If you bargain with a Cell…

Disclaimer: All DBZ characters and ideas belong to Akira Toriyama, who is a master of fighting animes. I just enjoy making them do naughty, NAUGHTY things together. Hehe. None of this ever happened in DBZ, though in GT Goku re-defeated both Cell and Frieza… GT shamed us all. Cell is STILL in Hell (H.F.I.L  lol), and so is Frieza!!

Warnings: Gay sex, 'nuff said.

Author's Notes: So, like, I had to do it. Don't like? Then, don't read it ; Anyway, enjoy. :)

~*~*~*~

"Are you sure about this?" A skeptical voice reached his ears making him glance over his shoulder yet again.

"Yes, Krillin, we need help. Besides, he's dead anyway so what's the harm?"

Krillin sighed, "Okay, Goku… but, I'll give him one chance."

"Good," Goku stopped walking momentarily, "This should be a good spot."

The others were talking amongst each other, laughing casually and such, they weren't too sure about Goku's latest plan but they would follow their leader if he was sure.

Gohan peered over the side; they had all arrived at King Enma's place about an hour ago to reveal the world's latest, but not unknown, threat: Androids. And, what better way to combat androids than with one of their own? Besides, he had to at least know the schematics of the androids and they could devise a plan for defeat together.

King Enma gave them the go-ahead, and thus, Snake Way was their destination.

Mirai Trunks was in for a visit and at a good time, he too had tagged along.

Gohan smirked, "Gotcha."

He signaled for Trunks and the others to follow him before jumping over the side to slowly ascend downwards. (1) Trunks sighed but followed willingly.

Gohan landed a few moments later, touching down on the gray-ish surface. He narrowed his eyes stepping to the side quickly in time to avoid a random ki-blast that had been sent his way.

"What the hell was that?" Trunks looked behind Gohan, frowning slightly. He was on the defensive now and carefully scanned the area around them for any signs of movement. Goku shrugged to Krillin who had joined Trunks in looking around.

Vegeta huffed, crossing his arms over his chest waltzing away moments later.

"Wait, Vegeta!" Goku followed after him, he figured Gohan could more or less handle things here… whenever he decided to make an appearance.

Gohan jumped out of the way again, flipping backwards to land on a near-by rock.

"There!" Trunks pointed to the distance.

Frieza was headed towards the trio at full speed; he had been looking behind himself stopping abruptly when he turned around.

Trunks glared when Frieza came to a halt in front of them, "What are you doing here?" The alien asked.

"Not looking for you."

Frieza laughed "Oh, really?"

Gohan jumped off of the rock, gracefully landing in front of the pair, "Might want to move." He warned.

Frieza cursed glancing over his shoulder, "…Cell."

"Oh?" Cell landed before them his pink-ish eyes roaming over them curiously, "My how you've grown, Gohan."

Gohan smirked, "Cell, harassing Frieza again?"

The android shrugged crossing his arms over his chest, "I've got nothing better to do."

The black-haired half-saiyjin walked towards Cell closing the gap between them; the android followed him with his eyes, "Enjoying Hell?"

Cell chuckled, "What do you want, Gohan?"

Gohan smirked, "I'm here to bargain."

"Of course, you always come crawling back when you need something." Cell turned on his heel slowly walking away.

Gohan took the hint and followed after him, "Wait here for my dad to come back, guys."

Trunks nodded shoo-ing Frieza away who was out of the harassment zone now, he huffed and brushed past them taking off in the direction Goku and Vegeta had wandered off to.

Krillin briefly wondered if that was a good idea, but he was sure Goku could handle Frieza if they somehow managed to meet up.

Meanwhile, Cell stopped a good distance away sure they were out of earshot of either fighters, he turned to face the half-saiyjin tilting his head to the side slightly. Cell ran his eyes over Gohan, taking in the subtle differences, noticing how much he changed in the time he had been confined in Hell.

After a while, boredom was nothing short of torture, and eventually he had passed some of his days by tormenting Frieza. He was always spouting idle threats, or bullshit about getting out of here. Right, without a body to return to Frieza could do nothing. And, on the off chance someone were able to wish Frieza back to life, Cell was almost positive they wouldn't.

So, today, while passing time he was surprised to feel un-familiar (at first) power levels lurking around. It was a mystery to him how one person fell off of Snake Way, but 5 or so?

He was even more surprised, upon realization, to learn Gohan was down for a visit. Curiosity got the better of him and he had to check it out.

"So," the android began, crossing his arms over his chest, "What is your… proposition?"

Gohan smirked, "Cutting right to chase, aren't you?" Gohan sighed running a hand though his jet-black hair, "I suppose there's no easy way to say this, but Earth needs your help."

Cell nearly laughed, "Oh?"

"We can't, at our current levels, go up against… 4 Androids. Though strong in numbers, without showing signs of weakness…
Gohan sighed, "We able to wound a few at best."

Cell narrowed his eyes, "Surely by now Goku must have raised his power level to some new stage. I can feel how strong he's gotten."

Gohan nodded, "Yes, my father is very strong. By they can match his power."

"Hm…" Cell tapped a finger against his bicep, "Who created them?"

Gohan shrugged, "We don't know."

Cell un-crossed his arms, smirking, "Couldn't have possibly been the good doctor."

Gohan frowned, "We considered that possibility, but you and I both know there are no more androids left that he created that we haven't already destroyed… with the exception of 18."

"Don't be so sure."

Gohan sighed, "Anyway, we thought you could be a good match for them."

Cell laughed, "Look around you, Gohan. I no longer have a body to return to, this is where I'll reside long after you too have died. What makes you think I can be of any help whatsoever, if Goku is no match for them?"

"Because you're an android."

Cell bit back a sigh, "Really, that is the best you could come up with? Gohan, go back to the world of the living, and fight them yourself. You defeated me; after all, you could take them on." Cell turned around making way to stalk off in the opposite direction.

Gohan bit his lip, dammit… "Wait!" Gohan grabbed Cell's wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

Cell didn't turn his head, narrowing his eyes, his magenta orbs travelled to glancing behind himself, "Please help us save Earth…"

Cell yanked his wrist free, "Why should I?"

Gohan's brow furrowed, his mind racing to come up with an answer, "Because I need you to."

"And?" Cell's ears perked up, his interest piqued again.

"And, if you help us… I'll make it more interesting."

Cell grinned, "How so?"

Gohan looked away briefly, "I will give you… my body."

Cell almost laughed out loud, how ridiculous, "You're willing to go to such lengths to save your pitiful planet?"

Gohan half-nodded.

Cell turned to face him once again, "You lie."

Gohan smirked slightly, "Am I?"

Cell analyzed the half-saiyjin for a moment before returning the smirk, "You had every intention of offering yourself to me regardless of whether I agreed to help you or not."

Gohan sighed, "What gave me away?"

Cell shrugged, "Your excuses." The android narrowed his eyes, "What makes you so curious?"

Gohan cocked a black eyebrow, "About?"

Cell gestured to himself, and Gohan nodded, "Maybe you'll just have to find out." Gohan walked past Cell, clapping him on the shoulder, "Oh," He said, turning towards the android, "Don't forget you have to help a little." Gohan smirked to himself walking away calling back to Cell, "Then you'll be hugely rewarded!" He waved behind himself approaching the two other fighters.

"Interesting." Cell examined his black nails, a small smirk gracing his features, "Very interesting."

Gohan sauntered up to the duo, glancing around for his father and Vegeta, Trunks was the first to break the ice, "Well?"

Gohan cocked an eyebrow questionably before realizing Trunks' question, "He agreed."

"Wow!" Krillin exclaimed, "That's great, how did you convince him?"

Gohan shrugged, "Maybe the prospect of leaving this place enticed him?"

Trunks nodded, "Probably. Anyway, we'd better get going."

"Shouldn't we wait for… my father and yours?" Gohan asked.

Trunks sighed, "I don't really know where they took off to." He briefly glanced around, "And, I'm getting kind of hungry."

Krillin rolled his eyes, "Of course a saiyjin would think of his stomach first."

Trunks grinned sheepishly, "I'm sure they'll catch up to us later."

Gohan slightly lifted himself off the ground, "Okay. Besides, we had better let King Enma know Cell agreed so he can make preparations to let him out of here temporarily."

Krillin and Trunks both agreed taking off for Snake Way again, when they emerged from the clouds they were surprised to see Goku and Vegeta already there waiting for them.

Goku greeted them warmly, "How did it go, son?"

Gohan landed smirking slightly, "Great, actually. He agreed after a little reluctance."

Vegeta tsked, starting back down the road, Goku grinned and followed after the Prince, "Vegeta, you owe me five zeni."

Vegeta narrowed his eyes, "Go to Hell."

"No fair!" Goku complained, "A bet is a bet."

"Fine, when we get back I'll pay you."

"Yes!" Goku jumped up excitedly.

Vegeta rolled his eyes annoyed with the saiyjin already.

Trunks sighed following after them, as did Krillin. Gohan glanced over the side of Snake Way one last time, still smirking to himself. He was quite pleased, and mildly curious to see how Cell would handle things in the end. Knowing the android had a curiosity for most things, he figured this was the best way to get at what he wanted.

He was victorious when Cell agreed, now his next problem was actually getting him alone. He had a plan, a good one. Things just had to fall into place.

After they had gotten back to King Enma's always-busy fortress, they told him Cell had agreed and he immediately put into effect Cell's temporary pass into the living world. Cell appeared before all of them un-phased by the transition out of Hell.

"Can we go now?" Vegeta asked, slightly annoyed with the whole situation.

Goku shrugged, "Yeah, I suppose."

Goku followed Vegeta back to Capsule Corp for his prize money, instead agreeing to a meal as Bulma had just started to make dinner. She was slightly skeptical about letting Cell into her home, but agreed when Gohan assured her he would try nothing lest he end up back in Hell in moments.

Gohan lounged on the sofa in the over-sized living room, glancing over to Cell who had rooted himself in a position somewhere off to the right, "You can sit down you know."

Cell's pink eyes traveled towards him as he spoke, "I am quite comfortable. Am I bothering you?"

"No," he flipped off the television, sitting up, "But maybe you'd be more comfortable on the sofa?"

Cell took the hint waltzing over, sitting gracefully.

They could faintly hear the others talking quietly in the kitchen, waiting for dinner to be served.

Gohan broke the silence first, the couch's over-stuffed cushions rustling when he moved, "Lean back," He stood briefly, only to push Cell back gently as he kneeled over the android, settling into his lap.

The android looked up at Gohan running his hands over the boys thighs coming up to rest the around his waist, "Still curious?"

"M'hm," Gohan didn't waste any time, leaning in to meld his lips against Cell's locking his dark orbs with pink ones. Cell narrowed his eyes, slowly deepening the kiss, slipping his tongue into Gohan's mouth. Gohan groaned softly, his eyes slipping closed, gliding his tongue over Cell's.

Cell loosened the blue sash around Gohan's waist, tugging at it briefly before dropping it to the floor beside them. Gohan pulled back slightly lifting his arms when Cell went for his shirts.

The orange one came off first, drifting effortlessly to the floor, then the blue weighted one was place precariously on the floor so it didn't make a resounding "thud".

Cell effortless lifted Gohan slightly off of his lap, placing him on his back on the sofa. Gohan reached up and wrapped his arms around the android's neck, pulling him into a fierce lip-lock again.

Cell took a hold of Gohan's thighs, pulling him into his lap caressing the strong leg muscles. He moved his hands up, tugging slightly at the waistband of the orange gi bottoms, one hand disappearing inside.

Gohan pulled back gasping slightly when he felt Cell's hand wrap around his aching shaft starting to pump him ever so slowly. With his free hand, Cell tugged the pants down to about mid-thigh dipping two fingers into his mouth to coat them in a fair amount of saliva. Circling one around Gohan's entrance, beginning to pump quicker.

Gohan bit his lip to refrain from moaning too loudly, the sound catching in his throat coming out as a groan instead.

Cell grinned slightly, pushing both of his fingers forward, burying them within the half-saiyjin. Gohan gasped, throwing both hands over his mouth, containing the sounds being elected from him.

Cell glanced up to Gohan who was staring at him with lust-filled eyes; the android moved his fingers a bit, getting a feel for the boy, making slight scissoring motions.

"Cell…" Gohan gasped out, clutching the back of the sofa with one hand, the other still firmly locked over his mouth.

Gohan tried to evenly control his breathing, instead it came out in short, small gasps he could feel himself getting closer with every stroke, and he knew Cell could sense it as well.

He moved his fingers ever so slightly so he brushed up against that bundle of nerves that sent more waves of pleasure coursing straight to Gohan's groin.

Gohan's hand dropped from his mouth, Cell picking up the pace of his pumping leaning over to muffle the cry that would have been had he not stepped in. He pulled back, guaranteed the half-saiyjin would keep his hand in place this time, travelling down to explore Gohan's rosy pink nipples.

Swirling his tongue around the right one first, lightly biting down satisfied when Gohan arched into him.

Gohan threw his head back, all three senses overwhelming him, he was so close…

"Guys!" A female, most likely Bulma's, voice called from the kitchen, "Time for dinner!"

Gohan's eyes flew open, glancing to the entrance into the living room briefly, quickly finding his voice, "Be right there!" He replied, thankful his voice didn't hint at what they were doing.

Cell's hand had since stopped moving, hovering over Gohan's throbbing member. He gently withdrew his fingers, continuing his exploration of the hard chest muscles. Cell briefly shot Gohan a glance before quietly saying, "You had better take care of that quickly."

Gohan smirked, "Or, you can finish."

The android coerced Gohan into a sitting position on the sofa, getting up to kneel in between Gohan's legs. Cell pushed his legs further apart, pumping him a few times before bending his head down. Cell experimentally licked the tip, taking the hint when Gohan gasped.

"Just…take it in…and I'll tell you when I'm about to come."

Cell made a noise in reply, ignoring him just about. Cell took Gohan's length into his mouth. It didn't take long for Cell to set a rhythm, bobbing up and down at a relatively fast pace. Gohan once again had returned to covering his mouth, his head thrown back against the high cushions.

Cell used his tongue every now and again, swirling it around the tip or the underside. His hand played with Gohan's balls, cupping them in his hand, travelling up to pump and suck at the same time. "Oh god…" Gohan bit his lip, "Cell… I'm gonna come," he gasped out.

Cell "M'hm"-ed briefly, bobbing a few more time before Gohan released his essence into his mouth. The android was surprisingly good about swallowing (2) taking down almost everything, just barely missing a few drops, which he got with his tongue moments later.

Gohan panted heavily on the sofa, following Cell with his eyes when he stood abruptly. Leaning over him Cell grabbed Gohan's chin, melding their lips together sharing Gohan's taste with him. Just as quickly as he had come, Cell pulled back, gracefully grabbing Gohan's shirts from the floor.

Gohan lazily got up, correcting his pants first, taking the blue then orange shirt from Cell slipping them both effortlessly over his head.

Cell came up behind Gohan, slipping the sash over his head, pulling it back towards himself once it was settled around the saiyjin's waist. Cell leaned down as he was tying the sash, nipping lightly at Gohan's neck, pulling the sash tightly retreating back a few feet. Gohan turned to face him, magenta eyes meeting coal-colored ones.

Cell narrowed his eyes slightly, turning to gracefully head into the kitchen, he wasn't particularly hungry. Not that he ate a whole lot while in Hell, dead people usually tended to cut back on the food seeing as they really had no use for it.

Goku greeted him, who he barely acknowledged taking a seat at the overly crowded table Gohan wandering in moments later plopping down in the seat next to him. Gohan glanced over at Cell from the corner of his eyes, grinning. Cell merely rolled his eyes.

Things certainly were getting interesting; he could only guess what the young half-saiyjin had in mind next.

~*~*~*~*~

"Guys, I'm hungry." Goku announced for the millionth time.

Vegeta rolled his eyes, "We know, just shut up and be patient like everyone else."

Goku laughed, "You're in an awfully bad mood, Vegeta."

The prince leered at him, narrowing his eyes slightly, "Just shut up."

Goku nearly rolled his eyes but complied with Vegeta's request, instead listening to Trunks and Krillin laugh about when Trunks had first appeared in their timeline.

Vegeta glanced over to Goku minutes later, a large smirk gracing his features. Goku blinked a moment, his ears perking up, slowly turning his head to face Vegeta. Goku's eyes widened slightly, "Is that…"

Vegeta crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in his seat, he lowered his voice slightly, "Your boy is awfully daring."

Goku grinned, "Hm… what about Cell? He's probably bored."

Vegeta huffed, "Hardly." He glanced behind himself, "Now, things get interesting." He could see Bulma approach the table, "Are they still in the other room?"

Vegeta half-nodded, "Better tell them dinner is ready."

Bulma smiled, "Good idea."

Goku quickly turned to Vegeta, "What?" He hissed, "You heard them, right?"

Vegeta shrugged, "But the others didn't."

"So?" Goku stood, "Bulma, why don't you call to them, they're probably talking about something important. You know how Gohan gets when he's serious about something."

Bulma stopped, "Good idea," before calling into the other room.

Vegeta smirked, "Good call, Kakarotto." (3)

Goku shrugged, "Wouldn't want them to be caught, would you?"

"I'm sure they would have thought of…. Something in time." Vegeta stood from the table, pushing his chair back.

Trunks thanked his mom when she finished placing the food, looking to his dad, "Father, where are you going?"

Vegeta barely glanced behind him, "Out."

Goku smirked when Cell, immediately followed by Gohan, took a seat at the table half-eying the food. He pushed his plate away giving it a disgusted look decided to instead brood where he sat.

After dinner, Goku stretched smiling at everyone, "Man, that was a good meal." He abruptly stood grinning, "I think I'll go look for Vegeta. Maybe get a good spar out of him."

Goku smirked to himself and silently added, "Little does he know I have more in mind than a spar."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Which is a complete oxy-moron, how do you ascend downwards? Like you're going up, maybe upside-down, lol.

(1) I lol'd, He must drink a lot of 'milk' heh.

(2) Which spelling would you prefer, the English: Kakerot, or Japanese: Kakarotto?

(3) Also, I'm chosing to spell "Saiyin" "Saiyajin" without the hyphen "Saiya-jin". I'm just too lazy to add the hypehn, and I'll admit it looks a little strange, lol.

Author's Notes (cont):

So, I got this idea randomly one day as I was lying in bed. I was texting my sister, and Dragonball Z happened to come up as a subject. I was listening yaoi pairings I liked, for instance: Vegeta/Goku, Trunks/Gohan, Trunks/Goten, ect…, and I thought for a second, paused, and said, "My god, do you know what would be a hot pairing?" I sent it and waiting for a reply, "No, what?" I grinned to myself, I was pretty sure I was going to get an "ew" or worse back, "Gohan and Cell." She sent a ttext back seconds later, and it was: "…, that is kind of…. Would Cell have a dick? I mean,it's just… a plate thing there." "Uh… yes, yes he would. It's BEHIND that. It's like a cup, he doesn't wanna get his cock smashed in by a foot while fighting. So, YES HE DOES. How else would he do Gohan? Finger's and his tongue? Not gonna cut it." She said he could use his tail, and I kind of cringed, and almost threw up. Just thinking of it…. NO THANK YOU. Anyway, let me know what you think :D