This is pretty much self-indulgent. Enjoy!
Puns and lame references ahead.
-x-
After a short morning of work where all he did is send reports he completed the previous night, Barry walked into the STAR Labs cortex whistling some jaunty tune.
He was met with the sight of Cisco spinning around in the middle of the room on a office chair and drinking a slushie to the sound of what could be techno pop coming out of the speakers.
"Busy day?" Barry commented, leaning back on their communications and tracking systems table.
"Oh!" Cisco stuck out a foot and let it skid across the tile, slowing himself. "Hey, dude! Yeah, it's been a quiet morning. I've been working on a wind gun so we can have all the elements out there but so far it's just an oddly shaped fan. I don't think I can patent that." Cisco made to stand up, wobbled, and then promptly sat back down. "Yeah. It's over there," The long haired man gestured, "Next I'll make a plant gun but I'm not sure how well that'll work out."
Barry, looking amused, walked over to Cisco's regular work table. "Cisco... this is literally just a hair dryer." He said, looking back up at Cisco and laughing at his expense.
And of course-because when do they ever have an uneventful day?-the alarm went off. Cisco shuffled backwards on his chair to the monitors and rolled around it by holding onto the ledge of the table and leaning precariously. Barry just flashed over next to him.
"Looks like Captain Cold and Heatwave are hitting a condemned building."
"Why would they...?"
"Apparently some rich schmuck thought it would be a great place to store a couple pounds of diamonds." Cisco informed him, after bringing up a report on it.
"Greaaat." Barry rolled his eyes, "Because that makes a world of sense." Cisco shrugged, "Rich people are eccentric. Haven't you seen Oliver?" Barry couldn't help laughing at that one.
"Point. But don't tell him you said that. I'll go take care of this." He quickly grabbed his suit of the mannequin, changed, and was out of the cortex and to the condemned building in no time flat.
He looked left and looked right. Seeing nothing except for some people loitering around he shrugged and made his way through the doors with Cisco's okay though their comm links.
"Freeze." Flash said as he came upon Heatwave and Captain Cold gathering the rich's riches.
"Are you serious." Cold said, unimpressed and raising an eyebrow, "Like I've never heard that one before. You really could do better."
Barry tapped his foot on the ground and sucked on his teeth, "Wait a minute...are you... pun shaming me?" He asked Captain Cold incredulously. He heard Cisco snort in his ear.
"Your pun wasn't very cool. It was pretty repundant."
Heatwave grumbled under his breath and set his flamethrower in its holster. He glared at the scarlet clad speedster and tightened his grip on the burlap sack he and Cold had been packing.
"Wow you're really on fire, eh, Mick?" Len said, nudging Heatwave.
"Don't bring me into this." The bulky man rumbled.
"That's not ice."
"Shocking." Barry said, holding up one hand and letting a lightening bolt run down his arm and to his gloved fingertips before it was reabsorbed in his body.
"Don't encourage him!" Heatwave hissed.
"The atmosphere is pretty charged." Captain Cold answered.
Flash shot a sultry smile to the parka wearing rogue, "I'm getting chills. Speaking of, just hand me your chill gotten goods and we'll get on like a blizzard."
"I'm filing a law suit, my ears are being assaulted." Mick didn't even blink and the Flash was holding up a salt shaker. Len snorted while Barry gave a shit eating grin.
"Just fucking marry each other. I want a change in occupation. I've made up my mind, I'm going to culinary school." Heatwave threw his hands up, took the bag of stolen goods, threw it at Flash, and crossed his arms.
"You didn't have to throw the ice at me." Flash shot out after he checked that the missing diamonds were, in fact, in the bag that was thrown at him.
"I'd need some ice for my finger if you're planning to propose." Captain Cold let it be known.
"If that happens I'll buy it. You know. Legally. Like a normal person. Like a normal person that makes money. You know. Legally. With a good paying job. "
Mick opened his mouth and Barry cut in, "With a legal good paying job." Mick's mouth snapped shut.
"I almost feel like you're trying to get a point across." Len tapped his gloved fingers on the side of his sunglasses, "Imagine that."
Mick huffed and turned to walk out of the building.
"Aw, don't give us the cold shoulder." Flash and Cold somehow chimed at the same time.
Mick narrowed his eyes at both of them.
"Is it hot in here or is it just you?" The Flash crowed out.
"Ah, the heat's on." Len informed Flash in a mock grievous tone of voice as Mick's face flushed in either anger or embarrassment.
"I feel like you're taunting the bull here, Barry, and I'm living for this," Cisco said in his ear, voice full of laughter. "Hold on, hold on, let me look some puns up for you to use." Cisco was quiet for a few beats until he spoke again.
"I lava good fight," Barry repeated. Len pushed back the hood of his parka and looked generally amused.
"No one can hold a candle to your beauty."
"...you..."
"Looks like you've met your match."
"Stop."
"This was a tinder encounter but we have burned too much time."
"I mean it."
"You're fired."
"I'm warning you."
"He's really spitting these out rapid fire." Cold commented.
Mick had his flame thrower trained on Flash and Captain Cold looked on in poorly restrained glee.
"Are you really that radiant or are those flames?" Barry asked, side stepping towards Cold in anticipation. Mick's eyes just narrowed.
"Is that a spark in your eye I see?"
"I've got one for you," Mick's rough voice cut through, "How do you like your ribs? Well done, smokey, or CHARRED," The buff man had barely finished his sentence before he flicked the safety off of his flamethrower and started shooting at them.
Flash grabbed Len under his shoulders and fled the building, both of them cackling.
"Damn, I was gonna tell you to say this next: 'You were the chosen one. I loved you like a brother, Anakin.'" Cisco pipped up in his ear after the Flash got him and Cold out of the building.
The building promptly went up in flames. Flash was ready to go in to grab Mick but Cold caught his bicep and nodded his head to the side. They both saw Heatwave stomping heavily down the sidewalk in anger. Barry shook his head in exasperation.
"Not now, Cisco, civilians are looking at us all funny," Barry mumbled and readied his arms and started wheeling them around like a super speed fan. The few people there were on the side walks were, in fact, giving them odd looks. Len pulled the parka hood back over his head and wiggled his gloved fingers at a particular couple who were open mouthed gawking at them.
"Looking at you odd? I wonder why. I mean it's everyday that the Flash carries out Captain Cold out of a building, both laughing like mad men, isn't it?" Flash huffed and stopped when it looked like he got the last of the fire out.
He rolled his shoulders and then turned to address the crowd in his warble-y Flash voice, "It's under control now, everything is-" He cut himself off as a little girl was pointing behind him repeatedly while tugging on the hem of her mother's shirt.
"Something else just caught on fire again behind me, didn't it."
Before he could turn around and put it out, the sound of the cold gun powering up and shooting out a blast of ice hit his ears.
"I got it." Cold informed him, with a shit eating grin
-x-
I'm almost tempted to make this into a running series like...who can annoy Mick the most.
This was actually meant to be a one-shot, but… I actually have the second chapter in the works. Go figure, right?
If y'all have any ideas or anything please let me know! :)
