A/N #1: This story was originally supposed to be a 3k word one-shot for Christmas/Allen's Birthday. Instead, it's 11 chapters and an epilogue, totaling about 28k words. It clearly got away from me.
A/N #2: Yes, you read the description right. Unlike my other stories, this story is not AllenxKanda, but rather just straight Yullen.
A/N #3: Like with my other semi-AU stories, this takes place in a future where the last cannon events are Allen running away from the Order and Kanda going after him. Allen is now eighteen and back at the Order, Cross and Lavi are both alive, and Neah is gone.
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I woke up in a strange bed in a strange room. My head hurt something fierce, and the light shining through the window was far too bright. In my disoriented state, it took a moment to recognize the decor of the strange room: it was my room at the inn. Only, I couldn't remember coming back last night, and trying to think about it just made my head hurt more.
Deciding I'd had enough of the light burning my eyes, I tried to get up to close the curtains. But I couldn't move. There was something heavy on top of me. My half asleep attempt to get out from underneath the weight failed, but that's when I noticed three things.
The first was that I was naked. Completely naked. And that was weird because I never slept in the nude. As an exorcist, it was always possible that I would be awoken in the middle of the night, and sleeping without something on was just asking for trouble.
The second was that my hair wasn't up. It was strewn about the bed, though the long strands were mostly awkwardly and painfully pinned between me and the mattress. And that was why I always slept with it tied back in some fashion: I hated sleeping on my hair; it was the one downside to keeping it long.
The third thing was that the weight on top of me was a person. I was in bed with someone else. And judging by the feeling of their bare skin against mine, they were just as naked as I was.
It wasn't hard to put things together after that. The headache, aversion to light, lack of memory, and overall crappy feeling were from a hangover. I had gotten drunk last night. But not just drunk, it was a have-sex-with-a-stranger-and-then-black-out type of drunk. And that was new. I'd never, ever, even been close to that drunk before. Hell, before last night, I was a virgin. Sex just wasn't something I thought about.
The body on top of me moved slightly, and I tried to force myself to focus. Whoever it was I had slept with was still asleep, and I prayed that it was some random girl who I'd be able to kick out without too much trouble.
I wouldn't get that wish.
My attempt to wake the body above me was rewarded with a change in position that gave me a face full of hair. Between the too bright light and the hangover, it took a second to realize that the hair in my face was short and white.
Disbelief hit me hard, and I was sober in an instant. There was just no way I had been that drunk. There was not enough alcohol in the world to get me drunk enough to sleep with Allen Walker.
But as I threw off the blankets and yanked myself out from under my bed partner, I could only conclude that that was exactly what had happened. I wanted to run away, but my body wouldn't listen and I ended up just standing there staring at the young man I had apparently fucked the night before.
The Moyashi shivered slightly at the loss of warmth now that he was alone on the bed, but he didn't wake. Hoping my conclusions were wrong, I let my eyes rove down from his scarred face, only to be met with the evidence of what had happened. The boy was just as naked as I was, his dick bigger than I expected it to be, and while that didn't prove anything, the dried semen on his midsection certainly did.
I really had had sex with Allen Walker. And it wasn't that he was a fellow male that had me freaked out, I couldn't care less about that fact; despite being a branch of the Catholic Church, the Black Order was actually a very safe place for homosexuals. No, it was the fact that it was him that was bothering me. That boy got under my skin like no one else could, and it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that I hated him to some degree.
Not knowing what to do next, I sat down roughly on the edge of the bed. I had my back to the Moyashi, but I could tell from the way he shifted that I had finally succeeded in waking him. He let out a deep groan before he groggily spoke. "Huh? Kanda? What are you doing on my bed?"
My only answer was to turn my head and stare at him. He blinked a few times before he spoke again. "And why in the hell are you naked?!"
I watched him push himself up onto his elbows, the motion making him break our tense stare to look down at his body. He practically shrieked when he spoke again. "Why am I naked?!"
The Moyashi hurriedly moved to sit up, reaching for a pillow to cover himself with, but instead he collapsed back to the mattress with a pained groan. His right hand began to rub his temples while his black Innocence hand began rubbing the small of his back.
Well, that answers the question of which of us was on the bottom...
Pushing the thought aside, as it was accompanied by a couple flashes of memories of the sex; I finally found my voice, though my tongue felt like it was covered in fur. "Apparently we got drunk and slept together last night."
The way he froze at my words might have made me laugh, but this whole situation was the polar opposite of funny. He groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Alright, fine, you may as well just kill me now and get it over with. I know you want to, and if you don't do it, then Master Cross will. And I'd rather be killed for sleeping with you than for getting drunk."
The babbling brought my headache back. That boy talked way too much. And what he was suggesting was strange. There were a lot of things I had wanted to kill him over in the past three years, but this wasn't one of them. "Che. It was just sex, Moyashi. It's no big deal. And even if it was, we were drunk. It's not like either of us were coherent enough to actually consent to anything."
The Moyashi's silver eyes were huge as he blinked at me. It took him a second to organize his thoughts. "But I took your virginity; shouldn't you be pissed at me?"
With that one question, I could remember the bar: we were there so that the Moyashi could fill his bottomless pit of a stomach and Lavi could hit on girls. Some guy mistook me for a woman and bought me a very girly drink. It pissed me off. Especially when Lavi suggested that I just relax and enjoy the free alcohol. I retorted that I'd drink it if he and the Moyashi each did a shot of tequila, not expecting Allen's desire to see me drink the pink thing to outweigh his hatred of alcohol. But they did the shots, so I downed the fruity cocktail in one swig. That's when Lavi suggested playing a game called "Never Have I Ever". The night went downhill from there, as the "game" quickly devolved into Allen and I taking potshots at each other. Lavi left at some point, and the last thing I could recall was the revelation that the Moyashi and I were both virgins.
"So? It's not like I was saving myself for someone special. And I took yours as well. You're not pissed at me for that, right?" He made a face at me, but didn't argue, so I kept talking, sharing my thoughts as they came to me. "Besides, I bet you remember even less of last night than I do. And if we don't actually remember having sex, then we can just pretend it never happened."
The Moyashi's gaze turned thoughtful as he sat up and covered his lap with a pillow. "I guess that's true. But can you actually do that? Can you actually pretend that we never slept together?"
"Che. Why not? It's not like this changed how I feel about you. You're still obnoxious, Moyashi."
He hissed at me. "My name's Allen, Bakanda."
I stood up and began searching for my clothes. "That just proves my point, Moyashi. If you still hate that I won't use your real name then nothing between us has changed."
The Moyashi stared at me for a moment before he collapsed backwards and turned his stare on the ceiling. "Can you hurry up and be sober? This hungover version of you that's talkative and smart is really creeping me out."
I snorted and threw a shirt that was clearly too small to be mine at him. "Look at the bright side, at least the Baka Usagi is never going to be able to tease you for being a virgin. And if he asks for details, you can honestly say that you were drunk and don't remember."
As I bent to pick up the shirt that actually was mine, I was beaned with a pillow. I looked up to see Allen scowling at me as he buttoned his shirt. "If I agree to forget this whole thing, will you finally stop talking?"
I returned his scowl and pulled on my shirt. "Che. I only want you to agree to it if you want to. If I'm wrong and you actually do want things between us to change, then say so. I don't want to find out months from now that you've worked yourself into a depression pining over me."
I was beaned with the other pillow. Allen was simultaneously laughing and glaring at me. "As if I would ever pine over you, Bakanda. You're a self-centered bastard."
.x.x.
I didn't know what to make of the plan to forget that Kanda and I had slept together. It seemed so impossible. That painful ache in my lower back returned several times over the next few days, especially whenever I moved too sharply. And the pain forcibly reminded me that Kanda's dick had been inside my body in the most intimate of ways. That thought always made me want to scream.
I couldn't be mad at him though. As much as I disliked the guy, I knew he was telling the truth about being as drunk as I was. Despite the composed way he handled the morning after, I could tell from the uncharacteristic behavior that he was freaked out and confused. It just wasn't possible that he was lying to cover up taking advantage of me, which is what everyone who heard what happened would suggest. That night was a disaster for both of us, not just me.
In fact, it might even have been worse for him. I had at least known that I was gay prior to our night together. Discovering his sexual orientation by waking up in bed with a man could not have been easy on Kanda.
When the pain in my ass finally faded for good, I found myself realizing that everything Kanda had said that morning was true. The sex really was no big deal if we didn't remember it, and even though he took my virginity, I had no reason to hate him for it. Plus, he did exactly what he said he was going to, and treated me exactly the same as he used to. I knew he wasn't going to be nicer, but I had expected him to be meaner, and he didn't do that.
So I decided to do the same and move on.
But almost as soon as I reached that decision, I got hit with a stomach bug. It helped with the forgetting, I was too busy throwing up and worrying about throwing up to think about Kanda. But in every other way, being sick sucked. Especially once Komui decided that I had been sick for too long.
The medical exam he put me through was nerve wracking. Aside from the vomiting, I felt fine. I had thought that he was overreacting, but the seriousness of his behavior made me think that something might actually be wrong with me. Waiting for the results of the tests was awful, but what happened afterward was even worse.
I was pregnant.
Komui explained that it was possible because of my parasitic Innocence; and his patient descriptions of what was going to happen to my body helped me adjust to the idea that I was going to have a baby.
Inside my head was chaos, the idea of being pregnant was beyond weird, and I had no clue what to do next. But when Komui suggested that I have an abortion, everything became crystal clear in a heartbeat.
I had no clue whether or not I could raise the baby by myself, or even if I wanted to. But there was one thing I did know without a doubt: I couldn't kill it. I was going to have to carry the baby to term. It wasn't its fault that I had accidentally conceived it; it was an innocent life, and it deserved to live. She may not have kept me, but my mother had at least brought me into the world; my child deserved the same.
The next week was annoying. Komui constantly questioned my decision to not abort the baby. He even went so far as to go behind my back and tell Master Cross that I was pregnant.
My former teacher reacted how I expected him to: there was the awful teasing for letting a man take me like I was a woman, then came the questioning of my resolve to give birth to my baby. It was what happened after that that surprised me. While Cross remained very vocal in his disagreement with my decision, he agreed that it was my choice and they couldn't force me to go through with an abortion.
He came up with a plan to get me away from headquarters, and before I knew what was happening, I was once again traveling with him. Only this time around he was respectful and considerate of my needs, especially when it came to my pregnancy. He even used his magic to disguise me as a woman, so that I wouldn't attract any unwanted attention.
The spell he put on me took some getting used to. Seeing a woman when I looked in the mirror was annoying, as was the sound of my voice; I missed my Adam's apple. And it was incredibly weird that I was still male downstairs, it almost would have been better if he had just turned me into a woman completely. Even answering to the name 'Ellen' was annoying. But the long auburn hair that spilled into my face every time I moved my head was by far the worst part.
I completely forgot about Kanda until about two weeks after I left headquarters, when I was asked about the father of my baby for the first time. It was a surreal moment as I realized that I had gotten pregnant the night I had drunkenly slept with a man I sort of hated. Kanda was the father of the baby that was growing inside me.
