1. Marines if annoyed may make your life living hell but the scientists will make it unbearable. Trust me no hot water/heating isn't fun.
2. Remember out here we're the aliens. I strongly advise you not to show disrespect/disgust towards local's customs it can lead to all sorts of trouble and pain.
3. Trying to escape the infirmary is pointless. Your only reward is the big needles.
4. We never leave a man behind.
5. Remember nothing stays secret around here for long. Gossip is practically our local religion.
6. Never make assumptions. I've lost count the amount of times we've gone to a planet that's supposed to be uninhabited only to wind up being attacked by irate natives/wraith/genii.
7. Don't upset Apollo/Daedalus crews (or whatever ship you have now) as they're the ones responsible for delivering supplies. If you do upset them, you'll probably still get your supplies just not in the condition you would've liked.
8. Remember that women on Atlantis talk during girl's poker night. Upsetting one will inevitably end up in upsetting them all. Marines & Scientists are deadly when they conspire with each other.
9. Don't taunt Murphy. It's an excellent way to ensure a mission goes south fast.
10. Do not even think the phrases 'how bad can it be', 'what could possibly go wrong' or 'how can this get any worse'. Because Pegasus will rise to the challenge every time.
11. Each team (/pilot) has their own jumper, best to ask permission before entering it. Otherwise it can turn nasty rather quickly.
12. If you're ATA + be careful what you touch. There's been countless incidents some humorous but mostly dangerous because of careless gene carriers. For evidence see Dr McKay's list.
13. Basic weapons training is essential. Knowing some basic combat is also helpful, marines are always willing to help with this.
14. If you don't know how to swim, learn fast. Need I say it you've been assigned to a floating city.
15. Volunteering for things off world isn't a good idea. There's been a few expedition members' unwittingly married.
16. Don't trade weapons or leave them off world. I can't stress enough how annoying it gets being shot at by your own weapons.
17. Always have a plan B, as plan A usually fails, a plan C is advisable.
18. We don't take Alcohol off world only bring it back (via trade agreement). If you want to know why ask any of the original SG1 members.
19. Diplomacy almost never hurt anyone. Honestly it's probably best to give it a go.
20. Crazy ideas are usually the one's that save the day. For evidence see Brigadier General Lorne's list which contains idea's from Atlantis & the SGC, It's a good read.
21. Nothing is idiot proof.
22. Always listen to the locals their myths/legends came from somewhere. We've stumbled across some rather scary/dangerous creatures over the years because we failed to do this.
23. Using the gate for anything other than visiting other planets will just give everyone a head ache & create way too much paperwork. By that I mean time travel & visiting alternate realities.
24. Remember appearances can be deceptive. I've lost count of the times a bunch of seemingly friendly bunch of natives have turned out to be anything but. Genii for example.
25. Listen when people shout duck, & don't shout duck unless people need to. Needless to say we all know the story about the boy who cried wolf.
26. When off world always keep a close eye on your gear. I direct you back to my comment about tip 16.
27. Don't try to out drink the locals. Many have tried & ended up in the infirmary.
28. Don't trust the wraith, apart from Todd.
39. If their armed don't try & be smart/cute or mock them. The result isn't pretty: I have the scars to prove it.
30. Always respect your team. They're the ones who'll have your back if things go pear shaped.
31. Never mess with a scientist's coffee if you want to live. Probably a good idea to stay clear of Marine's coffee to.
32. If you think you're being watched, you probably are. & it's generally not a good thing.
33. Befriend the cooks. Need I say more.
34. Never turn up late for duty. The person your relieving won't be happy & will find a way to pay you back.
35. Take chocolate off world, it's useful for bribing children. This is particularly important if you're visiting M7G-677 which is full of children. Chocolate is also useful for bribing your geek (scientist) especially when trying to drag them away from something their interested in.
36. Never break a promise you've made with Todd. It's how we gained his trust in the first place. For more details read the file, it's not something I like to talk about.
37. Don't attempt to bribe the medical staff. If it didn't work for me & I'm the military commander it won't work for you, they treat it the same as tip 3.
38. If your military i suggest you befriend some geeks, as they are the one's with the distilleries. Your military commander will know where to obtain the moonshine.
39. If you stumble across an illegal still please contact the military commander. Who will then sample the product to make sure it's good quality & not rocket fuel, in which case their'll pretend they never knew about it.
leaders learn what makes your geek tick. Chances are you'll be the only one they listen to.
41. Unfortunately paperwork has to be done. Procrastinating about it will only annoy the expedition leader.
42. Keep paperwork concise without omitting vital information. After all your senior office generally wants to read it about as much as you want to write it.
43. Departmental meetings are mandatory. They're a good place to catch up (with gossip) & generally to share thoughts/complaints.
44. Always assume wildlife is hostile despite it's cute/cuddly status. Think baby tigers.
45. All bets go through the chief gate technician.
46. Don't invite uninvited guests to Atlantis take them to the alpha site. Reasons can be found in the Lucius file or alternatively known as the pheromone pedaling shyster file.
47. Please be considerate in the corridors outside crew quarters. People on night shifts, will be sleeping during the day.
48. It takes a lot of bullets to kill a wraith. I mean a lot.
59. C4 is not to be traded off world, the results aren't pretty. That's not just what the natives can do with it. Lt Colonel Cadman isn't pleasant when annoyed.
50. Don't set fires inside, the amount of water the sprinklers produce isn't funny. Nor is the sound of the fire alarm.
51. During unscheduled off world activation's only heavily armed security personnel are allowed in the gate room. Unless you have a death wish.
52. Turn electrical items such as lights & plugs off once you're finished with them. The ZPM isn't an unlimited power supply & you certainly don't want to caught by Dr McKay. Let's learn from our mistakes on Earth guys.
53. Girls poker night is for girls only. You will receive no sympathy from Dr Beckett should you disregard this rule.
54. Scientists please inform everyone at least an hour prior to doing anything with the cities power & give an all clear message once your done. For warned is for armed.
55. Don't use the transporters while the geeks are messing with the power. Chances are you'll end somewhere miles away from where you wanted.
56. Always expected the unexpected. Remember out here anything can & probably will happen. Kinda like Eureka.
57. Just because it happened to the SGC/an SG doesn't mean it won't happen here. For example see file on replicators.
58. If the cities veteran's tell you something listen. We've been here long enough to know what we're talking about (most of the time).
59. Pulling pranks is fine, just not when the IOA are visiting.
60. Scientist's ATA gene carriers are not human guinea pigs. It's seriously annoying being asked to switch things on all the time.
Just some light-hearted fun because I was bored, will get updated as & when i have new idea's.
Please review & if you have any idea's please let me know.
