Note: This is an AU that begins in the "one day" that Radditzu gave Goku to pile up 100 dead bodies. Goku is OOC because this a dark humor/adventure AU.

Please excuse the Manga quoting early on.

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ

"Diversion: a DBZ AU"

Chapter I: Grave Robber

Goku watched in horror as his son was taken from him by his older brother. He felt both their ki go far away, faster than he could keep up with them. Buruma, Roshi and Kuririn comforted Goku.

"G-Gohaaaaaaaaaan!"

The Saiya-jin from Earth slammed his fists to the ground "YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" he slumped over and wept "y-you…can't…do...this…"

His friends came over to comfort him, but he continued his madness "KINTOUN! COME TO ME!"

Roshi slapped Goku to knock sense into him "Wait! Don't go running off half-cocked!"

Buruma also stayed him "You can't! You'll be killed!"

"You're in no condition to fight, Goku." said Kuririn

"But I have to do something!" cried Goku

"How awful…" said Buruma,, sympathizing with Goku "Finding your family after all this time…only to find out it's something like him!"

"I still…I don't care who he is…"

Kuririn lowered his head "He even beat you Goku….and that makes me…"

Goku's brain was struck by lightning "His tail! If I can crush it, his power will drop!"

"Great idea" said Kuririn "But the problem is getting a hold of it."

"I can't" lamented Goku "Not alone"

Roshi stuttered "ah yes, I'll sure help!"

"And me too! If we um…all fight together…" said Kuririn, while he thought "We're all gonna die…" then he had another thought "Hey Buruma, you can just wish us back with the Dragonballs"

Buruma smote her chest "Leave it to me!"

"No, Kuririn she can't!" said Goku "I found out the Shenlong only can revive a person once…You and Kame Sennin have already been wished back. This time, if anything happens, death means death."

Kuririn gloomed "Death means death huh? I'll never get a girlfriend at this rate…"

Suddenly, Piccolo arrived to the shock of everyone. "You haven't a chance."

"What are you doing here?" asked Goku

"I want…HIM…"

Buruma and Kuririn scampered away in fear

"So…you two know each other…figures…" said Goku

"He and I have met…and you three have not a prayer against him…place your hope in me or place them not at all!"

Everyone was speechless. Piccolo continued. "Know you well that his strength surpasses that of you or I…alone we find ourselves equally outmatched,…together, however, our powers may prove just strong enough!"

Goku smirked "May be…but I have something better in mind!"

"What?" Piccolo was shocked at Goku's attitude

"We're gonna give him what he wants."

Piccolo gasped and choked "100 dead humans? You want me to help kill-"

"Goku, are you out of your mind?" cried Buruma

"yeah, why did you change your-"

"I didn't" said Goku smirking "Buruma, do you still have access to info on the city morgues?"

"um...yes…? Why?"

"Just call the one in a time zone where it's night…and ask them about recent acquisitions!"

"All right…" Buruma lifted her cell phone "Hello, city morgue, this is Buruma Briefs. I want to know if your recently received any acquisitions? A cult? Suffocation? 200? Thank you." she hung up "A cult just committed suicide and were put into the morgue. About 200 of them."

"Great! Piccolo, Kuririn, I'm gonna have to ask you to fly with me."

"What is your scheme, Son Goku?" asked Piccolo

"I need dead bodies. Fresh ones." said Goku

"Wagga!" cried Buruma "Goku! You don't mean!"

"Yep!" Goku flew off. Piccolo and Kuririn reluctantly followed

****

…2 hours later, in a nighttime time zone…

Kuririn almost vomited as he loaded another fresh, warm dead body onto the pallet rack. "Goku…this is undoubtedly the most despicable…"

"What?" Goku Son Stared

"Son Goku, Even I would never rob a morgue." said Piccolo as he dumped three more in the pile "I kinda like your style, Goku"

"Well, I want to save my son." said Goku as he dumped his four

"But what if Radditzu finds out about this?" asked Kuririn

"These guys are gonna cover it all up; I give em, twenty years before it becomes public" said Goku; he counted the pile "Twenty five! That makes five piles; 125!" he used a Hoi Poi capsule to store the bodies "Five capsules. All right, let's get going!"

Piccolo tried not to vomit as he thought of what would come next….

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What do you think? Am I not sick? Please review! No flames though. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Next time: Goku's Plan, to be posted at the same time as this