Okay, since I'm just that cool, I've decided to make a pointless story about a tragedy that happens to Phoebe. I know that you know that I know that I don't own Charmed, so we'll leave it there, capisce? Oh, and this is my first fanfic so be nice and R&R!

A/N – This story takes place somewhere close to the beginning of season five. Even though I know some of the stuff I've set up isn't going to happen, well, can't a girl dream? Just so the story flows how I want it to, Piper is Pregnant, and best of all, Phoebe and Cole are together again and still married because I couldn't see it any other way. Enjoy!



Holy shit, it won't come off! No matter how hard I scrub the damn color won't come off of my skin! What have I done? Maybe I should start off by telling you why I'm ass-naked in the shower scrubbing myself to the point where I'm bleeding!

It all started with the destruction of this ugly statue. I was totally psyched to get rid of it. You would be too. The statue was of a Pooty (those ugly little cherub babies that are found all the time in Greek Paintings), and this Pooty had a face that gave off one of those "I'm a total pervert" vibes. He'd always stare at me with this evil little grin that sent a shiver down my spine. Not to mention the little shit was in my room so that whenever I was changing or getting it on with Cole, he'd just be starring at me with this rapist smile. Well, today was the day the Pooty was destroyed for good. I dressed him like a demon, and lugged it down stairs. Then, just as Piper was getting home from grocery shopping, I screamed "Demon!", pointed to the demon/statue, and sure enough, Piper blew it to bits. What a relief!

But the story doesn't end there. After Piper realized that the "demon" was actually the statue that my dad gave to me as a wedding gift, she just about had her baby. The statue had cost my dad over 5,000 dollars. She told me in her extremely annoying voice "Why didn't you just put it somewhere else? Or better yet, sell it so we could at least make a little money!" But I couldn't live with myself knowing that the Pooty was out there making another person feel as uncomfortable as I had. I made the right choice and it was time to celebrate with some cake. I'm not a cook, so I don't how to make a cake, but I do have a knack for whipping up a mean bowl of frosting. So there I was, spoon in hand with a bowl in the other, just stirring away. I added some black food coloring to the white mix so I could get the grayish hue of the statue, after all, Piper was making a Pooty cake. Making the frosting was getting to be so fun, I just couldn't resist dipping a finger in to take a taste. So, I did. But one thing led to another and soon I was smearing the frosting all over my face. I must have looked like a toddler, but hell, those were the best years of my life. In no time at all I was covered from head to toe in frosting, that's when I decided to show off my new look. I walked my gray self out into the living room and put on a terrific show for the family. They all looked at me as though I was some psycho, but I just shrugged it off.

After a good fifteen minutes of showing everyone my new "frosting dance", Cole and stood up and left with an annoyed look on his face. He probably thought that I had lost it or something. I guess he couldn't take my free spirit. Then the unthinkable happened as I was reenacting my favorite commercial (the smoking one where the three girls were putting on acne cream, and one of them lit on fire, lol) when my face really did start to burn. I thought it may have been the natural ingredients of my frosting kicking in, but I was oh so wrong. I let out a piercing shriek and ran into the bathroom. I quickly splashed my face with water and scrubbed at it with the wash cloth. I felt like my face was on fire. It was like no other experience I'd ever had before. When I looked up in the mirror I discovered that my face had turned purple. No Joke! I was purple!

That brings me back to my present state. Here I am, in the shower trying to scrub the purple off of my body. Leo already tried to heal me when he first saw me. He thought I had been possessed. Now that I think about the events of today, I start to wonder if this was maybe the Pooty's fault. If I hadn't have destroyed it, I wouldn't have made the frosting and this could have all been avoided. All I know now is that I can't go out in public again and that my family has put me under strict watch incase I go crazy again. Maybe I'm just too much for all of them. That's right Phoebe Halliwell, you're just too much.



The End



A/N - This was based on a true event that happened not too long ago, but my skin color is back to normal. Pleasereview the story cuz I would appreciate it a lot, and give me some ideas for writing new stories. Thanky!