I am out of my body right now. The biggest race of my life to date and I blew it big time. This was no ordinary crash; this is going to be what makes or breaks me. I can see myself and I am banged up so bad that I'm kind of glad I'm not in it. I see the paramedics coming to get me and they are asking me if I'm in pain. I can thankfully say no. You can't feel pain when you're dead, I know I'm not alive right now. If I stay this way, I don't know.
My focus shifts from myself to my father, mother and sister. My poor family, I didn't give them much thought until now. My poor sweet mother, she's running down the bleachers just to try to reach me. As she reaches the bottom, I wrap my arms around her. I know she feels me because she actually stops to catch her breath.
It's okay, Mom, I'll be okay. Slow down.
I give her a quick cheek kiss before she's running off again trying to see her son that's not even in his shell of a body right now. I try to reach dad and Cindy but they are too worried about me and mom too that they don't let anything else in. I can feel their souls.
I love you, Dad and Cindy. Just focus and I know you'll find me here with you guys.
The ambulance drives off with my body without mom getting a chance to see me. My dad is crying out wondering where they are bringing me. Cindy just stands there with a total shell shock look on her face. I feel so bad for them that they are hurting over me. I'm okay though. They don't understand that but I guess they won't until they are here themselves.
The sound of a dog barking snaps me out of my thoughts. I'd know that bark anywhere; it's Tiger! I am so overjoyed to see him and he feels the same way about me. He leaps into my open arms and we embrace. He begins to lick my face as I pet his forhead.
"Bobby," said a gentle woman with a sort of commanding tone. " Look at me."
Mama! Oh my God, it's mama! Tiger runs along with me as we go to her. She envelopes me in her arms while I cry tears of happiness into her shoulder sleeve. I notice she's wearing the same dress we buried her in all those years ago. It was her favorite yellow summer dress with short sleeves. It reminds me of that conversation Dad had with Alice before her funeral about how he didn't want her buried in black. That dress made her happy and that's how he wanted us boys to remember her by. Her happiness, not her pain. Great call on his part.
"I've waited so long for this," I say not letting go of her.
"I've waited for you,too," she takes my face in her hands and makes me look at her in the eyes.
"Listen to me, you aren't staying with me this time. I know you want to," she adds probably sensing my disappiontment. I didn't want to leave her again. "You still have time on this Earth because even though you will have obstacles to overcome, you are going to be the strongest right now."
"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.
"You will be weak in the body for a while but you will be strong in spirit. You will be strong for your family because their strength is going to rely on you. You can do it, Bobby, you have to do it and I know you can do it."
She kisses me one last time and my state of peace is all over before I know it. I went from talking to my mother on a sunny racetrack to a dark hospital room with a bunch of doctors I've never seen before hovering over me. I am frightened now. I just have to think of mama and I'll be okay. What was she saying to me before we parted? What about my body? What about being strong? What about my family? Maybe it was just a dream and shouldn't pay any attention to it. It was my mother though and I should be paying attention to her. She didn't really come to me like that before...
"Bobby," I hear a familiar voice say. "It's Greg. Are you okay?"
"Greg," I smile at that big brother voice.
"Can you open your eyes?"
"Yes," I say opening them to get a good look at him. I can't help but smile a little bigger. It's great to see him.
"You'll be okay, okay?" He says nervous. Why's he nervous. I'm fine, if anyone should be freaking out, you'd figure it would be me.
"I am okay."
