I look at the still born in my arms. He never even got a chance to take his first breath.
"It's all my fault. If... if I hadn't gotten so sick during my final trimester..." I held the child close to me.
"It wasn't your fault Izumi," Sig tried to comfort me, wrapping his huge arms around me.
"Yes it is!" I screech at him. "I killed him! I killed our son. It's my fault that he..." I broke down and wept into my husband's chest. He said nothing. Sig just held me close and stoked my hair until I finally fell asleep.
...
For days I just sat bedridden. I was too ill to move but that didn't matter to me. My mind was in shambles. I just kept thinking of my baby. I didn't care if it was a boy or girl. I just wanted it to be healthy. I noticed my alchemy books on the shelf. Maybe... maybe there was a way to bring him back.
...
I had everything I needed; all the chemical components of creating an infant human. I carefully copied the transmutation circle in the middle of the room. I had to do it. I had to see my baby alive and well. I knew the risks involved but nothing prepared me for what happened next...
...
I felt a searing pain in my lower abdomen. My reproductive organs had been removed when I went through the gate of truth. I will never again be able to bear a child, but that didn't matter; as long as I had my son. Sig had run into the room upon hearing my screams.
...
"My baby..." I stretched out to the centre of the room but recoiled at what I saw. It wasn't even human. The thing let out an unearthly wail. All I wanted was a child but now that chance was taken away from me forever. Dear God, what have I done?
I had everything taken away from me. I had an adoring husband and a child of my own on the way. One little accident had taken them both. Of course my sister did everything to cheer me up while I was recovering. She had everything I ever wanted; the man of my dreams, and the child that should have been mine. I resented but I could never truly hate her. Not Rachel. Within a few months I would lose them too.
...
I hated this part of the job. I should be bringing children into the world, not helping destroy them. I remember the day my nephew was born, holding Rachel's tiny creation in my arms. I should have held one of my own. These whores don't know how lucky they are. They possess the ability to make such a precious gift, and they just throw it away. How dare they?! I couldn't take it anymore.
...
I tracked down where Martha Tabram lived, my head full of vengeful thoughts. She turned to look at me.
"Ain't 'choo th' doc from afore? Wait, what yer doin'?!" Those were her last words. I hacked this ungrateful whore into pieces. She possessed the one thing I would never be able to do again. I killed all those ungrateful whores. My happiness was gone forever. If I couldn't be happy, neither could they.
