Contest: Twilight of Craigslist AD Contest (Part I)

Title: Tired of Being Around Kids

Rating: T

Character: Rosalie

Warnings and Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight related, but I do feel the same as Rosalie does about wiping up other people's kids.

Word Count (minus A/N and header): 355

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Adult Companionship Needed—Absolutely No Kid Talk Allowed (your city)
Date: 2011-10-22, 2:00PM CST
Reply to: Rosalie


No, not that kind of adult companionship, perverts. I own and operate a highly successful daycare. Taking care of and nurturing children is what I enjoy and am most proud of in my life. But all of my friends have kids of their own, and after spending twelve hours a day with their kids and other kids that I'm paid to take care of, I don't want to see another tiny person. Once six pm comes around, I don't want to hear about how great your kid is after I spent all day wiping their nose and butt, and cleaning up their messes—they just aren't that awesome.

What I'm looking for is someone that likes to go to concerts, sporting events, pub crawls—adult events like that. Hell, I've even been to a demolition derby, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I had a ton of fun. But if you're idea of a concert is smooth Jazz, don't even bother. If I wanted to fall asleep I'd listen to my friends go on and on about the spectacular stuff I watched their kids do all day.

What I don't want is someone who has kids. Why? Because I simply want someone who knows where I'm coming from and that understands what it's like to be unattached. You won't have someone around that you can't abandon without going to jail if I call you up and want to go out for a drink after a crappy day. Okay, I kid, but you get my drift. I don't want to talk about children, I certainly don't want to wipe anything off of your body, and I'd rather not go anywhere that kids frequent when we go out together. And if you dare break out the baby talk, don't be surprised when you get punched in the junk. You have been warned—I already here that shit straight from the source during the day, and on them it's actually cute.

I'm looking for a cool guy for a platonic relationship, but if it turns out that you're great, who knows? Maybe it could lead to more.


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