A/N: Hiya all. This little oneshot is meant to be FUNNY, 'kay? I'm just poking fun at—well, you'll see.
Not my best work but I hope you'll still enjoy it. :D
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I'm not sitting on a crescent moon holding a fishing pole.
Imposter
Hiccup was having a lousy day.
He decided to take a walk in the woods just so he could be alone. With his new popularity, he never had any time for drawing, or exploring, or inventing, or even flying. And he couldn't fly today even if he wanted to, because Toothless was… well, he didn't want to think about that. Needless to say, Toothless wasn't accompanying him as he usually did, and Hiccup had started to feel rather lonely, which was stupid because he had come to the forest for solitude in the first place.
He began to think that he would even be happy to have the twins playing a prank on him, rather than just be wandering all alone feeling lousy. Although perhaps that wasn't the smartest thing to wish for, he reflected. He kicked at a stone lying on the forest floor, only to have it hold firm in the ground.
"Yowch!" he hollered, hopping around, holding his flesh-and-blood foot as he tried to balance on his prosthetic. Unfortunately, he managed to trip over a rut in the ground and fall flat on his face.
Groaning in frustration, he pushed himself off the ground and looked at the rut that had been the cause of his pain.
Only it wasn't a rut—it was a footprint. More of a "claw-print", really. In fact, it looked like one of Toothless' footprints, only that couldn't be, because Toothless was… ugh. He did not want to think about that.
He moved on to the next print. The marks seemed to be getting smaller as they led towards the centre of the forest. He followed them, his curiosity getting the better of him, as usual. The first few looked like Toothless', but the farther he followed them, the more they shrank and changed until he could swear they looked more like human boot prints than dragon prints.
Finally, the tracks ended. Hiccup crouched down to study the last print when he heard the rustle of foliage behind him.
He whirled, as best as he could, with only one leg and all. But there didn't seem to be anyone there. His eyes darted about nervously as he heard a twig snap, then another, and then another. It sounded as though someone were walking towards him.
"Just a squirrel, just a squirrel, just a squirrel," he told himself under his breath, even though he knew it was highly improbable that a squirrel would make that much noise.
Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw a black shadow duck behind a tree.
"Who's there?" he called out, trying to hide the tremor in his voice. He'd never realized how hard it was to be brave when you didn't have a fire-breathing dragon beside you.
There was another rustle.
"I have a, er, weapon, and I'm not afraid to use it!" he said, snatching up a stick from the ground.
Another crackle, and then:
"Relax, bro, it's only me," a strangely familiar voice said.
A boy approached through the trees. He looked like your typical Viking, except for the absence of a horned helmet on his head. Hiccup wasn't sure what to make of him. As the boy got closer, Hiccup could see he had black hair and grayish eyes. He had a muscular torso, and a black vest was all that covered it. The rest of his clothes were gray, and his skin had a strangely grayish tinge to it.
Hiccup was pretty sure he had never seen this guy before in his life, but for some reason he seemed familiar in some way.
"Er, hi?" Hiccup tried, dropping the stick embarrassedly. The boy stood only an arm's length away from Hiccup.
"Yo, Hiccup. I know this must be really awkward for you, but you know, I'm actually Toothless, your dragon."
"You're—what?" Hiccup faltered, staring at the boy.
"Ah, I knew you wouldn't understand." The boy seemed strangely at ease. "I'm Toothless, okay? You know, the Night Fury? Your best friend? Well, that's me."
"B-but Toothless is… I mean, he's—"
"A dragon?" the boy interrupted. "I know. I was. But Loki turned me human, trying to play a trick on you or something."
"Oookay? But, er, Toothless, are you feeling okay?" Hiccup asked, feeling a little dizzy himself.
"'Course I'm fine. Never been better. Why'd you ask?" the boy asked. Hiccup responded with a groan. "No reason," he managed, starting to feel rather sick. He was having trouble remembering why he asked that question anyway.
"Woah, man. You look like you need to sit down. Here." The black-haired boy draped Hiccup's arm over his shoulder and started walking back towards the village, talking all the while.
"There's so many things I've always wanted to tell you, Hiccup. I can't believe I'm finally getting the chance to like, talk. First off, I'm sick of Icelandic cod for breakfast. Salmon would be good."
"But you love Icelandic cod," Hiccup choked out, frowning, although he wasn't sure whether it was because of his confusion at 'Toothless'' statement or because of the horrible way his stomach was feeling.
"Well, I… it gets old," 'Toothless' said. "And you know, you should really get a…"
Hiccup stopped paying attention for awhile. His stomach felt like it was doing flip-flops, and he was a little confused, to say the least. Could Toothless really be human? It seemed unlikely, but… he was feeling too dizzy to think properly right now.
"… and you know, I think Snotlout is a much nicer person than you give him credit for," 'Toothless' carried on, pulling him into the village.
"I don't… feel so well," Hiccup mumbled.
"Of course it's all a shock," 'Toothless' said patronizingly, letting him sit down in the village square. "Hey look, there's Astrid! Why don't you introduce me?" 'Toothless' asked.
"What?" Hiccup asked, trying to concentrate on not emptying the contents of his stomach all over the village square.
Astrid ran up to the two boys.
"Hiccup!" she called worriedly. "Are you all right?"
"Perfectly… fine," he groaned, looking exactly the opposite.
She frowned in concern. "And who is this?" she asked, gesturing to the black-haired boy.
When Hiccup made no move to reply, 'Toothless' said in a trying-to-be-suave voice.
"I'm Toothless, turned human. But the real question is, where have you been all my life, baby?" he asked, giving her a grin.
Hiccup was feeling absolutely wretched, but at those words, his head shot up.
This boy claimed to be Toothless, but Hiccup knew without a doubt that his best friend would never make a move on the girl he liked. And then there were all the other things that didn't add up. This boy claimed to dislike Icelandic cod, but Hiccup knew that Toothless loved it. And this boy claimed to be feeling fine, but Hiccup knew that the last time he'd seen the real dragon Toothless was down at the docks, the dragon puking his guts out because of the bad fish he'd accidentally eaten that morning. Although Hiccup was beginning to wonder if it had been bad fish, or just the flu that he himself had now caught. He swallowed hard to keep the contents of his stomach where they belonged.
And besides, Hiccup knew that the boy beside him was not Toothless because dragons simply don't turn human in the first place. He'd been a fool to fall for the trick, but he'd been too focused on how sick he was feeling to see reason. But now he did, and there was only one person on Berk who had black hair, a crush on Astrid, and a mean enough personality to prank someone.
"Snotlout!" Hiccup exclaimed angrily. "You were just trying to trick me. You're not Toothless!"
"Come on!" Snotlout complained, wiping the soot he had used to make his skin gray off his face, and pushing his hair back into its normal position. "How'd you know? I even scratched out a bunch of foot prints to make it more authentic. And I thought I did pretty good as a dragon, if I do say so myse—OW! Astrid! What was that for?"
"That," said an extremely annoyed Astrid, "Was for lying to my boyfriend, and THAT—" She punched him in the face. "Was for trying to flirt with me."
Hiccup sighed, wanting to run off to the docks and puke his guts out. But he didn't feel like standing up would be a good idea.
A young man ran up to the three of them.
"Hey Hiccup," he said, running a hand through his tousled black hair as his grayish green eyes flickered with embarrassment. "I know this is really awkward, but, you know, I'm really—"
"Woah, no way! On the same day I pretend to be human Toothless, Toothless really does turn human! How ironic is that, right?" Snotlout exclaimed, looking excitedly at the three people around him. Suddenly he visibly deflated as he noticed the confused looks on all the others faces. "Uh, never mind."
"Uh, Snotlout, this is Bjorn, from the docks—definitely NOT Toothless," Hiccup said through clenched teeth, swallowing back his bile.
"Er, yeah, about that, Hiccup. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry about the bad fish I gave Toothless this morning," he said, looking at his feet. "I don't know what was wrong with them, but I felt really bad, and I just…" he trailed off embarrassedly.
"Don't… worry about it… Bjorn. It wasn't… your fault. Just… the flu, and now… I think… I've got it… too," he choked out before lurching to his feet and running towards the docks to empty the contents of his stomach. They watched him go—Astrid looking concerned, Snotlout looking amused and Bjorn with a confused expression on his face.
Bjorn broke the awkward silence between the three of them. "So, Snotlout, what's this thing about a human Toothless?"
Snotlout's expression turned to one of disconcertion as Astrid gave him a death glare.
"Uh, about that," he coughed. "You don't wanna know."
Hiccup sighed, sitting at the edge of the docks with his hand on Toothless' neck. After a couple hours, his nausea had decreased, although neither he nor the dragon beside him were interested in eating- or flying, for that matter. When Hiccup felt well enough to talk, he told Toothless about the morning's crazy events.
"So, you know, bud, even though you being human would be cool and all, I'm glad you're still a dragon," Hiccup finished, scratching the scaly beast behind the ears.
Toothless looked up at him and chortled, as if to say, Me too.
THE END
Yeah, so this story is basically meant to poke fun at all those fics where Toothless turns human. Hopefully no one who writes or enjoys reading those stories is offended because of this.
Oh yeah, and hopefully no one was grossed out at the puking thing.
And I know they would probably recognize Snotlout, but hopefully this wasn't TOO unbelievable.
It's supposed to be funny, but IDK if anyone actually like, laughed, cuz I'm not the best at humor. But ANYWAYS, please review and tell me what you think!
