(Disclaimer: all credit J.K. Rowling)

Voldemort's Secret Love

Nagini slithered across my skin leaving that scaly, moist feeling all over my body, just the way I like it. "Bellatrix, did you find them yet?"

"Um, no my Lord. We did have them but…"

"Stop you disgust me! Leave now or I will make sure you lose all of your fingers." I said with authority, when really I was about to cream myself. I was thinking about all the disgusting and sickening things that the boy and his friends could do. They could kill all my followers, and then torture me until I beg for mercy! I will not be so disgraced! But, there is a bigger problem on my mind. I'm in love with one of my follower's wife, and I can't do anything about it. If I made a move on her more of my followers would disappear giving that scar head, ginger, and mudblood an upper hand. I think, and think about any possible solution to my burning love for the beautifully crafted Narcissa Malfoy, while I send Nagini to eat her lunch, a perished deatheater, killed by the one and only Harry Potter. I wonder how I will destroy this 17-year-old who always seems to outsmart me, even with my years of experience. I watch Nagini swallow the whole man, and I giggle at the memory of buying a condom that was too small for my "friend" when I was making loving to a girl back in ora training. What was her name? Maybe it was Lia or Lily? Yeah I think I knocked her up, but she had a boyfriend so I left her before the baby was born. Darn my bad luck with condoms. Maybe I should find my baby's mama before I die. But I would never want a family, because when I was little daddy would always hurt mommy. One day I got fed up with him and threatened him with my powerful stick of wood. He flew out the door as fast as he possibly could. Well, I need to stop thinking about the past and think about the future. With this big war going on and the death rate rising I need to worry about the things I still want to do in my life. I decide to take a walk down the corridors of the Malfoy Manner when I came across the room of Narcissa. I crack the door and see the body of Narcissa with only a g-string on. I feel my Scooby-Doo underoos bunching as my "friend" awakens from a deep slumber. I feel a warm feeling in my stomach. This is sick, although I do like the feeling. I don't know what this is, but I like it very much, and I should do it more often. This scene of this almost naked goddess makes me happy inside, and it reminds me of the old days in ora training when we would ditch training and go to the local strip joint. I see Narcissa moving closer to the bed, so I open the door a little more, and I see that disgrace of a man, Lucious. I leave upset, and grab Bellatrix. I throw her up against the wall. "I need either the gingie, or the mudblood, now!"

"Yes my Lord!" I figure that the faster I win this final battle, then the faster I can get rid of Lucious, and claim this beautiful lover as mine. I need to get hold of Harry's friends, because he will do anything to protect them, giving me the upper hand in this battle. Ouch, what is that terrible pain in my forehead! A deatheater smashes through the window, and lands in front of me. Potter and his gang are reporting for duty once again.

"RUN!"