Aubri's Version of Chapter 9
Brigid had been cooing over Fang for nearly an hour now, and it was really starting to bug me, well actually it had bugged me from the very beginning. You get the picture.
We were at a hotel, the Cher Forage way to ritzy for us if you ask me, but of course no one had. It was just outside the stadium and we were plotting what to do next. Well at least that was what we were supposed to be doing, all we'd done so far was sit around the fancy hotel room. And all I'd been doing was watching Brigid flirt with Fang to the point that I was ready to rip her head off of her perfect skinny neck and chuck. Forget I said that.
"Okay Okay everyone listen up" I bellowed glaring at Fang as he reluctantly took his eyes off of Brigid. He smirked up at me sort of saying with his eyes you're the one missing out. I flushed pink and then regained my composure and tried to begin my little speech.
I really had no clue where we were going next. But being leader I couldn't let the others know that, number 1 rule of being leader of the flock look like you always know what you're doing and don't leave any reason for the others to doubt, not ever, not for one second. Angel looked up at me questionably. She knew just as well as I that I had no idea what to do or say, but being the sweet heart she is she didn't tell the others, she gave me a look with her big blue eyes as if to say I know you'll come up with something. No pressure.
"You're smart Max, I know any second now you'll think of what to do next" Angel sent me through thought. I smiled down at her.
"Ahem" Iggy said. "I believe you were going to say something" he said a little too sarcastically for my current mood to tolerate. I wondered if it would look to bad in front of Brigid if I strangled the blind guy, but since when did I care what Brigid thought.
"Max I have new coordinates" I had never been so happy to hear that voice inside my head.
"Where have you been?"
"I'm a voice Max, I don't get out much"
Whatever I thought as I scribbled down the coordinates the voice was telling me. What you don't have a voice in your head? Lucky you!!!! And if you're actually taking the time to read what I'm writing down you should have already know that.
Fang looked over my shoulder, his long dark hair brushing my neck. "New coordinates?" he said. I nodded. And then turned toward the rest of the flock.
"Okay guys I know where were going next so listen up. So game plan is we gathered needed items tonight rest up and head out tomorrow."
"Oh where we going?" Total said as he entered the room and plopped down next to Angel on the hotel bed.
"I hope it's some place warm, I mean after that last oops I mean the 2nd to last near death"
"Total your little tail boo boo scarcely counts as an injury not a near death experience!!!!" It was like a drought had just dried up my already shallow pool of patience. I was getting so fed up with this dogs little drama sessions. I wonder if Angel would be mad at me if I accidently chucked him out the balcony window.
Total gave a little huff and went on as if I hadn't spoken. "As I was saying after that blizzard Akila and I would enjoy going to somewhere, where there isn't the possibility of us freezing to death. I mean I'm open to suggestions but I would prefer some place like Florida, ohh! Or maybe the Bahamas.
I could see the bottom of my pool of patience and then I snapped. "Total, we don't get to decide where were going and you know that, we go where the world needs saving and that's that, and I hate to break it to you, but Akila can't come. I don't know about Fang and Iggy but I don't want to drag an 80 pound Alaskan malamute through the air day and night!"
Total looked shaken, and Angel massaged him behind the ears trying to calm him. I took a deep breath it would sure be nice to have someone massage my back when I was upset, I had a flashback to when Fang and I had been alone in that cave, him massaging my back in-between my wings. His lips warm on mine, I shuddered as I looked at Bridgid. Then Angel caught my view. I mentally slapped myself. Oh crap, here I am reminiscing about a make out session while my little six year old mind readers in the room. I mentally cursed myself and then stopped, what am I doing just trying to teach my lamby to have a potty mouth?
Like an angry tornado I started spinning around the room, shoving power bars and pants into backpack and cramming the zipper shut. The rest of the flock just stared mouths open. Bridgid quietly exited the room, I guess she's smarter than she looks, so it was just me and the flock.
"Are you okay?" asked Nudge cautiously.
I looked around the room at my alarmed flock. What am I doing? Trying to scare them to death. Gazzy, Angel, Nudge, Iggy and Fang. My heart gave a little pang. Get it! Fang pang. Oh what the heck, forget I said that.
"Yeah I'm fine hun, sorry just a little stressed you know I got a lot to do before we leave in the morning" I managed a half smile for her.
Then we heard the hotel door click open and my mom or Doctor Martinez to the rest of the group. Came in.
"Pizza anyone?"
Everyone pounced at the pizza's.
Finally some alone time.
"Check for bombs" I muttered. As I headed out to the balcony shutting the sliding glass door behind me. I slunk down to the floor and let the wind play with my hair for a minute taking deep breaths. I had to keep reminding myself to do so. In …. and … out …. in …. and …. out. After getting the breathing part down I started thinking. Here's what it was about.
Where we would be tomorrow? 2) Was it possible to keep Angel from reading my mind, cause it was really starting to get annoying 3) Who had sent the cyborg and ninja's after us 4) How I wanted to kill Brigid and 5) Fang Fang Fang Fang Faaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg.
Now that I was alone it was possible to think about everything I said inside and mentally and verbally curse myself now that Angel wasn't around. I really did feel bad about being harsh to Total, but on top of his usual annoyingness and his more than usual drama dogness it just wasn't practical to put up with his fanciful shenanigans. I mean does he expect me to be the one carry his girl friend around? For petes sake she's an 80 pound Alaskan malamute! Okay deep breaths. I mean I was so stressed out I had actually let the others see through the façade. I mean I was always stressed but I rarely let them see it, especially the little kids. I mean the only one that usually noticed that I was stressed out is Fang. And of course just thinking his name brought all thoughts of him up to center stage. His smiling face, his dark eyes with the little flecks of gold, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Focus Max, focus.
"You know if you told him how you felt things might be different?"
Of course when I want the voice to talk it doesn't and when I want a private moment to myself it's all ears. I groaned.
"Shut up" I muttered under my breath as I headed for the door, there was only so long I could withstand the smell of pizza.
Once I entered the hotel room I saw the flock, my mom and Brigid clustered around the makeshift dining table in the middle of the room. Gazzy with his face smothered in tomatoes sauce and Iggy next to him discussing something referring to new chemicals for stink bombs something I don't want to know about. They slapped high fives Iggy right on target like always. A little to the right Nudge, Angel, Celeste (Angels stuffed bear with wings), Total, and Akila sat munching on pizza crust. And then something right out of my worst nightmares Brigid and Fang smushed together practically on each other's lap. And then, I couldn't believe my eyes, it was like ever thing was running in slow motion. Brigid shifted her body weight slightly and started to bring her thumb up to his lip. Pause!!!!
I couldn't watch any longer, I turned on the heal of my foot and started running full force to the balcony. It was a good thing I had left the doors open or else I think I would have crashed right through them I mean there was no time to be logical. Then with a running leap I jumped head first off of the balcony. I let myself free fall for a few seconds before unfurling my wings, the wind caught in my wings and I soared up. I flew super fast, the wind wiping my hair into a tangled mess, my eyes stung as I transitioned into my hyper drive 200 miles per an hour and that's when I let the tears flow. I cried for everything and everyone, and then when the tears clouded my vision too much I found a nice dry cave, who knows where and cried some more. The tears hot and salty poured down onto my clothes, into my hair and dampened the cave floor. I cried for the flock, for Nudges wanting to be safe and loved and a star, I cried for Total and wanting to be with Akila and not being able to, and for wanting to be the Dane of whatever, I cried for Iggy for his blindness and the whole mess with his parents. I cried for other people like Ari, and how he'd never been loved and how he'd died so young, I cried for all the genetically altered creations even though most of them were trying to kill us, that were just made, used and destroyed, not even thought of as humans, but most of all I cried for myself, I cried for the stupid annoyingness the voice in my head caused, and for the current and recurring threats, but most of all I cried for my foolishness. I cried, feeling sorry for myself, beating myself up over the fact that I had lost Fang to red haired wonder Brigid because I was too scared, scared to love someone, what an idiot. I cried until my eyes were dry, my throat was hoarse, and nose was well, snotsapallooza. And as much as I hate powerful, gooey emotion and just plain crying it felt good to finally get it all out. I mean better here, than in front of the flock right? Maybe now that I had emptied all the tears out I could go back and be the strong flock leader and not have to cry for years. I could look strong so everyone else would be strong. I leaned against the damp cave wall and sniffled a little more just thinking, not wanting to go back and join the flock just yet.
Then I heard a slight noise from the mouth of the cave, and then he was there. Shit why hadn't I noticed him sooner? Why couldn't I have something cool like that, why did Fang get something as cool as getting to blend into walls? What the heck, this wasn't the time to consider the fairness of power distribution. I wiped my noise on my sleeve. I must have looked like a total wreck.
"How long?" I practically whispered.
"What?" Fang asked puzzled. But he knew what I was asking well enough, I didn't see the glint of curiosity in his eyes that he got when he didn't know something. But his eyes didn't have their usual smart alacy, set me off, don't mess with me dark look to them either. They were more softened, passionate with the little flecks of gold shining brightly shown in the shadow of his eyes reflected on the cave floor cast by the shadows of the moon.
"How long have you been standing there?" I said trying to keep my tone even.
"The whole time" he said matching his usual even tone.
Fang made his way across the cave and sat down next to me, our wings toughing each others.
"Max" he began and then stopped.
He didn't know what to say and neither did I.
"Why are you here?" I said.
"Because lets think you flew out of there like your hair was on fire, obviously something's wrong."
"Why'd you come? I thought you'd want to spend much time as possible with the red haired wonder before we leave tomorrow." I tried to put a hurtful edge on my voice but it just wasn't working right now, I mean after crying for who knows how long it was a little hard to sound tough especially in front of Fang.
He gave me a quizzical look.
"You mean Brigid" he said solemnly.
"Of course Brigid, and any way why would you care what's wrong?"
"Well I can't care if I don't know, can I" he said defiantly, so now he was gonna be the one with the snarky comments, I just couldn't take it, and I caved but only for a second, I promise.
"Everything!" and I could feel the tears coming; I pulled my knees up, bent my head down and squeezed my eyes shut.
"I mean there's so much pressure you know save the world this, save the world that, actually you wouldn't know, and it doesn't help that your all over Brigid, you know what forget that last part." Now I was angry. I could feel the tears come again, how could I be crying so much in one day, I mean there has to be some sort of limit.
Fang slipped his hand into mine. With my thumb I traced the scares and scratches that etched his palm. Then he raised our joined hands to dry the tears from my cheeks and he scooted closer, till our shoulders were touching.
I avoided eye contact with Fang, and he squeezed my palm tighter urging me to look up at him. I looked up at him and there was that look between us again, filled with understanding, passion, and love. Yes love, I'm not even going to try to deny it now, I was certain there was love in that look, no denying it.
"Max, I told you I don't like Brigid."
It was nice to hear him say it aloud, but that didn't make everything okay. If you look back in past books (which you should have already read) when I had been all messed up, with my system pumped full of drugs, I had said some things to Fang that in reality I wouldn't have wanted him to hear, them being along the lines of I love you. That had to be one of my most mortifying moments ever, but even worse Fang hadn't returned the I love you back.
"Okay then If you don't like her then why are you guys always together?, why did you want to go to the air show in New Mexico, and don't tell me it's because you wanted a burrito, unless if you want a black eye, and what were you doing when I entered the room before? Hmmmmmmm, there is obviously something there."
I was talking so fast, I was surprised he caught it all, this time I had even managed to get my usual tone back into my voice.
"Max, I told you there will always be a you and me, and there is nothing between me and Brigid, you were the one who wanted another show in the first place."
He took a deep breath.
"And if you must know I had tomato sauce on my lip, and Brigid was wiping it off."
"Using her thumb?" I asked appalled
"Weren't there any napkins, couldn't you have done it yourself!?"
"Max"
He took a deep breath to steady himself.
"Max, if you don't want me why should you care what I do with other girls, anyway if my memory serves you're the one always pushing me away, you can't have everything you want."
He practically whispered the last part. I was completely out of character. I was filled with so much gooey emotion that if I would have been having and out of body experience, I probably would be pucking my guts out at the sight of this little heartfelt conversation. Emotions churned inside, all I wanted to do was shout out I do want you I do. Talk about desperate. I mean I never would have felt this way if Fang hadn't started it all in the first place. I didn't know what to say, so I just started memorizing the patterns on the cave floor, little tears dewing in the corner of my eyes.
"I don't want to push you away, I do want you, it's just……."
"What?"
"It's just what Max?"
He looked at me patiently waiting for my answer, I couldn't believe what I had said out loud so far and what I was going to say next.
"I'm scared" I whispered.
He took his other hand and cupped my face in it tilting my head up so our eyes met.
"The great fearless Max is scared?" he said with a mocking tone to his voice.
I was so upset I couldn't even bring myself to think up a snarky comment to follow his.
"You're not scared to fight cyborg, ninja's, clones, and who knows what but you scared to"
I cut him off.
"Who said I'm not scared when I do all that stuff." I said with my usual Maxy tone.
"If you're scared to do all that but you still do it, what makes this situation any different?" his tone was mocking but his eyes said otherwise.
And then he was on me like a fly on sticky paper, or the flock on pizzas. His hands cradling my neck, pulling me closer, our wings wrapping us together, sealing us away into our own little corner of the universe. He brought his lips down about to meet mine, his breath was hot on my face, the specks of gold in his eyes sparkling.
"Don't fly away" he said.
"I won't".
Then we kissed. His lips soft on mine. Ah this had to be what heaven was like. Okay now that was cheesy.
I remembered to breath this time in and out my nose. All terror and confusion was gone between us all that was remaining was pure pleasure, bliss and love.
He pulled away for a second. One arm around my neck the other around my waist. He brought his head down to my shoulder and laid his head there for a second before raising his lips to my ear.
"I love you Maximum Ride" he whispered, and then it was back to kissing.
