Summary: He knew that if he decided on what felt right rather than what was necessary then he would destroy and shatter both his and Naruto's worlds. What he was about to do would be for Naruto's happiness.
Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
Pairings: KakaNaru
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
"N-Naruto..."
The jounin gasped, tightening his grip on the beautiful young boy sprawled out beneath him as his hips jerked one last time, spilling his seed deep within the blissfully tight heat of his lover.
He only just managed to stop himself from collapsing completely atop the young boy - who was panting heavily, only just descending from his own orgasm induced high.
Silver hair brushed against a whiskered cheek as the older of the two leant over and nuzzled the blond's sensitive neck with a feral growl, possessively inhaling his scent like it would be the last time. Mine. Kakashi nipped lightly at the tender flesh, eliciting a moan from his student. Oh how he wished he could mark his own territory. That's what the boy was...his territory and no one else's. Only Kakashi's. As he liked to believe at least for a little while...but as much as he wished he could mark and claim this boy as his own so that everyone would know. Know that the blonde was owned by him, he couldn't. Not unless he never wished to see the kid again.
"Sensei?"
Kakashi didn't lift his head at the questioning tone, instead he carried on with his ministrations, humming to let his lover know he'd been acknowledged.
There was a hesitant pause, filling the atmosphere around them with something heavy, something unsaid. Frowning, Kakashi lifted his head up to look the boy in the eyes; his amazing sky blue eyes that sparkled even within the limited light of the small room. His young kitsune blushed and shifted his gaze at the intensity of the look that the man was directing at him, and only him. Like Naruto was the only thing that existed in this time and space, like Naruto was Kakashi's world. And Naruto was Kakashi's world. Is his world.
The duos bodies shuddered against each other as the silver haired man closed his eyes and pulled out of the blonde, his own semen leaking onto the bed sheets beneath Naruto. Sighing, he shifted his weight so that he could cup the boys face lightly, coaxing him to look Kakashi in the eyes instead of over his shoulder.
"I love you Naruto."
The breath caught in Naruto's chest at the simple confession.
"I love you too sensei..." The blonde sighed heavily, contemplating whether he should say the rest of what was on his mind.
Kakashi seemed to sense Naruto's internal struggle, so he waited patiently for the blonde to spill what was troubling him. After what seemed like an eternity he shifted his body against the one pinned beneath him, reminding his student that he was in fact still here, never averting his gaze away from the younger of the two.
Naruto snapped his eyes back to Kakashi's, once again dragged back to reality. Focusing on a mismatched pair of orbs.
"It's just that...well whenever we do this...it's like..." He grimaced, trying to put what he thought into words. He was never good with words. "It's like it's the last time, you always act like it'll be the last time between us...I just, it kinda worries me y'know? That you'll leave, that you're thinking of leaving me and I don't want you to leave me, I could never live without you, not after everything...I just..." The blond could feel the familiar sting of tears pricking at his eyes. "I could never go back to how it was, before all of this...and sometimes I think that that's what you want, that you're contemplating it every time we're together. I'd understand why you would, I mean I could completely understand because I'm your student, my age, becau-"
The blond's rambling was cut off by a pair of soft lips against his own. He couldn't help but sigh at the blissful contact, visibly relaxing his previously stiff posture against the well known Copy ninja; his own sensei...his lover.
Kakashi ended the kiss first, leaning back far enough to once again look at the boy. He wished so much that things could just be left as they were. That things could be different. That the two of them could just be. Be left to live their life together, to be accepted, which he knew was not a possibility. Kakashi wished for so much, but there was no point in wishing - in daydreaming, because things would never be the same again. He knew, and he knew that if he decided on what felt right rather than what was necessary then he would destroy and shatter both his and Naruto's worlds. What he was about to do would be for Naruto's happiness, for his student to move on with his life like none of this had ever happened. And it would truly break what was left of Kakashi's heart. Naruto was the last ray of sunshine left in his life and he was sure he was going to lose it. He was certain.
"Naruto, you need to know that I'll always love you, no matter what happens between us, no matter what situation we find each other in in the future. I will always love you and no amount of anything will ever change that."
He wiped at the tears streaming down Naruto's cheeks before shutting his eyes and pressing his forehead against the boys. Neither spoke for what felt like an eternity, just enjoying each others company and for Kakashi, reveling in the intimacy of what would be the last time with the person that was most precious to him.
Finally they broke apart when Kakashi felt he was ready to do what would be the biggest regret of his lifetime. Pulling back, he met Naruto's eyes for the last time as lovers and reluctantly activated his sharingan. Before the blond knew what had hit him, he passed out and slumped almost lifelessly back onto the mattress.
Kakashi fought back the tears that threatened to spill as he looked at his student. That was all Naruto would be now...just his student. He had wiped all of the boys memories, locked them up securely somewhere deep within the recesses of his mind, of what used to be between them. Not a single intimate memory would be left, the only person who would ever know their history would be Kakashi. And he was right; it truly did shatter his heart into a million pieces.
