Author's note- This was really powerful to me for some reason... Anyway, who says a stoic bastard can't have humanly thoughts deep inside, and try to deny them (in vain) by showing no emotion? First fanfiction of '08. Happy New Year's day, people; please review.


Home Free

Here I stand, feet implanted upon the ground like roots of a tree, immobile; unwilling. And there you are, your feet twitching with anxiety, ready to dart through to the portal. You don't have to tell me. No; I can see it in your eyes, hear it in your heartbeat, smell it in your reiatsu. The exit is five paces before you and forty paces before me; I won't be able to catch you if you run -- so why won't you move?

This is what you've been waiting for, isn't it?

When you sensed my reiatsu in the air, you froze, jeopardizing the only chance you had at freedom. Why won't you save me the passion -- save me the unjustifiable jolt in my soul? Foolish bitch; for you, I have betrayed Aizen-sama -- I won't hesitate to kill you now, to ensure my loyalty once and for all to him.

We both know I will. I'll initiate sonido -- catch up with you, thrust my hand through your bosom, and dig its way through your back, issuing a burst of bloodstained flesh, bone, and muscle. You'll fall to the ground, eyes rolled back into your head, and I will drag your lifeless corpse with me into the pits of Hell.

It would be all too easy to slice your head off with my bare hands, too easy to snatch the flowing hair off your head and thrust it down your throat.

So, improvident human, why won't you fucking move? Get the fuck out of here.

"Ulquiorra-san. Aren't you going to... stop me?" She is whispering so inaudibly that it is a miracle -- no, a curse, a damnation of the Bastard who created me -- that I can understand her. She is still facing away from me; all I see is her back and the golden-brown curtains of silk extending from her scalp. Perfect. This means there is still hope of eradicating her existence just as Aizen-sama wanted. "I thought you came to kill me… like you told me you would if you ever caught me betraying Aizen-san?"

All I desire is to tell you, human, that I apologize. But I can't do that -- that would be betraying Aizen-sama and the purpose of my entire existence. It would betray the illusion. There is a chance, however, that if I lay it out carefully, you will get the message. I shall test your wits; comprehend.

Please.

"Ya se engañaba. He has already been betrayed, woman. That's why they want you dead. Because of your recklessness, the recklessness of a human, the death of the world impends. And upon creating that imminent extinction, Aizen-sama will --"

She's turning around. What the hell does she think she's doing, pivoting towards her undoing? "Upon creating that imminent extinction, Aizen- sama will… " I won't look at her. I won't look at her. Iwontlookather. "Upon creating that…" Fuck. All I desire is to claw viciously at my pupils, avoid gazing at the mahogany pearls in her eyes. "Upon…"

I must finish. "Upon creating that imminent extinction --" I shut my eyes so I don't have to glimpse her face. Perhaps if I keep my eyes half-lidded, intensify the grimace on my face, and pretend to be tired, indifferent, it will appear as though I'm shutting them for a different reason. Another illusion.

"Please… Ulquiorra-san -- I never wanted things to end up like this... Why- Why won't you look at me?"

I know the look you're giving me. I know the look you're giving me, and I don't want to see it, nor do I want it etched into my memory for the remainder of my days on this land. On this physically tangible manifestation of Hell.

I hear words, barely above a whisper. "I guess this is it, right?" I know you're moving toward me.

"Be aware you are walking toward an embodiment of sin. Walking toward your death."

More footsteps. "I- I don't… see any sin in there." You're reiatsu is overpowering mine; for the life of me, all I want is to be able to shove you, a repulsive piece of trash, into my dwelling. Let you live the life I live. Let your angelic wings be stabbed by the horns of the devil. You wouldn't be such a goddamn diamond then, now would you?

"Fool. I am Satan."

My eyes snap open, and with a surge of hate my hand shoots forward and grabs your neck -- but I can only grip it loosely. And just as quickly, I release it; let it fall to my side.

Why are your eyes smiling at me? The silver moonlight is throwing godly luminescence at your right side, and only delicately grazing over your left. I see nothing but a goddess before me, and I don't even have to look in your eyes to know that you didn't even listen to what I said; you heard me, but didn't listen.

"Thank you, Ulquiorra-san. Thanks to you, I'm --" She's smiling now. "-- home free." She pivots on her heel, and again has her back facing me. Before she starts walking back to the portal, she breathes: "I- I've always thought… you should dry up those green streaks -- the one's… that extend past the bottoms of your eyes and down your cheeks… They -- make it look as though you're always crying."

"For once, you're exactly correct," I breathe back, too quietly for you to hear. "I am."

I want to tell you what I meant by that. I want to yell after you, sprint to your side, throw a cero at you, do anything to let your know what I meant by that. Human -- no, woman -- no, Inoue -- can't you hear my reiatsu calling out? It's howling at the moon, howling in pain, suffering… And again, all I see is your back. Moving farther away from my silent howl, becoming tinier and tinier into the distance as you near that godforsaken portal.

Stop. Stop walking. Wait. I would do anything to run after you, leave with you… Tell me you can hear my howl -- tell me you are listening to it… Tell me you know what I want to say, without having to say it; tell me what I want to hear. Tell me you know what my reiatsu is howling, even though I can't open my mouth and tell you myself. Tell me now -- before anyone finds us here. Say it. Say it --

Inoue Orihime...

She stops -- one foot in the portal, one foot out -- turns her head a little until she can see me, and opens her mouth. "I won't say it." And she vanishes, but the echo of her last words still remains in the air. "I won't say it, because you already know: you're home free too."