Hey, everyone! I wrote this to my darling Kyra as a Valentine's Day gift. It's longer than both of my other SLOTAT fics, so I hope you like. =D And as always, please review.
Disclaimer: Puh-lease! If I owned SLOTAT, Ben would have been had an unfortunate accident before the first episode ended. (Yes, I am a Ben hater. Judge me as you will.)
Spoilers: I'd say up to Chocolate Cake to be safe.
Press Send
One-Shot
Amy exhaled slowly as she lowered herself into her desk chair, wishing too late that she'd grabbed a pillow for her back. It always seemed to be hurting now as her due date grew closer. She glanced at the calendar hanging on her wall, the pictured kittens now seeming much too innocent for her. February twenty-second stared back at her, the date marked in red permanent marker. Her due date, the day—if all went as scheduled—her son would come into the world.
She bit her lip as she felt the baby kick, rubbing her stomach and leaning her head back as she thought of the June night that got her into this mess.
She'd noticed Ricky at the first night bash, hanging out with some of the other drummers. He'd been laughing, drumming on an upturned garbage can while another drummer—Barry, she thought his name was—danced with the beat. They'd had a small crowd around them, campers and counselors alike and out of those twenty-odd viewers they'd been the ones to catch eyes when he looked up. She remembered blushing, remembered spinning and running to catch up with Sarah and Zoey, two other girls in her cabin.
She hadn't seen Ricky again until they were on free time two days later. They'd been with their own groups, hanging out at the docks by the lake. She'd been wearing the new tankini she'd bought with her mom before she left; brown with a gold sun on the bottom right of the top, ties in the back, and brown and white beads on the halter straps. She loved that bathing suit. Barry and Sarah had started flirting and, trying to impress Sarah, Barry had started dancing. She'd leaned back to avoid his arm as he swung out and lost her footing, falling into the lake. Ricky had given her a hand out when she came sputtering back up to the surface. He'd given her his towel.
She remembered the walk, the sun beating down as they'd walked barefoot down the path, both long since given up on their rubber flip flops. It had been hot that day, nearing a hundred and if she tried, she could still feel the feeling of the sun on her skin, could still smell the scent of pine from the trees that lined the path.
They hadn't really talked about anything. She'd remembered hearing he went to Grant High too, remembered the rumors she'd heard about him. She hadn't believed the rumors; he seemed too nice to be the womanizing jerk the rumors made him out to be. She had asked him about the school, asked him what their band teacher was like. She'd laughed when he told her how her feet would swell to half their size by the end of the first week.
They'd been walking an hour when she asked him for coffee, probably not the best idea considering the heat and that both of them had been a little dehydrated as it was. He hadn't mentioned it though, just smiled and told her he'd show her the best spot on the camp. He'd snuck them into the counselors' lounge…well, not snuck exactly. They weren't supposed to be there, but he was apparently friendly with Sandra, one of the older counselors. She looked a bit like Mimzy now that she thought of it. Sandra had smiled at them, rolling her eyes with a laugh when Ricky made a beeline for the coffeepot.
"All that coffee isn't healthy, Ricky. You're going to make yourself sick."
"I'll make myself sick. All this coffee is sucking the water from my muscles. It's going to ruin my smile. I know, Sandra. You told me this all last summer," Ricky turned to her, flashing his teeth in a smile, "What do you think, Amy? My smile okay?"
She giggled softly, eyes still closed at the memory. Sandra had thrown a pen at Ricky seconds after his question. Ricky had been different then, more carefree, fun. He smiled more. He'd been a good friend…a good…
Ricky had taken her back into the woods after they'd made their coffees and showed her this small clearing not far off the path. Tall trees, branches keeping the spot almost completely shaded. It had been a nice change from the blistering heat and they'd sat on a rock, shoulder to shoulder, sipping their drinks between conversations. He'd been grumbling as she laughed, telling her it wasn't funny, that he'd been dragged by six foster siblings under the age of ten to see "The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian" and that his foster parents had twisted minds. She'd pitched forward laughing and lost her balance. Ricky caught her, grabbing her as she was half off the rock and hefted her back up. They'd been pressed against each other and she wished she could say that Ricky had been the one to kiss her, but he hadn't; they'd met half way.
It wasn't the perfect first time, it wasn't even a good first time. It had been fast and ended abruptly when they heard voices. Ricky had startled and fallen from the rock.
She scrambled from the rock, her left foot falling right into the muddy coffee puddle that had been left when she'd almost fallen. She ran for her suit, throwing the halter top around her neck as she hopped, pulling on her bottoms. The voices had faded from range by the time she had the second set of straps tied behind her back.
Ricky hadn't moved from his curled position on the ground beside the rock.
"Ricky?" she asked, meekly. She could feel the blood rushing to her face. God, what had she just done?
Ricky groaned, still not within eyesight. "I think that did permanent damage."
She knew she shouldn't have, but she giggled.
They'd only been at band camp a week when it happened. It wasn't even July yet. She'd slept with Ricky within days of meeting him and it made her feel like a slut.
The baby kicked, making her gasp. He didn't seem to agree with her.
She hadn't even considered pregnancy then, never considered that that one time on the rock would lead to her sitting here, just over a week from her due date. It hadn't even occurred to her when she missed her period those two months at band camp; she'd always been irregular and she'd been having too much fun to even pause and think about the un-depleting supply of tampons. She hadn't thought of it until she'd gotten home just before school started and her mother had mentioned her still having so many. She'd panicked, told her mom that Sarah had run out and used hers, that she'd picked up a bunch when they'd had their next visit into town.
She bought the pregnancy test two days later.
Her laptop let out a high pitched beep, alerting her to the new e-mail sitting in her inbox. She opened her eyes, her left hand straying to her stomach as she read the address of the sender. The address was one she recognized; Ricky's. She inhaled slowly, suddenly nervous as the cruiser hovered over the link. She had barely spoken to Ricky in the three months since the phone call when he agreed to going along with what she said. He'd barely looked at her since then. So why e-mail her now? She clicked on the exhale.
To: Amy Juergens – a_
From: Ricky Underwood – r_
Subject: Hey
Amy,
I know I haven't spoken to you...at all in a while. I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen; any of it.
You didn't deserve the attitude I gave you at the beginning of the year. I don't have an excuse or a reason for why I acted like that. It was stupid and I shouldn't have treated you like that. We had fun during the summer and we were—dare I say it—friends. We got over the awkwardness from that day on the rock and though we never went back to that spot, I hung out with you more than I did anyone else.
Barry is still as annoying via e-mail as he is in person. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm nine months too late to say "I'm sorry" but I am. This baby is going to be born soon and as far as I know you're still going along with the adoption. I know I said I'd go along with what you wanted and I am. But I want to know who's going to be taking care of my son. You have every right to hate me, but please, at least tell me who's going to be raising my son.
Ricky
Amy bit her lip, eyes darting over the words again. She didn't think she'd ever heard anyone apologize like that. And the fact that it was coming from Ricky was…she couldn't really place one word to it.
She brought up her Instant Messenger as she bit her lip, scrolling down her Offline buddies until she found the familiar screen name. She and Ricky had exchanged them just before they left camp. She blocked him after that day at school. She right clicked, moving the cruiser to settle over the selection "Unblock Buddy" and clicked. The name disappeared, and the sign-on sound came through her speakers. She closed her eyes as she scrolled back to the top of the list, opened them, and double-clicked Ricky's name.
She stared at the empty text box, writing and deleting "hi" seven times before she finally pressed SEND.
It was a minute and thirty-two seconds before she got a reply.
HereComeTheDrums: Hey.
HereComeTheDrums: How are you doing?
MoonGazer: Good. Not getting much sleep since the baby keeps kicking, but I'm doing good.
She paused, taking her hands away from the keyboard as she stared at the screen. Madison and Lauren never got it, never got why she didn't use IM Speak. She just never understood why they insisted on abbreviating words that were three letters long to begin with. She and Ricky had talked about that at band camp. He'd laughed and gave a clap, thanking her for being one person to see reason.
She swallowed, returning her fingers to the keyboard.
MoonGazer: I…um…I got your e-mail.
HereComeTheDrums: …And?
MoonGazer: And…I forgive you.
MoonGazer: Neither of us meant for this to happen.
HereComeTheDrums: I shouldn't have acted like that at school.
MoonGazer: No. You shouldn't have.
MoonGazer: What happened to the Ricky from band camp? I liked him.
HereComeTheDrums: The Ricky from band camp got you pregnant.
MoonGazer: The Ricky from band camp was fun. The Ricky from band camp got me into the good coffee.
HereComeTheDrums: Which you can't drink anymore.
MoonGazer: Don't remind me. I miss coffee.
HereComeTheDrums: Ben keeping you away from the caffeine?
MoonGazer: No. He decided to step back. Never stepped back in.
HereComeTheDrums: Oh.
MoonGazer: It's okay. He shouldn't have to handle all of this. It's not his responsibility.
HereComeTheDrums: It's not.
There was a silence as messages stopped being sent. Minutes ticked by as she stared at the unchanging LCD screen. One, two, three minutes without anything. She thought for a minute that Ricky had left without putting up an away message; Madison did that all the time. She jumped, startled when the chime echoed through her speakers and the baby kicked, annoyed at the sudden movement.
HereComeTheDrums: So…
MoonGazer: So…I got your e-mail.
HereComeTheDrums: I am sorry about what happened after band camp.
MoonGazer: Why did you act like that?
HereComeTheDrums: I don't know. I just…freaked, I guess.
MoonGazer: Why?
Two minutes went by without a reply.
MoonGazer: Ricky?
Another minute.
HereComeTheDrums: Because I liked you.
Amy's eyes widened and she froze, breath caught in her throat. The baby gave another kick, either worried about his mother or mad about the sudden lack of oxygen, Amy wasn't sure.
He liked her. He liked her when they were at band camp. But did that really mean anything? He had to at least like every other girl he slept with, didn't he?
"Calm down, Amy," she muttered to herself, "He said 'liked', past tense. He doesn't still like you."
HereComeTheDrums: I liked you and you deserve better.
HereComeTheDrums: I've got issues. I mean, you've seen my dad. And for the record, I never would have let him sell the baby.
MoonGazer: I know you wouldn't have.
There was another minute of silence and Amy leaned back in her chair, running her hands along her bulging stomach.
HereComeTheDrums: I still do, you know.
MoonGazer: Still what?
HereComeTheDrums: Like you.
Her heart stopped and her jaw dropped. "He…he did not just say that," she whispered, "He…he likes me? He still likes me?" Her fingers were shaking when they typed her reply.
MoonGazer: You do?
HereComeTheDrums: Yeah.
What was she supposed to say? That she liked him too? Did she? Didn't she love Ben? Ben had been the one that wanted to marry her, that wanted to take care of this baby as if it were his. Ricky…Ricky had been the one that got her pregnant, given her that one disastrous first time, been her friend, then wasn't her friend when school started again. Ricky had been the one that had gone with Grace to stop her from getting the abortion. Granted, they'd all thought he'd just done that to get into the good books with Grace, but then he'd shown up saying that he wanted to be there for the child.
She never knew with Ricky. He was a rollercoaster that had mood swings worse than hers.
And he liked her.
Oh, God, he liked her.
She closed her eyes, thinking of the baby boy in her stomach. She imagined him with Ricky's hair, dark, unruly curls and her eyes. She imagined Ricky's nose and her smile when teeth finally sprouted. She imagined waking up in the middle of the night to feed him, to seeing Ricky laughing and blowing raspberries on his chubby little stomach that provoked a high-pitched squeal from this little boy.
She'd been imagining Ben there for her entire pregnancy, had been forcing an image of Ben's face on Ricky's body in a fruitless effort to push away thoughts of the father.
But it hadn't worked.
She still saw Ricky, his smile, every tooth showing when he held the baby for the first time. She didn't have Ben to replace Ricky with anymore. She'd been trying to forget about him, been trying to forget that she wanted Ricky, that she still did.
MoonGazer: I do, too.
There. She said it, told him that his feelings weren't one sided.
She wanted Ricky.
And, she curled her arms around her middle, she wanted this baby.
God, she wanted this baby.
HereComeTheDrums: You do?
MoonGazer: Yeah.
HereComeTheDrums: =)
She giggled. Ricky using emoticons was the strangest thing ever.
MoonGazer: And…I want this baby.
HereComeTheDrums: You do?
MoonGazer: Yeah.
MoonGazer: We have everything set up, though. I don't know what to do. We were going to give the baby to Donovan (one of my dad's employees) and Leon. The baby is due in eight days. What am I supposed to tell them?
HereComeTheDrums: That you can't.
HereComeTheDrums: Adoptions fall through all the time. They'll get the chance to be parents, but we need ours.
HereComeTheDrums: It's not just your family. We have my foster family, too.
She smiled.
HereComeTheDrums: I'll talk to them with you.
MoonGazer: I'll call them after dinner.
HereComeTheDrums: Okay.
There was more silence as she pressed her palms against her stomach. She wasn't sure what her parents were say, but she knew Ashley would be happy. She wanted her nephew to be here.
She paused, frowning as her mother's voice echoed in the back of her head.
MoonGazer: What do we do with him, though? We both want to keep him, but we're teenagers. What about when we're in school? I'm not dropping out and neither are you.
HereComeTheDrums: Daycare.
MoonGazer: And how are we supposed to pay?
HereComeTheDrums: I have a job. I've been saving up, working at this café a town over. The owner is old friends with my foster mom and she has a crib there from when she had her kid. I can take him with me when you need me to.
He had it all planned, taking care of the baby while he worked, how to pay to have him watched while they were at school. He had it all planned. He was stepping up, but what was she doing? Sitting there without any idea how she would support this child that she wanted to keep.
HereComeTheDrums: She could use another hand if you're interested. Did you ever get a work permit from school?
MoonGazer: Yeah. You think she could use me?
HereComeTheDrums: Yeah, definitely.
MoonGazer: So we have a plan?
HereComeTheDrums: Daycare for the baby while we're in school. He comes to work with us when we go to the café. Sounds like a plan to me. We can figure out who he stays with nightly after we talk to our parents.
MoonGazer: And Donovan and Leon.
HereComeTheDrums: And Donovan and Leon.
Tears blurred her vision as she stared at the computer screen. They were keeping him. They were keeping this baby. "You hear that?" she asked her stomach, "You're staying right here."
HereComeTheDrums: I have to go. I promised my foster siblings I'd take them to see "Coreline" in 3D.
MoonGazer: Haha. Good luck.
HereComeTheDrums: I'm going to need it. Six kids under the age of ten with immense amounts of sugar? Kill me.
MoonGazer: Haha!
HereComeTheDrums: I feel your pity. =P I'll talk to you later. Text me when you have a time to meet with Donovan and Leon.
MoonGazer: Okay. Bye.
HereComeTheDrums: Bye.
HereComeTheDrums: And Happy Valentine's Day.
HereComeTheDrums has signed off at 5:34 PM.
Amy smiled, turning her head when her mom called her for dinner.
The baby kicked.
"I know, I know," she said to her stomach, "We need to name you."
The baby kicked again.
The End
