Authors Note: Hey, everyone. MC from the future. These chapters are prewritten, Spades and I decided to just try and get as many chapters done beforehand so we can keep some kind of update consistency. School has been killer on both of us. English and Criminal Justice classes don't play around. In all honesty we don't have much free time between classes, homework and work, so having these chapters prewritten will help us not go dead for months at a time.

We have to discontinue Tossing the Moons Daughter into the Sun. Not by choice, but because of the way this site is set up, at the moment we have no way to copy & paste the chapters in their original format for us to add in stupid bitter commentary. We might revive it if we can. We might not.

Without further ado, please enjoy. Or not. It doesn't matter.


Subpar Smush Broas Mishan Forum God 2: The REEL Sekwel! LAUREN U R DUM

Oh, man, I almost forgot just how God Awful the spelling was.

Lauren has become the enemy from this point on too. Well, Sara's enemy, that makes her our favorite and who we will be rooting for through the rest of this shit fest.

Wasn't she already out of the closet in the Attack on Titan story? It's been so long, I don't remember. I also don't care.

I finelly got my passwerd bak from Lauren and I goten my acont agen and channed the paswerd

Is it racist, homophobic, bible thumping or involves Justin Beiber?

2 wat it was b4 so Lauren cant do meen lesban stuf in my acont liek wat she did 2 my Atak on Titen storey.

If you changed the password to what it was before, the one Lauren already knew, then… wow… the stupidity of that is mindblowing.

I'm hoping Lauren hijacks this story.

This storey is the reel sekwel 2 my furst storey the otter sekwal didant hapen.

So it was an Alternate Universe. You know. I don't think I ever read the 'Fake Sequel'. I don't think I will, this one will be more than enough for brain melting.

Im writan this becuz the nude Smash Bro gaem will be hear in oktaver.

Hehe, the 'Nude Smash Bros'. Are you sure you're old enough to play that, it sounds a bit mature, and not to mention going against your morals. What with playing as naked men and women.

Thes is the firt chaptar of my storey.

What, it's the first? I could have sworn this was the fifteenth chapter.

Oregonally i wuz guna hav Mart be the on who cums in my scole buthan I didant finesh writen this yestarday and than a noo caractor was putin the gaem today.

What?

I'm trying, but I just can't make headsor tails of what she's saying here.

I think its a sine frum God to maek him my bofrend in thes storey.

…No comment.

So there is a new character, and you think it's God's way of saying you should date him? Logic = Fail.

ALSO LAUREN U R DUM!

Lauren you're awesome!

Woot! Team Lauren!

AND I SAWED A PICTAR OF UR NEW GURLFREN ON THE INTRANET AND EVAN THOS SHES NOT FAT (LIEK I WAS HOPPING)

Do I sense a little jealousy from our homophobic 'hero'?

I'm pretty sure she's in the closet and has the hots for Lauren. I'd bet all my money on it. All my ten bucks.

SHE DOSE HAS A RELLY BIG NOES SO I THANK SHE MITE BE JEWASH!

What does that have to do with anything? Without Judaism your religion wouldn't even exist. Jesus was Jewish. So if you hate Jews then that means you also hate Jesus. So much for being a 'perfect Christian'.

Honestly, I'm just happy Lauren is happy and has a new girlfriend, she deserves someone who loves her.

I CAN SEE WY UR STIL USEN EVUL MAJAK 2 PUT LESBAN THOTS IN MY HED AND TRY TO TURD ME IN2 A LESBAN

Sorry, my friend, but there is no such thing as magic. You're 'lesbian thoughts' are from you and you only.

BECUZ IM SO MUK PRITTER THAN THE GURL UR DATEN NOW!

You're a Pokemon. You're the Sludge Pokemon. That explains so much.

Oh, please, Lauren is so much prettier than you. I've not seen either of your faces, but I can tell that already. Besides what matters is inner beauty, and, let me tell you. Sara you are fucking ugly on the inside. Like holy shit, it's like if a turd and another turd had a baby and that baby turd went and took a shit.

BUT IT WONT WERK IM STRATE!

Keep telling yourself that. Maybe, one day, it'll become true.

CHAP 1 SARAS NEW ADVENTUR

Alright, everyone. Time for one big collective groan.

I was siten in my meth class and my techar Mr Sandarsan was bein reely meen.

It's always the teacher she has to bag on first.

She's just mad cause she's an idiot and failing. Seriously, how did she even make it past grade school?

Liek jus 2day in reel lief aksed be a queston abot wy my handwritan on my homwerk is difrant frum on my furst quiz of the scole yer (wich startad thes weak) and also wy i do relly wel on homewurk but not on the quoz.

Because you're a little cheater-cheater.

I cant tel him that my parants do my homwork 4 me becuz Barak Obaba maed haven ur parrots do ur homewrok ilegal.

Okay, having your parents do your homework isn't illegal. It's just morally wrong. You don't learn anything from it that way, it also proves you're too dumb to be able to do your own homework.

My dad would give me a good swatting if I even tried to get someone else to do my schoolwork or any other kind of cheating.

Barak Obana prolly maed that law so id fale hi scule and hav 2 get a pore persan job and liv on welfar.

Um, no, you're going to fail anyways. If you fail your quizzes, tests and finals than it doesn't matter if you ace homework assignments.

You know, knowing how dumb Sara is sure is making me feel better about my D in American Literature last term.

I'm glad she's making you feel better.

But teh joaks on him becuz my parants r so ric that ican liv on inharatans 4evar and wil nevar be a lazey pore person

No. You're just going to be a lazy rich person. Which won't last long because guess what the first thing college teaches you; money dries up fast. You've got to pay for your home, you've bills to pay, food to pay for.

I really hate people who flaunt and brag about their money, thinking they're so much better than everyone else because they have money. I hope Sara finds out the harsh and cruel way that reality aint that nice.

evan if i dont graduat hi skool (wich i wil becuz im reely smart).

Then why do you have to have your parents to do your homework and are failing quizzes?

Trust me, she aint graduating.

Also Mr Sandarsan is blak so he prolly votad 2 Oboma

And the racism continues.

I'm already regretting this. I'm already regretting this.

Wait, wait. Hold on a second. He's Black. Then, going by how the first racist fic ended, what with sending America back to when slavery was legal and normal, than shouldn't he be a slave working on the plantation Sara claims to have?

Spades, Spades. Please, trying to apply logic to this will only hurt you.

But! It's inconsistent! It's not a proper sequel!

and wants 2 taek munny frum my famely adn otter hard-werking job craters 2 putin Obomacar so that pore pepole wil get helth car they dont deserv becuz they didant ern it.

Oh, like you earned any of the money you claim you'll get?
So aneyway Mr Sandarsan was bein meen 2 me by callen on me 2 anser a queston frum the homwork that my parants did 4 me.

How is that mean? That's being a teacher, that's teaching.

Butthan alof a sudan the dore to the clasrom opaned. I thot it mite be God lik last tim

I'm sorry but God realized what a bitch you are and decided he was getting the Heaven out of there because fuck your shit.

but it wasant. It was a britesh guy with blod hare who had a majek sord caled the Morondo. It was Sholk.

Shulk, why must it be Shulk!
"Sara u ned 2 blody cum with me!" he sed,

No, Shulk, you need to get out of there and fast. Forget about whatever mission you have. You're better than this.

"Lauren lerned the secrete way in2 hevan wen she wuz pretendin 2 be ur frend. And she tolled Satin

The best fabric. The evil fabric.

and Oboma and they concurred hevan and captared God and Jesas!

Not Jesas, Jesus' fourth cousin twice removed! Whatever shall we do?

Its impassible 4 God and Jesas to turd gay becuz they cant sin but if there captared than Satin rools hevan.

I'm not so sure about the Jesas part. I mean, I hear he was quite friendly with those twelve men he hung around.

U ned 2 cum

Please don't, I don't want to see that.

2 Nentindo wrold agen to fined ot how 2 saev them."

Hello, it's God. Omnipotent, omni-powerful, universe creating, live giving, ultimate being to exist. Do you really think he can't just get up and walk away if he wanted to?
"Ok" i sed and i gotted ot of my seet.
"SIT UR FYNE WITE A** DOWN SARA OR ILL BUSTA CAPE IN UR A**" sed Mr Sandarsan and he puled ot a gun and holded it on its sid ganestar stile.

Wow. Racist and stereotypical.

And you're surprised by this how?
"No u bloddy wont u wankar (I lerned that thats in insalt in the langage they speek in Briten

You mean English, as in the same language spoken in America.

so Sholk isant gonna cal me a wankar)" Sholk sed.
"UR KRAKEN A** BETAR GES AGEN!"

Kraken?! Where?!

Mr Sandarsan sed. He shat a ballet at Sholk

I think the question here is; did he throw a single ballet dancer, or an entire ballet recital?

but Sholk can c the futur and he dogged it.

I mean, it'd be easier to dodge than a bullet.

Can't imagine he's throwing them all that far either. He's throwing human beings, if he can throw them like a baseball than I'm impressed.
"AW HELL NAW!" Mr Sandarsan shat moar ballets

Whatever you do, please spare Swan Lake!

at Sholk butt Sholk dogged tham 2. Than we herd sirans and the polise came all over the room.

Finally some police! Arrest Sara, now, before she screws us all!
"YO F*** THE POLITE DOG!" Mr Sandarsan sed.
"Mr Sandarsan u hav a warant ot 4 ur arest 4 rappen wite womans and 4 sellin drug" the polaris chef sed.

There's a chef for the North Star?
"ULL NEVAR TAEK ME ALIV HOMELY!" Mr Sandarsan sed.
Mr Sandarsan gotted in2 a gunfite with the polise and they shat him ded. Than the polise laft the rome and the otter stoodants gotted ot boks 4 studey hal becuz we cant hav matt class if r matt teecher is ded.

I think there would be a bit more going on than that if you're teacher just got shot by the police. School would be cancelled, parents picking up the kids kind of thing.

As someone studying Criminal Justice, and, more importantly, someone with common sense, I can tell you that the police wouldn't just up and leave after shooting the teacher.

"Sara u ned 2 hurray" Sholk sed "God and Jesas stil ned 2 be saev!"

Yes, save Jesas. Jesus would save them, but he's on vacation right now.

Disney World is far more important than this, after all.
"rite" i sed "also ho did u no abot God and Jesas bean captar?"

The Bean Captor.
"Well im Britesh

I'm fairly certain that Britain probably doesn't exist in your universe.

and the Queen of Briten is teeming up with Harey Potar to try to maek Amerka in2 Britesh colons agen.

I'm fairly certain that Queen Elizabeth doesn't give a fuck about America being a colony. It's been a few hundred years, they've gotten over it.

Also Harey Potar tot Lauren the majek that shes usen 2 try 2 tune u in2 a lesban.

Lauren would have had to be a witch already before she could use magic.

Leave Harry Potter out of this, it's already been fucked six ways to Sunday by My Immortal!

Butt im a gud Britesh persan

Just because whats-his-name

Adam Howden

Just because Adam Howden is English doesn't mean Shulk is English. By that same logic you're applying than he's Japanese because the original voice actor is Japanese.

who wants 2 stap the Queen and Harey Potar and Satin and Obaka and Lauren" Sholk sed

I've already picked my side. I'm on the Queens Team.

Why does she think the Queen is evil?

"Im prolly gunna run 4 King of Briten in the nex elecshan

Oh, my God. You don't have elections for royalty! Sara how dumb can you be, haven't you seen Disney movies before? You're born into royalty, there's already a crown prince, already a next-in-line King.

Sara continues to be the dumbest person on this planet. I hate to say this, but, Enoby is a genius compared to her.

Someone dumber than Enoby Dementia Dark'ness Way. I never thought I'd see the day.

2 maek Briten a gud plase wer everone is Christen and we no that Amerka is betar than us.

What, going to make it illegal to be anything other than Christian?

I don't mean to insult anyone, but, Christianity isn't the single most perfect religion to exist. It's got flaws and it can be a piece of shit at times just like any other religion.

Also u can be my gurlfrend so that u can be Queen

SHE'S NOT EVEN BRITISH OR A LEGAL ENGLAND CITIZAN SHE CAN'T BE QUEEN!

Also there's the British Parliament. The monarchy's don't have all the power.

and also so everone will no ur not a lesban."

Isn't she still dating Cloud? Or was it Link? …Marth?

I just assumed she was dating all three of them at once. But, what's one more.
"Ok" I sed. So Me and Sholk wented back 2 teh Smahs Manshan 4 an advenitur. Wat wil hapen next? Fined ot next cahpter!

Is the Smash Mansion just a skip away from the school?

My brain already hurts. One chapter down, forty left to go.