Wumbs Anatomy
- Patrick Star needs to save the life of a little boy and girl who have not received their first grade education on Wumbo.
Characters
Spongebob Squarepants (cameo)
Patrick Star
Sea Spiders
Ryan
Jessica
Ted Fishkins
Mrs. Puff (cameo)
Gary The Snail (voice only)
The story begins at Patrick's rock. Patrick is getting beaten to a pulp by a colony of sea spiders.
PATRICK: Please leave me alone! YOU EVIL SEA SPIDERS!
The sea spiders get angry and all form into one huge sea spider. They show their venom.
PATRICK: AAAAAHHHHH!
Patrick runs out of his rock and makes it across the street.
PATRICK: Note to self! Call Sea Spider Help Hotline! Before it's too late! Or are they called Terminex?
Patrick then walks along a road already forgetting just now when suddenly hearing some noises. He notices a lethargic looking little boy and girl being dragged by their worrying father.
FATHER: I should've taught them wumbo! I should've taught them wumbo!
They enter their house.
PATRICK: Wumbo? Hmmm, wumbo!
Spongebob opens his window.
SPONGEBOB: Wumbo indeed! Right Gary?
GARY(voice only): Meow
Patrick walks up the house and rings the doorbell. The father answers.
FATHER: Who are you?
PATRICK: I've heard that you're children have a shortage on wumbo.
FATHER: Uh yeah, how'd you know that.
PATRICK: I have my ways, and I can help! I am a wizard thingy or whatever.
FATHER: No thanks, we don't need nutjobs making anything worse right now.
PATRICK: I'm not a nutjob! My cousin from Singapore's a nutjob! Now, back to the question at hand! Are the children in first grade?
FATHER: I am not inclined to tell a stranger this.
PATRICK: Are they?!
FATHER: Third grade you buffoon. And they're different gender twins!
Patrick grabs him by the shirt.
PATRICK: You madman! KIDS ARE SUPPOSED TO LEARN WUMBO IN FIRST GRADE!
The father releases himself.
FATHER: If you don't leave this property in one second! I am calling the cops!
The little boy overhears the argument.
BOY: Need…. wumbo.
FATHER: Ryan! Oh man errgh! Fine! Fine Starfish! What can you do for Ryan & Jessica? My name's Ted Fishkins by the way.
PATRICK: Well Ted, get me a projector! And make sure there is an ice cream cone to go with it!
Ted, perplexed, does so. The scene cuts to Patrick showing the sickly kids his presentation called, "Wumbology."
PATRICK: Wumbology, the study of wumbo, most have all heard about this in first grade! But when a lousy father!
Ted boils with anger in the background.
PATRICK: Prevents his children from receiving this necessary education! Problems occur! So I, Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick, a proud master of the Wumbo, shall teach these little tykes the essential gift of life that is the Wumbo. Man I love being a teacher!
Mrs. Puff peacefully walks down a street by herself when suddenly getting a sixth sense of Patrick being a teacher.
MRS. PUFF: Oh Dear Neptune.
Patrick gets to his first slide.
PATRICK: Wumbcabulary time! These following words are to be memorized! Ahem! "Wumbs, Wumbotastic, Wumbiary, Wumbtatoes, Wummies, Wumbi, Wumbt, Wumbatucks, Wumrink & Wumbums!" Now, did your kids learn the art of Wumbcabulary?
TED: Jessica?
JESSICA: I only got Wumbiary & Wumbums.
Jessica weakly coughs but is getting there.
RYAN: Same.
Ryan also coughs.
Patrick then gets out a platter of food.
PATRICK: Time for the hands on! Here Miss, eat this!
Patrick hands Jessica a spoonful of Wumb Flakes, a nutritious breakfast meal of only the true Wumbos. Jess eats it all. She gets a little better but still needs some work.
JESSICA: Wumbo is the aspect of Wumbology.
PATRICK: There we go! Now you're getting it!
Patrick now needs Ryan for the clothes test.
PATRICK: Okay Ryan! Pick whichever clothing is the style of a Wumbtastic Pupil!
Ryan picks a yellow shirt, blue pants & a green collar.
PATRICK: Try again!
Ryan picks a pink scarf, red underwear & a light blue sweater.
PATRICK: Getting there!
Ryan gets frustrated.
RYAN: I can't do it!
PATRICK: Check your clothing.
Ryan notices he is wearing a red shirt, yellow pants & brown socks, the common wear of a Wumbtastic Pupil. Ryan bursts with energy. Ted smiles now seeing his kids returning to how they were before.
PATRICK: Now! This is the Wumbo of all Wumbos! Final lesson! Extravawumbgazas! What is Wumbo?
TED: I don't know! I didn't take wumbo as a class!
PATRICK: Kids?
RYAN: I got it! I got it!
JESSICA: I do too!
RYAN & JESSICA: Wumbology!
PATRICK: YAY! YOU HAVE LEARNED WUMBOLOGY, THE STUDY OF WUMBO! WELCOME BACK TO FIRST GRADE!
KIDS: YAY!
TED: Thank you sir! Now get lost!
Ted kicks Patrick out of his house. Patrick gets up and scoffs.
PATRICK: Pfft, I wonder what Dumbi did to his wumbo.
