Kyra Cuddy-House, M.D.
An idea stolen from Mauigirl, with her permission.
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Jerseygrrl34: So? Coming?
Princeton Princess: Only if we take the bus, my dad is on one of his rants.
Jerseygrrl34: K Bus it is. What r u wearing
Princeton Princess: Chanel 5 and a smile
Jerseygrrl34: whateva
Dad approves of Jenna, even though she's still in high school. Says she keeps me grounded. Dad is big on socialization. I have lessons too, skating, tennis, piano. My parents believe in keeping me well rounded.
Jenna likes to go to the mall and see if we can meet boys. It rather goes without saying. We're both cute; hot when we want to be, and the boys around here, well it might be the hormones, but they're kind of easy to manipulate.
I checked my hair, my outfit and the three items of make up I'm allowed to use. I picked lip-gloss, mascara and eye shadow. The one last thing was a blast of perfume; not Chanel 5, but Spirit of Moonflower from The Body Shop. My cousin works there and she gave it to me for my birthday last week. Speaking of my birthday, I would like to lodge an official protest that I did NOT get a car for my birthday. I mean, it would have made so much sense, I need it for work. But Dad believes that I am too young for a car. Harrumph. Old enough to be a doctor, too young for a car?
I can't believe that I'm sixteen already. On one hand, I feel about a million years old, on the other, wasn't I just a child prodigy yesterday? It was hard to believe that I was starting my obstetrics rotation in just one week, nearly half-way through my residency. Where does the time go? I checked myself one more time before I ran down the stairs.
Dad sat in a chair by the door. "Where are you going?" He asked over the headlines in the Star-Ledger.
"Mall." I replied.
"Don't lose any brain cells." He said, returning to the paper.
I rolled my eyes. He thinks he's being so funny. I kissed the top of his head and noticed that he was getting a bit of a bald spot. "Later." I called as the door closed. I walked the couple of blocks to the bus stop and saw Jenna talking to a guy in a convertible Mustang. I snuck up behind her. "BUSTED!" I yelled. Just to get her attention.
Jenna jumped a few feet and then gave me a cold look. I swear, if it hadn't been me she would have said, "You are so juvenile." But she didn't.
"So? Who's your friend?" I asked.
"This is Trevor. Trevor, this is my idiot best friend Kyra." She gestured with her hand towards a lovely blond boy.
"Hi." I said smiling. He was cute. I never could keep track of who Jenna was interested in. Personally I think she had the right idea, she waited until they had a thing for her before she bothered to even notice that they existed. He nodded at me and turned his attention back to her. Rude.
"So Jenna, you want me to give you and your friend a ride to the mall? It'll beat the bus." He offered.
It was tempting. It was a beautiful car and he sure was pretty. I gave her a look. I don't like the bus.
"Sure! Shotgun!" She shouted and opened up the door. I squeezed into the back behind her and buckled up.
Trevor turned up the stereo, Get it Poppin' throbbed through the sound system as we cruised through the neighborhood. Jenna flipped down the visor so she could apply lip gloss seductively. I put on my sunglasses and sat back, feeling very cool and grown up.
Trevor gunned it as we hit the main drag. At first it was no big deal. But he kept weaving in and out of traffic and running yellow lights. I closed my eyes for a moment because he was freaking me out. I didn't want to be a drag, and I was about to protest when I heard Jenna shriek, "Slow down!" If she was afraid, we were in trouble.
Trevor hot-rodded his way towards the mall and he made a nearly suicidal left-hand turn across three lanes of traffic onto the access road. I was about to offer up a prayer of thanksgiving when I heard him shout, "Shit!" The brakes squealed and there was a sickening crash and thump.
"Asshole!" Jenna screamed at Trevor. She got out of the car and ran to the front. I followed, not so much to see what we hit, but to get the heck out of that death wagon. Jenna had her phone out and was trying to dial 9-1-1 with shaking fingers. She looked up at me, "Do something."
I looked down at the motorcyclist. His bike was tangled wreckage under the front end of the Mustang. Thankfully, I had just finished my ER rotation. "Turn off the engine, Asshole." I called to Trevor. I liked his new nickname; I planned to use it often.
I felt the motorcyclist's legs. His jeans were torn and he had some pretty good road rash, but there didn't seem to be any broken bones. He had been out for a moment, but he came to, groaning and cursing. "Dammit! My bike!" He tried to remove his helmet, but I stopped him.
"Just lay still. The paramedics are coming. I'm a doctor." I informed him.
"No way." I heard Asshole say to Jenna.
"She is, Asshole." She stood away from him, as though she were disgusted. That's why I like Jenna, she has principles.
"What's your name?" I asked the motorcyclist
"Joey." He replied
"Joey what?" I noticed that he had really pretty eyes. Brown and big, like a cow.
"Joey Corelli." He said.
"Where are you Joey?" I continued to check him over as he answered.
"I'm at the mall." I nodded as he continued, "In Princeton, New Jersey."
"What year is it?" I asked, going through the motions.
"2005." He responded.
"I think you're okay, but they're going to take you to the hospital just to make sure. Is there anyone you want us to call?" I asked with my pen primed to write a number on my hand.
"Could you call my folks? They could meet us there." He gave me the number and I jotted it down.
The meat wagon rolled up and the paramedics jumped out. I showed them my hospital ID and introduced myself. "I'm Dr. Cuddy-House. I work at PPTH. He experienced a short black-out upon impact, but regained consciousness within a minute. His pupils are equal and reactive. There don't appear to be any broken bones, although there's some tenderness in the abdomen." I informed them.
One guy chuckled and the other guy elbowed him. "That's House's kid. And Cuddy's kid." He warned.
"Shit." The other guy said, "They mated?"
"Alright. That's enough of that. I said," trying to be business-like. "Let's get going."
"You're coming with us?" The first paramedic asked.
"You got a problem with that?" I asked. My dad taught me this really cool facial expression. It's meant to make a person shrink at least 50 percent. It works pretty well.
"No. No problem. Hop in Doc. What about your friend?" He indicated Jenna.
"She can ride up front with you." I said. "She likes shotgun."
He started to protest, but I flashed him the face again.
Soon we were on our way to PPTH. Leaving Asshole to explain the situation to the cops.
After we had turned our patient over to the capable ER docs, Jenna and I went down to the cafeteria to eat something and to decide how we were getting home. I figured we had a decent shot at running into someone I knew down there.
We were sharing a plate of fries when Chase waved at us from across the room.
"Dork alert." Jenna whispered.
I think she's crazy. Chase is a cutie; he just has no taste in clothing. He wore brown slacks, a blue plaid shirt and a striped tie. I mean, that goes even beyond color-blindness.
"Hello Robert." I said as he approached the table. The guy works for my dad, so I get latitude.
"Hi Squirt. What are you doing here? I thought you were off today." He sat down and helped himself to a fry.
"We got into an accident, so I rode in with the victim. Jenna got to work the siren." I smacked his hand as he went for another pass at the plate.
"Hey." He whined. He's a big baby.
"Get your own." I had an idea. "Oh, wait, no. Go ahead. Have my share." I pushed the plate towards him.
He wolfed another one down, "What's the catch?"
"Give us a ride home." I proposed.
He sat down. "Okay. Do I have to come in or anything?"
"No. Just drive us to our respective houses. It would be nice if you waited to make sure that we got in okay, but it's not mandatory."
Jenna thought for a moment, "Could you run us by Macy's? They're having a sale. Maybe there's something for you." Trust her to push her luck. Did she just bat her eyelashes at him?
Chase grabbed my cup and sipped out of my straw. I didn't know if I should be skived out or delighted. I decided to let him keep it. "I'll give you a ride home. I'm not going near that mall."
Jenna pouted.
Chase laughed, "Nice try. Have a heart, I've worked all day."
I looked at my watch, it was nearly five. "Crap. I'm supposed to be home anyway. But you have to let us give you a makeover one of these days."
"Yeah, maybe. Come on, I've got a date." He hustled us out to his car. He's a young guy, a doctor, you'd think he'd have something interesting, but no, just a Honda. I thought he was a trust-funder, but I guess that's part of being super-rich, you don't care what people think about your car.
I'll be allowed to buy my own car when I'm 18. I'm saving money towards that. Sometimes I think I'll buy a Lexus, gold, with tan leather, or maybe red, with white leather. I'll get a really great sound system and a moon-roof. But then I think I want a roadster, a convertible or something like that.
Anyway my phone rang. I looked at the number. Dad. Crap. "Hello?" I answered. I held the phone away from my ear; I knew he was going to be pissed.
"Why are the police here?" He said with that I'll kill you when company's gone tone to his voice.
"Oh. Uh. The accident." I said, rather incoherently.
"An accident. On the bus?" Sarcasm. There's a switch.
"No. In some asshole's car. We went with the victim to the hospital. Chase is bringing us home, we're almost there." In fact we were pulling up to the house. There was a cop car in the driveway. I gave Chase a thank-you peck on the cheek. "Yes, I'll bring Jenna in too."
Dad stood on the stoop with the cordless. He leaned on his cane and gave me his best beleaguered look. You know, the whole, my teenaged daughter is torturing me, face. I rolled my eyes. He can be such a drama queen sometimes. We were standing on the lawn when he gestured with the phone to Chase and called, "You! You come in here too!"
"Daddy!" I said, okay, maybe I whined a little, "he just gave us a ride home."
Chase looked like he cursed as he killed the engine and got out. We all walked up to the door like we were going to the electric chair. He handed the phone to Jenna. "Call your mom and tell her that you're fine, but that you have to give a statement to the police. Then tell her we'll give you a ride home."
He put his hand on Chase's chest and kept him outside. Rude.
There were two cops. One took me into the dining room and the other took Jenna into the living room. I heard Chase's car start up and drive away. I wonder what Dad had said to him. I mean, he only gave us a ride home. He was doing me a favor. Oh well, he can be unreasonable sometimes.
I gave my version of the story to the cop. There wasn't much to tell, considering that I had my eyes closed at the time of the incident. He seemed really interested in my being a doctor. So we talked about that for a few minutes. The other cop came in and it appeared that they had what they needed from us. They took off and we were alone. I wondered where Dad went.
Jenna grabbed a soda out of the fridge, "Share with me?" she asked.
"Yeah. So where do you think Dad and Chase went?" I filled glasses with ice.
She poured half the can into her glass and passed the rest to me. "Probably to rant at Trevor, or his parents, or both." She said, sticking her finger in the glass to make the foam go down.
I employed the Dartmouth method and tilted the glass so the soda could run down the side, "Oh crap. You're right. He's really pissed. I'll probably be grounded until Christmas." How depressing.
Jenna laughed, "It's not like you have much of a life anyway. How would being grounded be different from any other day for you?"
"Shut up, Floozy. I have a life." I was lying. I don't have a life. I haven't had a date since my Bat Mitzvah.
"You don't. Too bad, I was going to have Trevor bring you on my date with Matt so we could double. But you can't date an asshole, so I guess I'll have to go with plan B. You have to ask Chase." She tipped the glass back and an ice cube slid out and hit her in the nose.
I blushed. Damn her. How did she know I was crushing on him? "I'm not asking him. I have to work with him."
She had the nerve to laugh at me, "Not even. Nice try though. You have a lot in common with Chase, he's a doctor, you're a doctor. He's cute, you're cute. What's the problem?"
I began ticking off the list on my fingers, but I could have extended to my toes, "First of all, he's an adult, I'm technically a child. Secondly, he has a girlfriend, or girlfriends. Third, he thinks of me as a friend, if he thinks of me at all. And items four through one-hundred: Dad. I don't even want to think about it." It was hopeless.
"He likes you. I can tell. You're sixteen now, in Europe you've reached the age of consent. In New Jersey you're a late-bloomer. He's not all that much older than you are. Don't they have an abbreviated school system in Australia? How old is he anyway?" Her stomach rumbled and we both giggled.
"Hungry?" I asked, happy to change the subject.
"Always. Is your dad feeding us?" She slid her glass to the middle of the table.
The kitchen door opened and Dad reappeared with bags from the Chinese place.
"I guess so." I jumped up to grab plates and I saw that Mom was right behind him. Crap.
He set the bags on the table. "We'll eat first, we'll kill you later."
We inhaled the mu shu, knowing that retribution was at hand.
After dinner we sat at the table and were treated to a tandem lecture. Dad started. "So you got into a car with a person you don't even know?"
"I knew him." Jenna interjected.
"That's not enough. Besides, don't you have enough sense not to get into the car of someone with obvious inadequacy issues?"
"Apparently not." Jenna said, chastened.
"Dad, that's not fair. Jenna knows him from school and other than the fact that he turned out to have something to prove, there's no known harm." I tried to reason with him. He likes an intelligent argument.
Mom tapped her fingernails on the table; it's a creepy sound, "Let's just get something straight. You don't get into anyone's car…period. No guys you know from school," pointing at Jenna, "No guys you meet in bars," she fixed me with a stare, "Yes, I know about that. No guys you find at the mall. And if you think that there might be a loophole, there isn't."
"But what about Chase? He brought us home." Jenna chimed in.
"Chase…" Both Mom and Dad started to say. "Go ahead," Mom said, giving Dad the floor.
"Chase is a colleague. He's our," he motioned between himself and Mom, "employee. He's the exception that proves the rule."
"Have you lost your mind?" Mom asked, "Not Chase either." She had turned to emphasize her point with us, then she turned to Dad. "Not Chase." She said, lifting an eyebrow that was her code for, I'll explain it to you later.
Crap. Crap. Crap. Now Mom was suspicious. Great.
Dad opened his mouth to protest, "But…"
"Not. Chase. Either." And that was the end of that. Mom's Jimmy Choo shod foot came down on the pronouncement. "Oh, and you," she pointed to me, "Are grounded for two weeks. Home and work only. No mall. No movies. Nothing."
"You," She pointed to Jenna, "are going home now." She got up and indicated that Jenna should gather her stuff and follow her out to the car. She kissed and hugged me. "I'm proud of how you helped the patient and I'm glad you're safe."
We watched as they drove down the street. Dad turned to me and said, "I have to worry about Chase?"
I smacked him in the arm, "As if!" I don't think I fooled him though.
