, her voice still soft, still gentle. He lightly bit his lip. Why was she so inquisitive at this moment? When before had she taken the time to question him on things like this? Kikyo looked up at him with an intense, hawk-like gaze that practically demanded he answer her.

"I, I don't know." he said, stammering like a fool. He balled a hand into a tight fist that made his claws dig into the tender flesh of his palm. Then, he relaxed it again and slowly brought it up to caress her porcelain cheek. That was exactly what it felt like too. It was cold, and slightly stiff, like the clay pots he had once hidden behind as a child to escape the stones of cruel village people. It reminded him of what she truly was, merely a clay shell made from the remnants of her former body and fueled by the souls of the dead.

"Tell me that you love me, InuYasha. Tell me of your affections. Say it is so." Kikyo demanded, though the lightness of her voice made it sound more like a question. InuYasha opened his voice to answer, but found he had no words to say. He couldn't honestly tell her that he loved her, and for the first time he was surprised. As he delved into the depths of his mind to find something to say to her, he felt her cold lips against his own. His golden eyes locked onto hers, and like before, they were devoid of all emotion and life. He squeezed her arms and gave her a light push as she backed away. He was awestruck by how forward she had been. It was all too strange.

That was when he smelled it. The salty smell of tears. He looked at Kikyo, thinking it might be her, but realized that she could not cry even if she tried her hardest. No, these were the tears of a living being. He tried to turn his head towards the smell, but Kikyo embraced him with a strong hug and he could barely make out the small smirk across her face as she did. That was when he realized he had been set up.

In an instant he heard a rustling from behind him as Kikyo jumped back in feigned surprise. He turned to see Kagome standing there, the tears now falling free from her pretty eyes. His jaw dropped ever so slightly as the sight of her wrenched at his heart. He could tell from her expression that her own heart had just shattered at what she had witnessed. He heard her choke out a sob that she didn't want to let out before she bolted past him whispering quietly "Osuwari."

The word made him fall to the ground on his back with a painful thump, but that it was a whisper didn't make it as intense as he was sure she would have wanted it to be. She probably couldn't muster the voice to do so. As he got up again and went to follow her and explain everything, he felt Kikyo take his hand again. His head shot in her direction, a bitter look on his face as she smiled faintly. He pulled it away from her and scowled, before asking simply, "Why?"

"She was a burden to us." Kikyo began, "Now, she will have seen who it is that is truly yours. She will return to her time, where she belongs, and leave us to be together, as it should be. You should be glad; she wasn't just a burden to our being together, but also to the search for the shikon-no-kakera. You should be thanking me, InuYasha."

"Thanking you?" he spat coldly. "You wretch. How dare you use me in your twisted schemes. To think that I could have loved you. I realize now that I loved the person you were, the person you can no longer be, not so long as Kagome still lives. She is everything you used to be, you are only bitterness."

"While she lives?" Kikyo said, her voice monotonous and dead, like he had been used to hearing. The gentleness also feigned like everything else that she had done that early morning. "She is a mortal ningen, a human whose existence in this world is so short compared to that of a youkai or the undead like myself. She will die eventually, sooner or later. I, myself, believe it to be the former. Did you not see the pain on her face? Foolish girl. Run InuYasha, run and catch her, before you lose the chance to do so again."

InuYasha growled and shoved the miko lightly out of his way as he ran as fast as he could, following the path Kagome had taken and hoping that his demon-like speed would help him get to her before she got to far. He, also, realized what Kikyo's plot had been all along. I see it all now. Kagome's heart is so fragile. Even more so now. She has seen Kikyo and I together far to often and I fear that this last time may have crushed her forever. Kikyo wanted to push Kagome over the edge. Kikyo wanted to get the rest of her former soul back, even if it cost the life of an innocent. That innocent happens to be Kagome. How can someone who had once been so good and so pure now be so lacking in both? I have to find Kagome, before it's too late.

As he made to the campsite he came to a halt as his three other companions sat around a pitiful fire, looks of concern and anger on their face. When the heard him enter, they all looked up, but only Miroku dared to stand and approach the hanyou. InuYasha was sure he would be reprimanded like a child by the three, but now was not the time for such things. "Where is Kagome?"

"How should we know?" Sango said bitterly, jabbing the fire with a stick she clenched tight in her fist. "We never got an answer from her, she wasn't her long enough. She took all of her things and left. So why don't you tell me, what did you do to her this time?"

"I can't explain that now, Sango. I have to know, where did she go?" he practically pleaded, which surprised them all. Sango dropped her stick into the fire, wasting more of the precious time InuYasha had left to get to her before something terrible happened.

She turned to him and crossed her arms, as well as raising an eyebrow at him. "Where does she always go?"

"The well." he whispered as he took off again at lightening speed, taking a shortcut through the forest in order to catch up for the time his friends had wasted with their questions. However, she was not there when he arrived, much to his dismay. Her scent still lingered there, her fresh scent. The scent of her tears. Without hesitation he jumped down into the well as he passed through time. When he finally reached the other side, he could smell her scent even stronger than he had before. She wasn't far away, and that alone gave him the hope that he would reach her in time.

However, something clattered at his feet, which he picked up and examined as he jumped out of the well. It was Kagome's shikon-no-kakera. She must have cast them into the well once she returned, and I brought them back to this time when I came through the well. He tucked the small bottle into his hakama as he made his way out of the well house, getting closer and closer to her. He followed her scent into the small storeroom of the shrine where she had once told him that her grandfather kept antiques, like the noh mask they had encountered early on in their adventures. He could hear her speaking from inside. It was faint, and sounded like prayers.

"Kami-sama, may my soul be forgiven for the actions I shall soon take. Let me take flight to the eternal glory of your protection. Let all those that I have pained feel relief and joy with my passing. Let my act of hara-kiri free me from the suffering I feel." she spoke in a hushed voice. He panicked as he fumbled with the door knob, trying to get it open in time to save her. Her plan of suicide would fail, he would see to it. He would never forgive himself if she died and it was his fault.

Finally the door opened as Kagome unsheathed an old samurai sword and set the tip gently near her navel. However, the sound of his entrance made her turn in surprise and drop the weapon as her eyes went wide with surprise. She stood and backed away a few steps as she began to cry once more. He went to her and took her in his arms. She said nothing, but slammed her fists into his chests a few times before finally relaxing and burying her head in the cloth of his hakama to muffle her tears.

"Kagome, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I went to her, when I know that the love she has for me is false. I'm sorry that I was such a fool." he told her, clutching her close to him as his voice broke with his words. "I'm sorry that I made you hurt, that I made you cry, that I made you want to end such a beautiful life as yours. I've been so stupid. I should have said so many things before now, but I couldn't. You changed me and made me a better person. You love me for who I am now, not who I could be through the power of the Shikon no Tama. I took that for granted. I wish I could take it all back. Take back all the times I have ever done anything that has made you anything but happy."

She lifted her head slightly and he wiped the tears from her eyes. Those eyes, unlike Kikyo's held a warm flicker of life, the light that was Kagome's soul. Kagome smiled vaguely and hugged him tight. He returned the hug and held her, not wanting to let her go. "Only you have accepted who I am, not even Kikyo had done that. She is no longer what's important to me. I can't hide it any longer. You are the important one, you are what makes my life so wonderful. Nothing else is as important as you, not Kikyo, not Naraku, not even the Shikon no Tama. Just you."

"Oh, InuYasha." she said in a whisper, grasping tight to his hakama as if he would disappear if she were to let him go. "I love you so much and it nearly killed me that you didn't feel the same. I only wanted to be by you, I wanted you so badly that I would have given everything up if I couldn't have you."

"I know that I'm not perfect, not in the least. I've done such idiotic things in the past that I wish I hadn't done. You are the reason for everything that I've become. You were my reason to start anew, to start to be something so much better than what I was." he told her, lifting her chin with his hand. "And if you'll have me, I'll be there."

"Yes, I'll have you!" she said as one of her genuine, beautiful smiles spread across her tear-stained face. He smiled to and leaned down to place a tender kiss on her lips. He realized he was right when he said that Kagome was everything that Kikyo was not. Kagome's lips were warm, her cheeks full of life. Everything about her screamed perfection. She was all the things that InuYasha never thought he could have, but he had her there in his arms.

"I love you, Kagome." he said as their kiss ended.

"I love you, too, InuYasha. I always have." she told him, smiling again as she stood on her toes to kiss him again.