Disclaimer: Neither Slayers nor the "mind-switch-cliché" belong to me. (Of course, if they did, the world would probably implode, so I guess it's for the best.)
The Obligatory Mind-Switch Fanfic
(aka The Beautiful, Young Sorceress has Some Trouble With Her Lackeys)
Our scene opens on the beautiful young sorceress as she calmly ate her breakf-WHAT?! Oh, fine. You want me to be accurate, I'll be accurate.
Ahem. Our scene opens on a the beautiful young sorceress as she hungrily scarfed down several servings of the most dee-licious waffles and bacon and sausage and-
"Gourry! Let GO!"
"But, Li-na!"
"No buts. Just gimme the pancakes and nobody gets hurt."
"But they're my pancakes!"
"GOURRY!!!"
And so, the beautiful young sorceress was satisfied, and the horrible, treacherous swordsman got what was coming to him. Heh-heh. Suddenly the door to the inn's dining room flung open.
"Hiii, everyone!" Amelia exclaimed with an odd smirk. "Love, peace, justice, etcera etcetera." She sat down at the table and started sipping some tea.
My extremely well-tuned sorceress-senses informed me that something was amiss. For one thing, Amelia never shortened her morning justice speeches. EVER. For another, that was Zelgadis's tea. No one is allowed to drink Zelgadis's tea.
"Someone's drinking my tea."
Not good.
"Oh Zelgadis-san! I'm SOOO sorry!" Amelia jumped up from her seat, ran over to Zel, and glomped him around the neck. Yes, you heard me right. Glomped.
"A…mel…ia." Zelgadis seemed too stunned to speak. Or maybe it was just because his air supply had been cut off by Projectile Priestess. (Hey, I could start a circus! Amelia could be the human cannonball, and Zelgadis could be the sideshow fr-AAGH! Get off me, Zel-girls! I didn't mean it!)
"OhI'msosorryIdidn'tmeanittheteawasjustsittingthereZELGADIS!"
"Wha?"
"HOLD ME!"
"Um…er…fine."
Okay, now I'm really confused. The only thing that could make this moment any more awkward would be…
"EEEEK!!! MISS LI-NA!" My thoughts (and eardrums) were shattered by a deafening scream. Funny, that sounds like…
"Oh, Miss Lina, whathappenedwhathappenedWHATHAPPENED?!" I suddenly realized Xelloss was shivering and sobbing into my arm.
Wait.
XELLOSS?!
"What…are you doing?"
"Oh, Miss Lina! It's horrible!"
"Dija get in trouble with Zelas or something?"
"Zelas? Who's that, Miss Lina?"
Now I KNOW something's wrong.
"Who are you?"
Xelloss sniffed. "Amelia."
Say WHAT, now?
"You …CAN'T… be Amelia," I said, pronouncing everything slowly and carefully. "Amelia's over…THERE." I pointed over to the corner.
"ZELGADIS-SAAAN!!!" The-Xelloss-that-calls-itself-Amelia ran to the Chimera-that-is-hugging-the-girl-who-doesn't-quite-act-like-Amelia and flung his...her...its arms around him.
"What's going on here? XELLOSS! GET! OFF!" Using his chimeric strength (Why does he want to become a human, again?), he pried TXTCIA off of his neck. It wasn't going to go down without a fight, however.
"WAAAH! Mister Zelga-dis!" It sobbed. "It's truly unjust to treat me like this! I demand that that…that…imposter let go of you at once!"
TGWDQALA stuck its tongue out. "NYAAAH! I got him first, imposter!"
"How DARE you use my own justice-filled vocabulary against me! I shall smite you in the name of-"
"ENOUGH!" Zel pushed the two away from each other. "I've heard enough."
"Yes, Mister Zelgadis?" They said in unison.
"I have decided that I only have one thing I need to do to solve this."
"Yes, Mister Zelgadis?"
He began to smirk. "LIFE IS WONDERFUL! LIVING IS MARVELOUS!"
"Go Zel!" The beautiful, young sorceress was surprised that he had it in him.
"THE WORLD IS OVERFLOWING WITH LIGHT AND JOY!"
TGWDQALA began to look ill. With a sickening thud, it fell to the floor.
"Hooray for Mister Zelgadis!" TXTCIA re-attatched itself to his neck.
Zel forced a smile. "How did this happen, anyway?"
TO BE CONTINUED...
