Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon or anything to do with it. Misty wouldn't have been taken off the show if I did!
Big Water
"Misty, you have a challenger!"
My sister's words rouse me from my daydream, causing me to drop all of my Gyarados's food into the pool, much to its delight. Technically I was supposed to be feeding the Pokemon, but apparently I had lost all concentration some time ago, for I had found myself thinking of him…
I leave the pool and enter the reception area, finding Daisy filing away at her nails as she sits at the front desk. Violet and Lily were, of course, off doing God knows what (probably spending more money we don't have on the latest designer fashions).
"You know, Daisy, you're technically a gym leader, too; you could take on a challenger every now and then," I tell my sister.
"Well, I guess, but you're, like, so much better than me, Misty," she replies.
Yeah, right. I'm not good at anything…
I give in. "Please don't remind me of Ash," I silently plead before turning to glance at the challenger. Of course he reminds me of Ash, though; they almost always do. This kid even looks like Ash; an official Pokemon League hat sits atop his unkempt black hair.
"I'm Jimmy and I'm here to challenge you for a Cascade Badge! I just came from Pewter City and I knocked out some kid named Forrest's Pokemon in one fell swoop! I'm sure I'll be able to beat you, too!" the challenger smugly states.
They're all like this: cocky, confident, so sure of themselves…just like Ash was. Just like Ash still is, I suppose.
"Don't be so sure, kid," I reply. You know he's right, though, a voice in my head counters. You're an awful trainer.
I lead Jimmy into the main room of the gym, taking my place at one end of the pool while he walks towards the opposite one. A jolly looking Lapras smiles at me on the opposite wall, but it's almost like it's taunting me. You won't win.
I grab the first Pokeball I can find in my pocket, pulling out Goldeen's. Does it really matter who I call out if I'm just going to lose anyway?
"Misty calls Goldeen!"
"Fine, then," Jimmy replies. "I choose Bulbasaur!"
Goldeen's water guns are, of course, no match for Bulbasaur's razor leafs and vine whips. Jimmy wins the match.
I could chalk the loss up to the fact that Jimmy had a huge type advantage. I could blame the fact that I had chosen Goldeen, one of my weaker Pokemon. Surely Gyarados would have slaughtered Bulbasaur; heck, even Starmie, Politoad, or Corsola could have defeated the beginner Pokemon. I could even take into consideration the fact that my mind was on other things…
No, I don't choose to accept these reasons, though. Instead, I simply blame myself. What can I say? I'm just not a good trainer. I'm just not good at anything, really. I'm just not a good person.
"Congratulations, Jimmy," I tell the young trainer while handing him the coveted Cascade Badge. His fingers display the victory sign and he then proceeds to hug his Bulbasaur.
Yes, he's just like Ash.
It's already dark when Daisy and I make it back to the house. There was a lot of "administrative stuff" to take care of, the stuff I hate doing the most. Being a gym leader isn't just about battling trainers, unfortunately. Sometimes the whole routine of it can become rather dull.
Oh, how I miss traveling with Ash and Brock. There was no "administrative stuff" then, no dull routine. It may sound cliché, but everyday was literally a new adventure. What a wonderful feeling it was to fall asleep under the stars and to wake up to the sunrise at dawn, surrounded by good friends and Pokemon. Sure, Ash and I would get into fights every now and then, but there were also the times when my sides would hurt from laughing so much because of his jokes or his sheer stupidity, and Brock's cooking sure beats Daisy's any day. Those times were over for me, though. Ash and Brock had found new friends and traveling companions, new people to joke with and cook for, in May and Max and now Dawn.
I wish my sister goodnight before heading upstairs to my bathroom to take a shower. As the hot water flows over my body I begin my nightly "checks," examining my body for bones and fat.
As I step out of the shower I look at myself in the mirror with hatred, pinching the fat on my belly. Sure, the dieting I've done for the last few months has gotten me some results, but I've got a long way to go. I hate the way my thighs still touch ever so slightly and the way my buttock protrudes from behind me. I don't know which I hate more, my reflection or myself. I can't even succeed at losing weight. I truly am a failure at everything.
I started dieting to become beautiful like my sisters, like May and Dawn. I have always been the ugly duckling, the black sheep of the family. Maybe, I though, if I could just lose a little weight my sisters would accept me as a bona fide "Sensational Sister." Maybe, just maybe, Ash would return the secret feelings I've harbored for him for so long…
Losing weight gave me something to look forward to. Life at the gym had become increasingly tedious and uneventful; the same thing happened everyday. I missed traveling. I missed my friends. I couldn't control the fact that I had to return home. I couldn't control the fact that my precious baby Togepi had evolved and gone away. I couldn't control the fact that Ash and Brock had new traveling companions. I couldn't even control my stupid temper! (No wonder Ash probably hates me!) I could, however, control my weight and my appearance. There was comfort in that.
I hadn't meant to take it so far. I was just supposed to lose a few pounds, to become a little more attractive. Yet whenever I thought of stopping the voice inside my head would urge me to continue, urge me to seek perfection, and how could I refuse? How could I refuse when I knew that I was ugly, when I knew that I had a bad temper, when I knew that I wasn't a "Sensational Sister," when I knew that Ash probably cared more for May and Dawn than he did for me. These are things the voice inside my head told me, anyway.
Now I cannot stop. If I stop I'll become fat and ugly. If I stop I'll lose control. The voice inside my head reminds me of this every minute. No, I cannot stop, because if I stop I'll never be perfect; I'll never be a "Sensational Sister;" I'll never attract the attention of Ash.
Daisy has yet to notice my odd eating habits and the changes in my body. Why would she? It's not like she cares about me. No one does. Besides, she's too busy obsessing over her appearance (Ha! What a hypocrite I am!) or drooling over the latest movie star.
I slip into my warmest pajamas, for lately I have found myself exceedingly cold, and head into bed. I don't sleep to dream, but to escape reality. Why would I sleep to dream when my dreams are nothing but nightmares, anyway?
The sunlight creeps through my window, waking me from my sleep. I yawn once before turning over to glance at the clock. It's 10:00; I've overslept. This means I won't have time for my morning jog. I silently curse myself for being so lazy before getting out of bed.
When I enter the kitchen I notice a note on the counter. It reads:
Dear Misty,
I've gone to try out the new salon around the corner; my hair, like, seriously needs a perm. You're on your own for breakfast. Luv ya.
Daisy
Daisy's gone out again, huh? Why does that not surprise me? She's always going out, leaving me to take care of myself and the gym. It's hard to run a gym all by one's lonesome self. Who knows when she'll be back? I could be stuck here by myself the entire day.
The taking care of myself part I don't exactly mind (not that I actually take care of myself…more like the opposite). Part of the reason why Daisy hasn't noticed that anything is wrong is because she's hardly ever around.
Oh, what to eat?! My day seems to revolve around that question. I need to eat less than I ate yesterday. What did I eat yesterday for breakfast, anyway? Oh, a yogurt. Today I think I'll have an apple.
As I'm washing off my "breakfast" I hear the phone ring in the other room. I figure that it must be Violet and Lily hoping to tell me about a new tanning salon they've found that's, like, totally awesome (because I'm, like, so disgustingly pale).
Well, you can imagine my surprise when I find Mrs. Delia Ketchum, Ash's mother, on the other line.
"Hello, Misty!" Her happy face beams at me through the video phone.
"Hi, Mrs. Ketchum. How are you?"
"Oh, I'm fine. Thank you for asking. How are you, though, dear? You look a little sick."
I look sick? She must have noticed my pale, yellowish skin, or maybe my bony body. Shoot! I had forgotten to put my bathrobe on to hide my body! I do feel kind of faint…
"Oh, no. I'm fine, thank you. I just got up; that's all." Still, part of me wants to tell her everything; she is, after all, the first person who's noticed that anything is wrong. Maybe she can save me…
Telling her everything will just prove how weak you really are, the voice in my head challenges. You don't need help. Besides, if you tell her it'll ruin any chance you have of obtaining perfection, of being a "Sensational Sister," of Ash liking you. It'll ruin everything.
I comply.
"Anyway, Misty, Ash and Brock are coming for a visit in a few days, and I was wondering if you would like to join us," Delia replies, snapping me back to reality. "Ash wants to take a break from training before moving on to another league. I think he deserves a rest. He did do so well at the Sinnoh League, after all. Did you know that he placed fourth?"
Did I know? Of course I knew! I had sat glued to the television throughout the whole tournament, praying that Ash would win. How I had wanted to be there, cheering for Ash with Dawn! That had always been my role, cheering Ash on during his battles. I'm his number one fan! He has Dawn now, though; he doesn't need me anymore. Heck, she even dresses like a cheerleader!
"Well, Misty, what do you say?" Mrs. Ketchum questions.
"I don't know, Mrs. Ketchum…"
"Don't you want to see your friends, Misty? I'm sure they want to see you."
Yeah, right. If they had wanted to see me so badly they wouldn't have stopped emailing, calling, and writing. When was the last time I had heard from them? I don't even know. Besides, they have Dawn now. If you show up they'll just be annoyed. They don't like you.
"I'm not so sure that they'd want to see me."
"Why would you say that, dear? I know that Ash and Brock miss you. Besides, this may be your only opportunity to see them for a long time."
She does have a point, I suppose. When will I get to see Ash and Brock next? I miss them so much.
They don't want to see you. Besides, how will you get away with not eating? How will you hide your weight loss? the voice in my head reminds me.
"I really don't know…"
"Please, Misty. Please say you'll come. It would mean so much to Ash. You know you'll regret it if you don't come," Mrs. Ketchum begs.
She's right. I would feel completely awful if I missed this opportunity to see my friends. Besides, which is more important, losing weight or seeing Ash?
"Alright. I'll be over in a few days."
I'll always choose Ash.
Author's Note: Hello, everyone. I hope you all enjoy my story so far. Although I have a lot of experience with writing, this is my first fanfic, so I hope it's OK. This idea has probably been done a million times, but oh well. Please, please review. I don't want to sound desperate, but reviews will help me stay motivated to post the rest of the story. Anyway, the story is four chapters and I'll be posting a chapter each week. Thank you.
