Disclaimer: Don't own Supernatural; all characters belong to their rightful owners
Second installment to Mary's Return
Mary looked out the window at the passing scenery. Well, if you counted asphalt and corn as scenery. Dean was in the backseat with Sam while Castiel drove. The moment Dean had gotten Sam out of that house he had Castiel heal Sam's wounds and then made the angel drive them back to the Bunker. Mary had wanted to sit in the back with her boys but there hadn't been much space.
"Take us home, Cas," home. Mary remembered when she had woken up in that graveyard, lost, scared, and worried about her two little boys. After attacking Dean and finding out he was her four-year-old little boy, Dean 'borrowed' a car and was excitedly telling her about going home to a Bunker where Sam was at.
At the time Mary hadn't really thought much about Dean being so excited about living in a bunker, of all things, she had been too anxious to see Sam. It wasn't until after the shock of finding out that Sam had been kidnapped and meeting Castiel, an actual angel, did it hit Mary how excited and proud Dean seemed to have the Bunker or the Bat cave as he so fondly seemed to have nicknamed it, as an actual permanent home.
Mary had kept her mouth shut though and still did. Obviously, Dean viewed the Bunker as his and Sam's home…As Mary's home now. Mary couldn't; home had been a white house in Lawerence, Kansas where there was the laughter of a little toddler and gurgles and cries of a small infant. Where there were sounds of John's loud voice as he regaled her stories of the wacky customers that had shown up at the shop. Where there was a small family just starting and the warmth of love surrounded her. It hadn't been perfect but it had been her home.
The bunker, though, had been a cold, windowless, hole in the middle of Kansas with a plant on top of it and surrounded by trees instead of other houses. There were no neighbors greetings of neighbors in the morning, in fact, Dean had proudly told her that no one bothered them because no one could find them. It saddened Mary to think that a cold bunker had become her boys permanent home.
Mary heard a whimper in the backseat and couldn't help but turn. Sam was asleep in apparently in the grips of a nightmare. Mary wished there was something she could do but she was a stranger to her younger son.
"Shh, Sammy," Dean whispered softly, so softly Mary almost didn't hear him, "It's okay, your out, nothing will hurt you now. Settle down, baby brother, big brother's got you."
Sam quickly quieted in his older brother's arms that were rocking him. Again, Mary felt like she was intruding on something private. There was silence for the rest of the ride to the Bunker.
Dean was a huge mother hen. Since the moment they had entered the Bunker he had not let Sam out of his sights. He fussed and fluffed pillows and asked Sam if he was okay and fluffed pillows again. It would be funny if Mary didn't feel like such an outsider once again. Taking care of Sam should be her job. She shouldn't have to watch her eldest take care of her youngest, not while she was around but she didn't know how to.
Instead of taking care of both her boys she stood there awkwardly as Dean took care of his little brother. Finally, after much mother-henning, Dean, after his younger brother's insistence, let Sam sleep peacefully. Mary watched as Dean stroked Sammy's hair as he fell asleep and Mary could tell that Sam enjoyed his brother's administrations.
"Dean, maybe you should sleep, too, you're swaying on your feet."
Dean waved a hand dismissively, "I'll catch some shut eye later, I'll stay here awhile longer, you know, to make sure Sammy's okay."
"I could stay and look after him."
"It's fine mom, you need your rest, too. I'll look after Sam, it's no trouble, really."
Mary hesitated for a moment, "If you're sure…"
"I am. You can sleep in my room if you want. I'm probably not even going to set foot in that place anytime soon," he said absentmindedly.
Mary stared for a few moments longer before going to Dean's room. She opened the door tentatively and looked around. Dean's room was tidy but what she truly saw were the weapons lining the walls. Mary could tell they were well taken care of and it saddened her. Dean should not have grown up using weapons and then taking care of them lovingly as she could tell those were. She wished she had been around for her boys but now they were men and she didn't now her place in their lives anymore.
She sat down on the bed and saw a picture of herself and Dean when he was young. She smiled sadly remembering the day she took that picture. She had missed out so much. She laid down and stared at the ceiling. The boys obviously thought of the Bunker as their home but for Mary home had been destroyed a long time ago.
