Last Kiss
all THat i know Is
i don't know how to be Something you miss
never thought We'd have a lAst kisS
never iMagined we'd End like this
"Listen," Charlie said, and his hands were in his pockets and his eyes were on the ground and her heart was pounding no, no, no.
"What are you doing," she whispered.
"These past two years," he said, refusing to meet her eye, "have been amazing."
"Charlie."
"And I really care about you."
"Charlie." She was crying. "Don't do this."
"But I can't keep this up." He swallowed. "It's - I need some time for myself. There's a lot going on for me right now. And - and who were we kidding, Dora. We knew this wasn't going to last forever."
Her heart was swelling, swelling, swelling, there was no room left for her lungs, there was no room to breathe. "I didn't know that," she said, and she was staring at him hard, but he wouldn't look at her.
"We're leaving Hogwarts in two months. You're going to be an Auror, and I'm going to Romania, and you - we've always said long distance is too hard."
She closed her eyes. "You mean so much to me," she whispered.
"You mean everything to me."
"Then why are you doing this?" She opened her eyes, and they were wet but they were also fierce, and for just a second she wanted to hurt him. "Look at me!"
He did, and she almost broke down, because he was crying, too, and she'd never seen Charlie Weasley cry before, she hadn't known he was capable. "Nymphadora," he said. "I care about you so much. But you'll end up hurt if we try to make this work. You'll end up so, so hurt."
"I'm hurt now."
"I know, but this will heal, this will go away."
She shook her head. "It won't. Not for me."
"It will. I promise you, it will. Because you deserve someone who can give you everything, and I can't, I've never been able to give you what you want, I'm - "
"Is this about money to you?" She laughed once, harshly, and reached out to shove him. "Is this about money to you?"
"No!"
She shoved him again, and again, and he let her, and that was the worst part of all. "This isn't about money," she seethed. "This is about my heart."
"I'm sorry."
She moved to push him again, but she tripped over nothing and fell into his chest, and he caught her like he always did, and suddenly she was sobbing. "Say it, then," she choked. "Tell me you don't - tell me you don't care about me - anymore - "
"I care about you. I do. More than anything. This is just how it needs to be. I'm sorry."
She blinked hard to stop the tears. "So what now?"
"Now we walk away," he whispered, kissing the top of her head.
"But after that. Are we just going to pretend it didn't happen? Sit down at different desks and act like strangers? Avoid each other?"
"Yes, at first."
"I don't want to do that."
"It's not going to be easy."
"It's going to be impossible."
He hugged her tightly. "But every day will get easier. If anyone can make it through this, Tonks, it's you."
And that hurt most of all - that name - because it sounded wrong on his lips, she was Nymphadora to him, and only to him, it was the only way she knew how to say I Love You and the only way he knew how to say it back and now it was gone, gone, gone, over, and she felt numb and broken and empty and full all at the same time.
"Kiss me," she begged. "One last time."
He did.
(But it didn't feel like her Charlie anymore.)
[Monthly Drabble-A-Thon: Charlie Weasley]
[Collect A Collection Competition: Nymphadora Tonks (Order Members)]
[Het-Pairings Boot Camp: kiss]
[Wizard Family Portrait Challenge: Charlie Weasley]
[100 Prompts: Sorrow; Pain]
