Building the brick wall.
Intro
She was running… Forcing her muscles to be push to the limit, lungs burning…She had to get away… Stopping was NOT an option…She had to get away.
She ended up skidding to a halt, her path was block by a brick wall… She turned around seeing the shadow getting nearer… The owner of the shadow approaching her, not in any rush as it knew she had nowhere to go.
Her eyes grew wide, raising her hands in defence as the figure walks towards her, smiling at her, taunting her by not saying a word, just showing that smile.
She pleaded, but the figure still kept moving towards her.
She was desperate to be left alone that she dropped down to her knees and begged for the figure to leave her alone and not to hurt her and that she just wanted to go home.
It was THAT smile that terrified her the most, as a hand grabbed her around her throat, cutting off her airway… And with just a whisper in her ear.
'…I win!'
Her heart racing... sweat pouring down her face, her body moving about in her bed. "SHIT!" She screamed out as she opened her eyes and leaned forward. Wiping the sweat when she rubbed her face, it was always the same moment she wakes up from the nightmares, the moment when she lost her identity, her soul and her heart.
She sighed...
The rent was due this week, and again she had spent the money on drugs. She had no choice but to try and clear her debt off with her dealer, who she owes a lot of money in order to avoid another beating.
It did not matter that she used to date him, which is why she got hooked and is in this mess in the first place.
Struggling to get out of bed she let out a hiss and winched as pain shoot out from her ribs when he kicked her, threatening that the next visit if she did not pay will result her being in hospital.
She wanted nothing but to stay in bed, her body ached all over, she had to force herself to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom, she tried to have a shower but the water barely came out and when it did, it came out all black as the pipes needed to be serviced.
She had complained to the landlord about it but he just looked at her and brush her off saying it will 'cost' her extra. Seeing the way, he looked at her she knew it meant more than money and he knew when desperate she will give it to him.
Looking at her reflection not recognising herself in the mirror the bruise on the left side of her face had faded but can still be seen, resulting her to put a bit more make up than normal. Her eyes lost the spark it once held, instead they were dead and soulless. She quickly turned away not wanting to see the hollow face, facing back at her. She had to make do with a quick splash of water in the basin and spraying a lot of perfume, she didn't have a decent shower since she arrived here.
Going back to the bedroom/lounge, she got out want she wanted to wear for her gig.
Once ready Beca looked at her run down flat, this wasn't what she had pictured her life in LA to be. She had high hopes, dreams and her father's blessing as well as his support, until she fucked it all up. Her move to LA was quick and rushed. She just wanted to leave Barden as soon as possible.
Before leaving she sat down and emptied a little bag that contained the white powder that she craved so much onto her table and snorted the coke. It was the only way she knew how to face the outside world before her gig at a rundown club. The pay was not good but was enough to pay her rent or it would've been if she didn't spend it on drugs, which was quickly escalating.
Her father found out as she let it slip during one of their phone calls and she was high as well as drunk. He begged her to come back home so he can help her. But she refused saying she is coping but her attitude changed when he had no choice but to cut her off as giving her an ultimatum to either go back home and sort whatever problem she was having and he would help her or she had to fend for herself, thinking that tough love would make Beca open up to him. But it had tremendously backfired as Beca turned nasty and was in denial about the root of her problem resulting in a massive verbal assault bringing up all his past mistakes and telling him where to shove his money and she no longer wants him in her life. She did not need his help and would deal with everything herself.
Whenever she was behind on the rent she would lower herself to have sex with the balding, overweight landlord and would feel like shit afterwards and would end up taking more drugs, so that she can try to forget that it happened.
She had started doing the same with her ex, now her drug dealer, thinking because they used to date he will let her off with just sex. However, he soon got tired of her and it was now more of business then pleasure so the past few weeks he started to demand the payment up front which she could not pay and had resulted in the beating pervious days before.
Since they broke up he became more aggressive towards her when she asked for more drugs, it became another business deal to him then the sex and treated her like any another addict demanding the money up front.
It was his way of still having control of her, even though he did not know the full story of what had happened to her before her arrival to LA, he knew that she is depended on them. He also made her feel even more worthless by telling her he had enough 'bitches' to fulfil his needs already.
As soon as he realised her habit was getting out of hand fast and was making him out of pocket, sex with her was not enough, if she didn't pay the full amount on his next visit not only would she end up in hospital but he made it very clear that if she could not pay what she owns him by the next visit, he would make her pay it off by working on the streets and even then, it will be as and when he decides to let her go. He was in a way given her a chance by paying the full amount on his next visit and be free or be forever in his debt.
He was due to visit her tomorrow night.
She headed to her gig, which was at the best of times pointless as no one paid attention to the music that she would play. Since she had been here she had lost her 'feel' for music something was missing to bring out her potential and that magic touch to her mixes.
Once she finished her set she looked around the place, taken in that the people did not notice nor cared that the music had stopped, and carried on with their drinking. Her boss then entered the booth and told her that it was not working out and gave her, her final pay. She didn't argue back. Her fighting spirit had long been gone.
Sighing she packed up her equipment and headed towards the bar, the only benefit of working here was the free drinks.
Beca took her surroundings in.
The club was run down with just the basic deco and not a place to really hold a major crowd. She did not want to go home yet, as she started to drink she started to reminisce about the last six months on how she got to this low point in her life. And started to hate the person that she had become.
'It figures…' She thought to herself. 'As soon as I finally have direction in my life and starting to achieve something. Having finding happiness and good friends…It turns to shit.'
The more she drank the more Beca dove into her past and can pinpoint exactly the moments in her life when she had cut off people that cared about her and began to start building a wall to let those same people out.
The first brick was laid, hell the first half of the wall was laid during her high school years, starting when she was fifthteen and aware of the atmosphere both at home and at school.
The first change in her life was her once close friend since junior school had now suddenly became her enemy.
She noticed all the stereotypical cliques… the skaters, the goths, the athletes, the techies, the stoners and so forth, but she never knew where she fitted in and sometimes she even preferred her own company which made her an easy target to get bullied. Especially with her old childhood friend… Casey. Casey was mainly the one who did the bullying, mostly snide remarks about her looks and clothes despite her middle-class background and being able to afford a decent wardrobe. But Beca was never the materialistic girl and would always wear what made her feel comfortable and would not give in easily to peer pressure always held her head high.
"Well it looks like Beccy found another flannel shirt at Walmart…" Casey shouted as Beca walked by. "Anymore and people would think you do DIY if you know what I mean…" The other girls around her laugh.
Beca sighed. Normally she will let it slide and carried on walking but it has been too much, everyone has a boiling point and Beca was slowly reaching hers. "Look, Case…"
Casey slowly walked up to her as Beca called out her old nickname. "What is your problem with me? We used to be best friends. Since when did that all stopped?"
Casey feeling the eyes belonging to the rest of the bitch clique staring at her, took another look at her and laughed. "Like I could ever be friends with someone like you! You are nothing…" Casey prodded Beca on the shoulder. "…and you will always be nothing…" The prod had now turned into a shove with Beca hitting the lockers and dropping her books. "What the HELL was that for?" Becca can feel her temper raising as she began to pick up her books. "I don't like you, I see the way you stare at me you perv…"
"WHAT!?" Beca shouted dropping her books on the ground again. "Are you serious!? I…" She started but then stopped as she suddenly remembered when Casey kissed her one night whilst they were studying and Beca was upset with all her parents shouting. Casey was comforting Becca as she cried onto her shoulder telling Casey her fear about her parents splitting. Casey was silently hushing her and telling her that everything will be okay as she will always have her, as Beca sobbed a 'promise' out of her lips and lifted her head to look into her friend's eyes…
…That's when it happened…
