Tisbpin the Talking Ghost

So, peoples, this is my first story, hope ya like it! It's kinda cheesy, but funny all the same.

These ARE my own characters, sorry about the unpronouncable names, I have a thing about that :)

UM, if you like it or have a critique to offer please feel free to review it! thankyou! and now, ladies and gentlemen, (drumroll) for Tisbpin the Talking Ghost.

Not so long ago, the land of Pinkmania was ruled by a queen named Kozmo, (or, as she preferred to be called, Kozmo the Great). Kozmo was very girly girl, and she was also rather goofy. The trouble is, those two traits do not mix overly well. This Kozmo had three children. The eldest, who was called Telequah, was pretty, kind, and rather smart, too. The middle child was called Tisbpin. (Pronounced Tis-bin.)Tisbpin was fanatical about Gatorade. So saying, she was very fat, rather dumb, and mean, too. The last child, Marty, was only four years old. He loved to play video games. Secretly, Tisbpin was Kozmo's favorite child. So when it came time to pick an heir to the throne, Kozmo immediately chose Tisbpin. Because she didn't want anyone to know that she had favorites, her excuse went thus: "Since Telequah is a tomboy, she obviously is not fit to rule over Pinkmania. Marty is far too young, and besides, it is customary to have a queen, not a king. That leaves only Tisbpin." Around this point she gave a simpering smile to her middle child. And so Tisbpin became the heir to the girly girl throne.

One night as Kozmo the Great lay slumbering in bed, she had a dream, which told her that Tisbpin would meet a gruesome death caused by Gatorade. Since Kozmo believed that dreams are of the utmost importance; that they are sent down by the goddess Pinka to give humans warning about the future, she immediately sprang into action. Nothing must happen to her favorite child, heir of Pinkmania! So Kozmo built a huge tower and decorated it quite elaborately with painted bottles of Gatorade. Then she locked Tisbpin inside. Tisbpin was furious, because she was locked up, yes, but most of all because her mother forbade her to drink any Gatorade. The paintings of Gatorade on the walls did not make things any better. Far from it. They made things worse. Sorely tempted was Tisbpin by all these paintings of her favorite drink, and one day she worked herself up into a frenzy and started attacking the walls. With a chisel, she tried to hack down the portrayed Gatorade to punish it. To her dismay, she found that the walls and ceiling began to crumble! A large piece of ceiling hit her on the head with a resounding 'thud' and Tisbpin was knocked out and buried under the collapsing tower.

Kozmo, who was in the middle of an extremely important meeting with the President of Tomboy Land, heard the rumbling and crashing noises coming from afar, and knew only too well what they meant. You see, Kozmo was very cheap, and, not wanting to spend a lot of money on the tower, had got it made very shoddily so she would not have to pay as much for it. (In fact, she had only paid $250 for the whole thing, and she had a suspicion that she had been over-paying.) Kozmo did not want to think about what would happen to her reputation if word got out that she cared more about money than of her daughter's well-being. Slightly panicky, she quickly excused herself from the meeting and dashed off to the tower. A horrible scene met her eyes. The tower was in ruins, and on top of it all lay Tisbpin's pitiful figure. It did not occur to Kozmo to check and see if Tisbpin was alive; she naturally assumed the worst and set about wailing, wondering what was to become of her. She didn't even find anything suspicious about Tisbpin's being on top of all the rubble. Tisbpin, who was (have you guessed yet?) still alive, smiled inwardly. She was going to punish her mother for locking her up and denying her her favorite drink! So Tisbpin played dead all the way up to the house. When it came time for the funeral, Tisbpin even let them put her in the coffin and into a grave. But before they started burying her, she rose up from the coffin in her best zombie pose. Her mother took one look at this fearful sight and screamed, "It's her ghost! It's her ghost come back to haunt me because I wouldn't let her have any Gatorade!" and Kozmo promptly fainted. With a terrified gasp, Tisbpin shrieked, "I've killed my mom! I'm a murderer!" and promptly fainted too. The guests were shocked by this. They had never heard of a talking ghost. Soon they realized that it was not a ghost, but Tisbpin, alive and well! So the guests hurriedly woke up Kozmo and Tisbpin, who were happily reunited.