It was dark. It smelled bad, like someone had just cleaned the floors. I couldn't see where I was, my eye lids felt really heavy. I could hear voices around me, but I couldn't understand what they were saying or what was going on. I wish I could say I felt scared, but I couldn't feel anything right now. I couldn't feel anything, but then again, I didn't try to move. I would have tried to move my limbs, but I was too focused on the voices around me. As I was coming back into consciousness, I think I mumbled something along the lines of, "where am I?" and "my head hurts", because soon after that I heard a lot of footsteps and people calling my name and asking me questions.
"Lucy! Are you alright?"
"Of course she isn't alright, she almost died!"
"She didn't die, so she is okay. Are you okay Lucy?"
"She said her head hurt, so everyone back up and calm down."
I thought I was gonna faint. At first the voices were quiet, but after a few seconds it sounded like I was in a hurricane. And with the way I was feeling, I could have been put through one.
"Lucy. My name is Doctor Heklin. You have to stay still for me okay?" the new voice said. I did what it said, but how could I not. I could hear the control in their voice that made me want to obey.
I slowly opened my eyes but didn't move my body. I saw lights passing above me and I had to close my eyes before I got too dizzy. I recognized it as the hospital, but I could tell by the way people were talking and moving, I knew it was the emergency room. I've never been in one, but I'm pretty sure it's not hard to guess what one looks like. I felt like I was going to pass out again. I figured it might be bad so I tried to say something but the only thing that came out of my mouth was, "sleep...".
"No! No sleeping Lucy, you have to stay awake. You cannot go back to sleep yet," the doctor said. "You have to stay awake. Tell me something! Tell me about yourself. Just try your best to stay awake, just until we say so, okay?"
I mumbled "okay", and tried to explain things about myself. If you were one of the people around me, you would have thought I was nuts. I was just rambling on of things about myself, not very clearly though, but some of the words I said that you could understand were "blonde", "15", "tried to die", "pink", and "Natsu". Most of the other words I tried to say, you couldn't really understand. I was trying to stay awake, but I was slowly falling asleep. I think some of the doctors started to notice and became concerned.
"Lucy, who is Natsu? Is he your brother? Boyfriend?" one of the nurses asked. "Keep talking Lucy, we are almost there. Just a little farther and a little bit longer and then you can sleep."
I was having trouble staying conscious. I was slowly drifting off when I realized something. My arm felt funny when I tried to move it. I moved my neck slightly and winced, but I slowly opened my eyes and looked down at my arm. It had medical wrap on it with gauze underneath, but with the blood soaking threw, it wasn't hard to see what happened. I slightly rolled on my side as I felt like I was gonna be sick. I softly groaned and put my right arm over my stomach. I'm guessing someone noticed my distress because they said to me, "It'll be okay soon Lucy, just hang on a little longer."
"It hurts," I mumbled.
"I know it does Lucy, but you gotta stay awake sweetheart," Dr. Heklin said. "Can you tell me what you did? Or why you did it?"
"I don't wanna live anymore.." I said quietly. I coughed up a little blood and slightly curling my body into a ball with my arm pressed closer into my stomach. "Don't save me... I'll just do it again later…" I trailed off. I really did want to die. I was trying to go live in the sky.
"Why did you try to kill yourself Lucy?" someone asked me.
"For them... All of them…" I said.
After that I heard some more talking and the voices got softer and right before I passed back out into unconsciousness, I heard someone yell at me, "Don't go yet, Lucy!"
-XXXXXXXX-
The lights were very bright when I woke back up. My arm hurt slightly more than when I fell asleep, but my stomach was feeling better. I slowly opened my eyes back up and looked around. I was on a bed in the middle of the room with some machines to my left. It hurt a little to move my neck, so I slowly turned my head to look at my right side. I saw my sleeping mother, Layla, in a chair and my father, Jude, facing out the window. I don't know how long I was out, but seeing the bags under my mother's eyes, I'm guessing I was asleep for a while. I tried to move my arm to get a better look at it, but it started hurting more and I let out a little whimper in pain. My father turned quickly to look at me, and I noticed he looked sleep deprived as well. He softly smiled at me and came up to my side and hugged me. I hugged back as much as I could, which wasn't very much since I was still weak and in pain. I could hear my father softly crying and he kept repeating, "you're alive, my little girl is alive," over and over again.
I think all of the commotion woke up my mom, because she was sleeping uncomfortably in the chair, and then she jolted awake and screamed my name, "Lucy!" She hugged me close and slightly tight, probably being careful not to hurt me. She was crying both of them hugging me, it felt a little tight, but I didn't mind. I was crying also. I guess I didn't realize how much I missed them.
After a few minutes of crying from both of my parents, my mom was the first one to speak. "You're alive, I knew you would be, but the doctor didn't know yet," she kissed my forehead and started talking again after a short pause. "We should probably go get the doctor and tell her that you're awake and okay." I nodded, not knowing what else to do. "oh, and I brought this. I figured you would want it here." she walked over to her bag and took out a stuffed animal. I softly smiled when I saw what, or who in this case, she was holding. "I know how much you love this thing." And she handed it to me and I hugged it immediately, even though it hurt my arm a little bit. It was my favorite stuffed animal ever. My older brother gave it to me before he went off to the army. I miss him. He took me to the zoo when I was 13 and got me a stuffed animal in the shape of a penguin, with little black eyes and an orange nose. I always sleep with it and even though I have other stuff to remember Laxus, I always remember him with the penguin. We call a lot, but with school being stressful, we haven't called too much lately. I don't know when he is coming home.
I haven't said anything since before I fell asleep. Now would be the best time I guess. Using my voice, I said, "When is Laxus coming home?" it came out a little horse, but I know my parents still heard me. They looked at each other, and then turned back to me. In all honesty, I was expecting the worse news that could possibly be told. My dad put his hand on my mom's back for reassurance.
My mom looked at me and said, "Honey, he came home while you were asleep. He also came to visit you here, but left when we told him you tried to kill yourself. He will come back soon, but Laxus said he needed to talk to someone, and he didn't say who."
My heart broke, and with that, I hid under my blankets and cried myself to sleep.
