Love poetry from my young (and foolish) yesteryears (since edited for spelling and grammar) with accompanying notes from my squire, Alan, since revealed as Alanna of Trebond, now of Pirate's Swoop and Olau.


"O, fair maiden, how is it that your eyes,
gleam so green, the brightest of dyes.
More emerald than the grass;
than the jaded envies of the mass.

Your chestnut locks of curls,
put to shame the other girls.
At night I dream of your tresses,
perched above your lovely dresses.

Of your rubied lips - so red,
not enough can ever be said.
Like pomegranates ripe to the touch
one kiss would be too much.

When we sit in the palace gardens,
my heart soars to the heavens.
While yours heaves in your breast,
leaving my soul in great unrest.

Never shall we part,
this is but the start.
Of a love, of a journey so great -
written in the stars, 'tis surely fate."

JONATHAN, not only is this horrible (I was unable to keep lunch down -- a perfect waste of chicken stew) but your spelling is appalling. I might have to report you to Master Oakbridge on principle. If you bring tears to Lady Eldorne's eyes, it will either be because she's crying from laughing AT YOU or else because of the great insult that you have brought upon her. Court ladies are a delicate species you fool. But see if I care, copy and sign it with love. Your disgusted squire, Alan.

P.S. If you wish to retain any shred of dignity, do not show her the drawings!!!

They aren't that bad, are they? I especially like the one of her as a metaphor for the city.

Is that what that was? I thought she looked particularly like our heifer back at Trebond, in that one. I miss Bessie. One word for you, Your Highness: MOOOOOOOO!!!


Yes, dear reader, The Lioness's cruel words still pain me to this day. She may, however, have had a point. Delia, if you find yourself reading this, all I have to say to you is that it was most certainly the subject matter and not my artistry that was lacking. "MOOOOO!"