"It wasn't your burden to bear."
"But I did bear it."
Lying naked on the bed, hot, sweaty and spent - legs tangled together and breaths mingling - William Turner stared into his beloved's eyes.
"I missed you so much..." Will whispered, wriggling in closer to the other Captain and nuzzling his own nose against Jack's. It still sounded strange to Will. Captain Turner. He now had to get used to the idea of
"Don't go all soft on me, William," Jack tried to sound cocky, but it came out sounding affectionate and playful. Both men simply smiled at each other, basking in the warmth of each other's body heat.
"You love me really," Will sighed, gently closing his eyes to let sleep overcome him.
"Yea, I do."
Will's eyes snapped open as Jack's widened. Did he really just tell Will he loved him?
"Jack?" Will quietly called out to the other man, bringing him back out of his panicked thoughts.
"Huh?"
"Did you mean it?"
"Mean what?"
"What you said."
"What did I say?" this caused Will to roll his eyes at the man's attempt to avoid the situation.
"That you loved me!" he said a little louder.
"Yes!"
"Yes what?" Will decided he would play the game, too.
"YES, I meant that I love you, DAMNIT!" Jack 's mood rapidly turned from embarrassment to rage, as he yanked his body away from his lover, and turned away to sit on the edge of the bed, facing the wall of the cabin.
Will sighed behind him. That man's temper..., he thought.
"I..." Jack started, taking a brief second to collect his thoughts, "Just don't make me say it again, William. I... I never wanted to say that. Ever. At least not until someone said it to me first..." the distraught Captain's voice cracked on the last word. Jack covered his face with his hands in an attempt to stop himself from shedding a tear.
"Jack? Please... tell me what's wrong?" he pressed, tentatively placing a warm, tan hand on Jack's smooth, bare shoulder.
The soothing tone in Will's voice only made Jack want to scream out in frustration as the memories he'd tried to bury for so many years all came flooding back at once. The elder sighed shakily, realising he'd have to tell Will. Tell him why he was so afraid to love...
"My parents..." he started, spitting out the words bitterly, "They never really liked me. Sure, I got along with my Dad, but only because I became a pirate after he did. But then, when he found out I was one of the nine pirate lords..." he let out a shaky breath, "It was like he changed completely. He was a different person around me, always putting me down, telling me I wasn't good enough. I just seemed to get in his way all the time. So... I left. He obviously didn't want to know me, so I decided I didn't want to know him either."
Will moved his arm further over Jack's shoulder, wrapping his right arm around the man properly; he could feel the slight shudders vibrating through Jack's body. Will had never seen the pirate like this: so broken, sad and vulnerable. He didn't like it; he didn't like seeing the man he cared so deeply for in so much pain. Physically, whenever Jack got hurt, Will got worried, but that man survived everything. Emotionally... it was a whole different story.
Jack continued, "And my mother?" he let out a short, humorless laugh, "Boy, wasn't she a character... never one for parenthood, her. Just wasn't cut out for it. I don't blame her, though, having me as a damn kid-"
"Don't you dare say that!" Will spoke loudly and clearly, making Jack jump a little. Will got off the bed and crouched on the floor in front of his lover, "Jack, how can you say that about yourself?"
"It's true, isn't it?" Jack asked him quietly, "No one would want me. And no one's ever said they loved me - not even my parents. All I got from them was a big ol' plate of rejection. All I wanted to do was to make them proud, make them see that maybe I could be worthy of their love," he scoffed, "And look how I turned out-"
"I love you."
Jack looked into the dark, chocolate orbs of Will, "What?"
"I said that I love you."
"N-no... you're just saying that because of what I've just said-"
"No I'm not," Will cut Jack off, speaking firmly, "Look, I really do love you, Jack. I've loved you ever since the first day I laid my eyes on you..."
"When we were trying to kill each other?" Jack couldn't help but smile slightly at the memory shining through the bleak ones still shrouding his mind.
"Yes, but... I was defending a woman's honour. Not that I really should've... I honestly don't know what I ever saw in her..." Will whispered, looking down, thinking about Elizabeth. Sure, he cared about her, and they had known each other since childhood, but the mere feelings he had felt for her were nothing compared to what he felt for the witty man in front of him: love.
"She's a lucky woman, Elizabeth..." Jack said absentmindedly.
"What do you mean?" Will furrowed his brows in confusion.
"... She got there first..." Jack said, his voice quiet and soft as if expressing hurt, and he was.
"Jack... no she didn't,"
Jack's head snapped up, "What?"
Will smiled, rubbing Jacks knuckles in his hand with his thumb, "You were my first..." he brought his hand up to cup Jack's cheek gently, "It was always going to be you. Even if I had to make sure of it myself," both men chuckled lightly.
"Well, I have to admit..." Jack blushed, slightly embarassed: "You were my first, too..."
"Really?" Will's face lit up. Jack smiled at the young man he loved so dearly in front of him.
"Really."
Will smiled, standing up a little to press a soft, tender kiss to Jack's lips. Jack kissed back gently; this was no longer a time for passion like it had been all but 10 minutes ago. No, this was just pure, sweet love, between two men that no amount of rejection, sadness, and angst could ever tear it apart. Will slowly pulled away, gazing into the other Captain's eyes.
"I love you,"
Jack sighed, "I know."
"And even if I'm the only person in this world who has said that to you, take it as a good thing."
"Why?"
"Because it means you're mine..." he moved forward once again, ghosting his lips over the sensitive skin of Jack's neck. Jack shuddered.
"Show me..." me whispered.
"Show you what?" Will muttered against the man's neck.
"...How much you love me..." Jack moved around again to kiss Will, and as they fell back on the bed together, passion once again returned to the room, all with the silent but oh-so-sweet undertones of the most powerful emotion I the world.
Love.
So, the burdens Jack had to carry for the whole of his life? They didn't go away completely, but Will always helped. All the times they lost with Jack not being with him (Will preferred not to think about that) and due to Elizabeth were all replaced in those moments.
Love.
I've changed the events slightly to suit this story, and the timing might not be entirely clear, so here is some context: this is set after At World's End, Will is the Dutchman's Captain, Elizabeth and Will never 'married' and their relationship terminated at the end of Dead Man's Chest.
Jack's aura when he was with his Dad in a couple of scenes wasn't very good, to say the least. It made me want to create a past for him, and make Jack seem a little more vulnerable (hence why Will and Jack may seem OOC); maybe this could be the reason he likes to 'Fight... to run away!'.
