Disclaimer: Nothing is mine but the story.

Note: This appens before "God of Death"

Reflection on Death

By: Cat Paws

I walk into the room and find him sitting by the window, starring out. He is surprisingly silent, not normal by his nature. Something must be bothering him. He rarely goes off on his own and hides, and for him to be so quiet. Maybe I can help him. I have to try. "Duo, is something wrong?" He does not acknowledge me or my question. His manner reminds me of Heero or Trowa. My curiosity is awakened by this. I wont to pull him out of his melancholy mood even more.

I sit across from him and look at his face. It seems tense, some how. He does not look at me. His eyes are focused on some distant point in the garden, or maybe some distant point in his mind. "Duo?" He turns to me. For a moment, he does not see me. He sees something else, I think.

For the first time, I see what the fighting has done to him. I see the sadness, the coldness, and hatred. There is a flicker of death, as well. His face is locked into a serious, almost chilling, expression. The mask of the joker is not on his face at this time. Far from it, to be precise. "Are you all right? You can tell me."

His face molds itself into that joker mask and his mouth forms into his sideways grin that only comes naturally to him. "Quatre," he says, cheerfully. His eyes sparkle with a devilish shine as he stands and continues. "Death is calling. Don't wait up for me." This statement stuns me. He said it in such a cruel, yet sarcastic way that it sent a shiver down my back. I do not know whether to take him seriously or not.

"What do you mean?" I also rise in anticipation for his answer. He can be so ode sometimes. There are moments when I think he takes his alter ego a little too seriously. Then again, being called "The God of Death" must put a strange burden on him.

"I have a little business to take care of." I must have a worried look on my face, for his features soften a little, and he says on a more happier note, "Don't worry, I'll be careful. Tell the others that I'll be away for a while. Wufee will probably be happy I'm gone so he can have some peace and quiet. Anyway, I have to go. Like I said, don't wait up. See ya" He smiles and walks away to do whatever he has to do. I take a deep breath and can not help but to think, I hope you know what you are doing.

I make it outside in time to see the Deathscythe Hell blast off. I'm soon joined by the other three pilots. They all have passive expressions on their faces. Wufei quirks an eyebrow and says, "Hn. Where's he going?"

"He said something about Death calling, and to not wait." He now has a slight questioning look, as though he does not understand. Or perhaps he does, and does not see why it must be Duo. Could he be worried? The two always get on each other's nerves, Duo with his jokes and sarcasm, and Wufei with his seriousness and justifications. Yet, that only makes their bond stronger.

"Perhaps we should follow him." Trowa is still staring off in the direction that he went. He is as expressionless as always. I can never really tell what he is thinking.

"No, not yet. Give him a day, then we'll follow." Heero, in his hard, stern voice, gives us the order. He always seems to know why we do what we do. This is especially true when it comes to Duo. There appears to be more between them, like a silent connection.

The other pilots agree and go back to whatever they were doing before. I stay where I am for a moment longer, my thoughts reflecting on Duo. He is always the fun, laughing, optimistic pilot out of us, the life after the killing and death. How strange that he, out of the rest of us, would have a separate entity into itself. There are two sides to him, as with everyone, but his are more contrasting. He is both life and death.

I feel that each of us Gundum pilots represent some aspect of war. I have hope, Trowa has silence, Wufei has justice, and Heero has determination. We all share in the pain and darkness that comes from war, dealing with it in our own ways. But Duo... He is a duo between life and death.

I've never really thought of Duo in this way, before now. How can I not after seeing him without that mask of a joker? He wares it so well that one would believe those are the only emotions he truly feels.

Whatever may happen, we are here for you, Duo. We are all here...