T.R.: ...(is in denial while buring the 'script formatted' version of this fic.) What script format? I-I don't see any script... This? Oh, it's only homework...
The Great Excel Senate Debate Thingy
by: T.R. Fanatic
Oh, it's that thing with the Disclaimer and the I-don't-own-Excel-Saga-or-the-characters stuff like that...
...Moving on.
We interrupt this broadcast of Lost Desperate Housewives in the City to bring you a pointless meeting.
We now go live inside Excel's mind. As you can see (?), it looks like the Senate Floor, but every Senator is an Excel... Which is just creepy.
Excel # 1 banged the gavel to get the other Excels' attention (not that it mattered). "Alright, listen up!" she ordered. "We have a new assignment from the head Excel herself!"
"Excel Excel?" Excel # 77 asked.
"That's right!"
Excel # 12 asked, "Who's that?"
"She sounds scary!" Excel # 90 remarked.
"I'm hungry!" Excel # 45 whimpered, her tummy growling.
Excel # 1 banged the gavel again. "Shut up, # 45!" she ordered as a screen came down behind her showing a picture of a strange silver gun. "Our objective today is to figure out from whom this powerful weapon belongs to. Since I am the only SANE Excel here, I must say that this weapon came from Mars and will bring about death and destruction to the entire city if we're not careful!"
"YEAH!" cheered # 38. "Total obliteration!"
"Now, I will open the floor to any Excel that wishes to speak." # 1 added.
# 7 quickly shot her hand in the air.
"Your thoughts, # 7?"
"I like Pocky!" replied # 7.
"I'm hungry!" whimpered # 45 again.
"You're outta line, # 45!" # 60 barked.
"No, you are!" # 2 belted to #60 before breaking out into a fist fight.
"HAIL ILPALAZZO!" cheered # 37.
"It's not time yet!" replied # 10.
The camera randomly pans to Excel # 41, who is singing a really bad and off-key version of 'Reckless Fire.' 1
"The great Excel # 13 has a plan!" cheered the cursed Excel.
"Really?" # 1 asked.
"I, Excel # 13, will take up a hobby of collecting forks, travel to the Manor and take up assassination training from a mother-like priestess in which I'll come back as a cold-blooded maiden of the Soldats with a very bad sense and taste for fashion!" 2
"I told you not to tell her, Kirika." Excel # 12 muttered. 2
"Shut up, Mireille!" Kirika (a.k.a. Excel # 14) barked before she and # 12 (a.k.a. Mireille) broke out into a gun battle... While #13 stared intently at a fork she found. 2
The camera pans off again... now looking at Excel # 25, playing with an electronic handheld game. "I'm gonna win this time..." she hissed. "I'm gonna... YES! High score!"
The camera shifts and goes to Excel # 44 who watches intently at a cooking show on a portable TV. "YEAAAH!" she cheered. "Take that, you delicious, edible mutt! BAM!"
"Excel," the Excel next door called to # 1. "Excel is taunting Excel. And Excel is hungry!"
The camera then goes off and flims Excel # 83 as she reads a romance novel starring her and... well, Ilpalazzo, of course.
The camera jumps over to Excel # 67 who is scribbling on a piece of paper while singing: "SHADE, SHADE, SHADE! WE LOVE TO SHAAAADE!"
The singing was quickly drowned out by Excel # 26's loud snoring.
At a distance, we see Excel # 50 sitting cross-legged, meditating. "ACROSS will rule the city..." she whispered. "Total conquest... Absolute control..."
The camera moves to the lifeless chair belonging to Excel # 101. In her place, the wooden mannequin holds a sign: "On Vacation, back later."
...While a labcoat-clad Excel # 98 levels off different fluids in different beakers "I wonder," she muttered. "through the power of precise scientific calculations, perfect chemistry, human transmutations through alchemy (3)and a variety of ninjitsu spells (4), if I would be able to clone myself?"
The watch on Excel # 100's wrist rings, signaling only one thing... "LUNCH BREAK!"
"LUNCH BREAK?" The other 99 Excels asked before exploding into cheers.
"I'm hungry!" # 45 stated.
We now take you live to Excel's room.
Where we find Excel (Excel Excel, that is.) deep in thought. Could that mean that this weapon is from... ACROSS? she thought. "Excel analysis is complete!" 5
"Arrrr..." whimpered Menchi. (Translation: Took ya long enough!)
"A vote of 99 brain cells against one say this is a secret weapon made by ACROSS!"
"Arr arrooo..." (Translation: Oh, brother...)
Fanfiction (insert random number here): The Great Excel Senate Debate Thingy
Today's Experiment...
Crap, it's a deadlock! 50 brain cells against another 50. We'll get back to you, okay?
Footnotes, or Other DISCLAIMERS That should be mentioned! 1. The Opening Song 'Reckless Fire,' belongs to S-cry-ed... I don't own it! 2. All the main characters that belong to my favorite show: Noir... But, I don't own them. 3. and 4. Fullmetal Alchemist and Naruto... I do not own either of them! 5. Random footnote: insert words here! And... I don't own that, either! ...Wait, do I?
T.R.: And that's the second fic I wrote in a day. If you've read "Why Did Excel Cross the Road?" that was the first one. Now, my mind has officially warped!
