Name Tactics

It's another sunny day in O-Town. Rocko was putting his groceries into his fridge. He heard a knock at the door. He went over to it and opened it. It was Heffer and Filburt.

"Hi, Rocko!" Heffer and Filburt greeted in unison.

"Hey, guys," said Rocko. "What brings you two here?"

"We want to play croquet in your backyard!" replied Heffer.

"Okay, go ahead," smiled Rocko.

Heffer and Filburt ran inside and went past Rocko, giggling.

In the backyard, the croquet equipment is set up.

"My turn first!" cried Heffer.

He hit the croquet ball. It goes through the right hoop.

"Yay!" cheered Heffer. "Your turn, Filburt!"

"No, it's still your turn!" replied Filburt.

"No, it's your turn!" yelled Heffer.

"The rules say that if a player hits the ball through the correct hoop or hits another ball," screeched Filburt. "They get another go!"

Heffer and Filburt both started yelling loudly at each other.

Inside, Rocko is reading the newspaper. He couldn't concentrate on reading due to Heffer and Filburt's arguing. He stormed into his backyard.

"What's going on out there?" shouted Rocko.

"Heffer's not playing the game properly!" replied Filburt, angrily. "He said it's my turn when it's still his turn!"

"Heffer, you have to stick to the rules," sighed Rocko. "That's how you play the game."

He went back inside.

"Okay, I guess I should've stuck to the rules," said Heffer.

Heffer hit his croquet ball again. It misses the next loop.

"Aww, rat whiskers," mumbled Heffer.

"My turn!" hollered Filburt.

Heffer gave Filburt the croquet bat. Filburt hit his ball with it. It hits Heffer's ball.

"Woo-hoo!" cheered Filburt. "I get another go! Take that, fat cow!"

"Hey! I'm a steer!" shouted Heffer.

"But that's what you are!" replied Filburt.

"Well, if you're gonna call me that," yelled Heffer, angrily. "Then I guess you're a nerd!"

"Lazy!" squawked Filburt.

"Idiot!" screeched Heffer.

"Fridgehead!"

"Fraidy cat!"

"Baby!"

"Four-eyes!"

Filburt gasped with shock. Heffer stopped arguing and looked confused.

"Filburt, you okay?" asked Heffer.

Filburt was offended really badly. Heffer saw the young turtle's pitiful face.

"Kids, this isn't good," said Heffer, breaking the fourth wall.

Filburt sniffled. He had tears streaming from his eyes.

Meanwhile, Rocko was again reading his newspaper. Spunky jumped onto his chair.

"Hey, Spunky," Rocko greeted to Spunky. "How are you doing?"

Suddenly, Rocko and Spunky get startled by distinct crying. Rocko got annoyed and went outside. Spunky went with him. They saw what was going on. Filburt was crying uncontrollably and Heffer didn't know what to do.

"Alright, what's just happened?" yelled Rocko. "Why is Filburt crying?"

"Okay, this is what happened," Heffer explained. "Filburt called me a fat cow, then I said that I'm a steer. Then Filburt said that's what I am, then we both started calling each other names, and then he got upset because I called him four-eyes."

Suddenly, Filburt started crying much louder. Turns out he heard the word four-eyes. Rocko and Heffer had to cover their ears at this.

"ROCKO, CALM HIM DOWN NOW!" shrieked Heffer.

"Okay, I'll do it now!" Rocko said.

Rocko walked up to Filburt.

"Now, now Filburt," consoled Rocko. "Please don't be upset. Heffer shouldn't have insulted you like that."

"I know that, Rocko," wept Filburt. "But being called four-eyes hurts my feelings!"

"You know what, Filburt?" replied Rocko. "Sometimes, I'm quite emotional. I get upset when something of mine gets lost or broken, get teased by someone or not get invited to something. I even get upset when Spunky gets lost or someone I really care for leaves or passes on or I watch or hear something sad."

Filburt calms down a bit.

"Oh, Rocko," said Filburt. "That's what me and Heffer are like often."

"Rocko," called Heffer. "I've decided to let Mr. Four-Eyes have his go."

A record scratch is heard.

"Heffer!" growled Rocko.

"Uh-oh!" gasped Heffer, realising his mistake.

Unfortunately, Filburt heard what Heffer said. He whimpered for a few seconds then, all of a sudden, started bawling really loud.

"Now look, Heffer!" yelled Rocko. "I just calmed him down and now because of you, he's just started up again!"

"Sorry," sighed Heffer.

Rocko and Heffer hear a door knocking. They ran inside and ran over to the front door. Rocko opened it to see Ai standing on his doorstep.

"Rocko-chan. Heffer-chan. Konnichiwa!" greeted Ai.

"Hello, Ai," Rocko and Heffer both said at the same time.

"Are things going right?" asked Ai as she stepped into the house.

"Sort of," replied Rocko. "Filburt's in a tearful mood."

"What happened to him?" questioned Ai.

"I called Filburt four-eyes and it really hurt his feelings," answered Heffer.

"Poor Filburt-chan," gasped Ai. "Heffer-chan, name-calling can be hurtful sometimes. Back when I was in Japan, I used to stand up to bad kids who are teasing others."

"Wow, that was cool stuff you did, Ai!" smiled Heffer.

"I'll talk to Filburt-chan and when I've finished, I'll tell you when to apologize to him," explained Ai.

"Okie-dokey!" replied Heffer.

Ai went outside into the backyard. She saw Filburt crying. She ran up to him.

"Filburt-chan," greeted Ai, tapping his shoulder.

Filburt looked up tearfully to see Ai.

"Hello...Ai..." sniffled Filburt.

"I heard that Heffer-chan hurt your feelings," said Ai, consoling Filburt by rubbing his back gently.

"He did," answered Filburt, wiping his teary eyes with a handkerchief. "He called me four-eyes."

"Filburt-chan, everybody calls people names sometimes," explained Ai. "Back in Japan, I scolded people who are teasing others."

"You did?" asked Filburt, beginning to stop crying.

"Yes," replied Ai. "I told Heffer-chan all about it. I'll tell him to apologize to you."

Ai ran back inside.

"Heffer-chan, I talked to Filburt-chan," said Ai. "He managed to calm down. You can apologize to him now."

"Thanks, Ai!" giggled Heffer.

Heffer ran into the backyard to Filburt.

"Filburt, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings," sighed Heffer. "I feel like an idiot."

"That's okay, Heffer," replied Filburt, feeling much better. "I'm sure you didn't mean it. And I'm sorry I called you a fat cow."

"Apology accepted, Filburt," smiled Heffer. "Let's continue our croquet game."

"Hey, Rocko, Ai!" called Filburt. "Wanna play croquet with us?"

"Okay!" answered Rocko and Ai.

Rocko and Ai ran up to Heffer and Filburt and started playing croquet together.

THE END