Subj: "Maybe She Picked Up A Sailor"
Date: 10/2/99 11:52:00 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: MicheMach
To: MicheMach

"Maybe She Picked Up A Sailor"

(One day, I believe it was a Tuesday, no, maybe a Wednesday, yeah, I remember, it was a Thursday, Laverne borrowed the car for a date, and Shirley had to work overtime. After the little fiasco that happened last time she rode in Rosie Greenbaum's Cadillac, she decided to walk. So why didn't she walk to Carmine's dance studio so then after classes they could walk home together [sounds like school, don't it?]? Because she's naive. So anyway, around six o'clock, no one on the street, everyone home, she's walking home. She had her grandmother's Victorian pin in her purse. Darn Mr. Shotz making her work over time. She had to take that and a few other things to the jewelry store. Maybe the jewler could take that adhesive tape off the class ring Carmine gave her. The clasp on both the Victorian pin and that half heart necklace Laverne gave her [episode: Laverne and Shirley Move In] were broken, so it was all safely tucked away in her purse. Darn it, the jewelry store's closed. Shirley stands at the crosswalk getting ready to cross the street, when suddenly, someone grabs her by the hair and drags her into an alley. After one punch everything goes black.)

(in Laverne's apartment Laverne's pacing around)

Laverne: You know, this proves it. Shirley's an idiot.
Carmine: Yeah, this is kind of dumb. Shirley can't defend herself. She can scream though.
Laverne: You know she coulda gotten mugged or somethin'?
Carmine: Why don't ya call that cop you know? Chubby, what's his name?
Laverne: He's not chubby, he's just..... his name is Norman, and I will call him.

(she starts dialing when there's a knock on the door)

Laverne: Who is it?
Norman: It's me, Norman. Laverne, you there?
Laverne: Yeah, yeah, come in.

(she hangs up the phone and opens the door)

Laverne: Listen, I don't know what to do, Shirl's missin', she had to work overtime and I took the car and she walked home and she's not home.
Norman: Maybe she met a sailor, there are a lot of bars between here and Shotz.
Carmine: That's Laverne's department.
Norman: Anyway, I ordered a search...
Laverne: Awww, your ordered a search for me?

(Carmine clears his throat)

Laverne: I mean for Shirl?
Norman: Yeah. If anyone asks, she's been missing 3 days.
Carmine: Is there anything we can do? Besides sitting here?
Norman: Uhh, not really. You could go to the Pizza Bowl and tell your dad she's missin'.
Laverne: Great idea!

(they run out the door and lock the door. Unfortunately, Norman was still inside.)

Norman: (yelling through the window) Hey Laverne!! Laverne! You left me in here!! Laverne!!

(she runs back and lets him out,then locks the door after making sure no one's in there.)

(at the Pizza Bowl, Norman walks in, tell Mr. DeFazio, and goes to leave)

Laverne: Where you goin'?
Norman: I still have to make my daily rounds. But I'll look for her, okay?
Laverne: Yeah, thanks Norman.
(she kisses his cheek and goes back to the counter)

(Mr. DeFazio is now yelling at Carmine who, suprisingly, doesn't flinch even though he's yelling in his ear)

Laverne: Carmine? You deaf in that ear?
Carmine: After today, yeah.
Frank: Why didn't you walk home with her?
Carmine: See, I still had to work at the dance studio, but I admit, I shoulda offered. Lucille wouldn't have liked it.

(Laverne smacks him upside the head)

Laverne: Shirl's missin' and you're thinkin' about Lucille?

(she smacks him again)
(Mr. DeFazio then smacks him on the head a few more times)

Carmine: Okay, if you want I'll go look for Shirl.
Edna: We're not forcing you Carmine.
Carmine: Oh Shirl, where could you be? (he walks out the door)
Laverne: What is wrong with him? I have a good mind to go and punch
Lucille right in the face, make her all bruised.
Edna: We have to find Shirley first.