Contest: Twilight of Craigslist AD Contest (Part I)

Title: Penis Terrorizing Dog Found

Rating: M

Word Count (minus A/N and header): 208

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Ferocious Man Hating Dog Found Near Forks. Is it yours? (Forks, WA)
Date: 2011-08-2, 6:13PM
Reply to: doggylikesdick (at) craigslist (dot) org


I was walking past the Forks library last week, when I found this mutt cowering in the bushes. He looked scared and hungry, so I took him home. There was no tag around his neck. He was, however, wearing a t-shirt that said Jacob on it.

The dog looks to be a one-year old Beagle with light brown fur.

I've posted signs all around town, but no one has claimed him yet. I don't mind keeping him. But there's a problem. The dog likes to chew at dudes… THERE. He hasn't attacked me, but the whole neighborhood's complaining. The mailman won't even come to our house anymore. It's like he's bred to hate males. And you should see him in action. He really gets going and from the sounds of it, it hurts. I don't understand why I'm the exception, but it's only a matter of time. My parents say that he really has to go.

If someone doesn't claim him within a week…we're dropping him off at the pound.

I'd really hate to do that but my brother and father have taken to sleeping with a steel-cupped jockstrap at night. To say they aren't pleased is an understatement. If this dog is yours please come collect him


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