A/N- I do NOT own Star Trek or any of its characters. No copyright intended.
This is highly illogical. Why would Jim want me to attend this kind of event? I really don't see any value in the
"New Year's party," as they call it. Jim said it would be a good idea to "see the old gang," as he put it. I don't see the
reason for such importance attached to this event. The term "New Year" means that the Earth has completed a full
revolution around the sun and is beginning a new revolution. I don't see the point in celebrating it, but after taking in the
view around me I see it's just an excuse for homo sapiens to consume excessive amounts of alcohol, dance to extremely
loud music, watch a circular object descend from an architectural structure in New York City, and do things they will
probably have a 62.8% chance of ruing in the morning. The whole thing is highly illogical. I've never seen this much
debauchery in one place in my life. Also, now that I've observed my surroundings, it appears that I've lost the Captain.
Now, according to my calculation I have a 92.5% chance of finding him at the bar. There is a 62.3% chance that he is
trying to get a female to "hook up" with him, as he puts it. Then there is a 48.9% chance that will have to take him home
unconscious tonight at the end of this social gathering.
This "New Year's" party is one of the most absurd events I have events I've ever experienced in the duration
of my life. The high volume music and screaming is traumatizing my eardrums. The putrid odor of alcohol is permeating
the air and the woman that Jim is trying to "hook up" with was refusing his offer. At this time it is currently 11:36 PM,
Pacific Standard Earth Time and this celebration is getting even more berserk. There was a couple in the corner of the
room expressing their affection for each other in the most improper way. The dissolute activities going on at the New
Year's party was getting completely out of hand. After a while of standing at the edge of the nightclub trying to evade the
deranged activities of the party, I decided to go find Jim. My calculations were correct when I found him vainly still trying
to "hook up" with a woman. By this point, it was 11:59 PM Pacific Standard Earth Time. The guests were staring to count
down from ten. The discordant chant polluted the air and harshly penetrated my eardrums. When the screaming mass
reached the number one, they all started acting haywire. There were a plethora of activities going on at this scene: there
was screaming, innumerable displays of affection, but mostly overindulgence in alcohol. After the recklessness dissipated,
I began to look for Jim again. After exactly 9.83 minutes of searching, I found him in the far left corner of the bar. He was
so incredibly intoxicated he was barely able to remain conscious. I had to escort him out of the club into the hover car.
Then I promptly took him to his apartment. When he got inside he immediately fell unconscious on the sofa. Then I
proceeded to my own apartment. That night I promised myself that I would never go to another New Year's party again.
