Following the events of Red vs Blue episode 100, Church is really bummed out since Tex was destroyed and didn't come back. But is she really, actually, dead? It's a lot better than it sounds.
After The Explosion
Foraging Can Be Hard To Do
Private Leonard Church trudged through the undergrowth, unsure if he really actually wanted to find anything.
It was a traumatic experience. Tex, the girl he pretended to hate but loved deep down, had sacrificed everything to destroy O'Malley, her psychotic AI bent on destroying the world and enslaving an entire species.
He remembered her, exactly as she had been before Donut had tossed that grenade and killed her. Long, flowing red hair with those deep green-in-the-spring-and-black-every-other-season eyes, her thin, tanned face and long legs and arms with the birthmark in the exact shape of Texas on her shoulder, right at the base of her neck. He remembered tracing it with his finger; or more often than not, his tongue, while lovingly caressing her curvy torso.
Unknowingly, he had forgotten what he was trying to do. He'd been trying to find surviving bits of the ship Tex had been on when Andy detonated.
Growling, he remembered how he'd asked Sarge to disable the ship and how Sarge had deliberately gotten Andy to explode and destroy the ship.
Tucker was mourning over the loss of Junior, his gross alien love child.
Caboose was mourning over the loss of Sheila, the AI who had been in their tank but had been transferred to the ship and had also been blown up in the explosion.
But no one cared about Tex.
Sure, Sarge was a little upset that she wouldn't be coming over to the Red Team, but no one was truly losing sleep over her.
No one but a certain cobalt Spartan by the name of Church, that is.
Sure, they'd had their fights but that didn't mean he didn't care about her. After all, she'd been his girlfriend. Those days back at the Spartan Research Facility on Reach had been great. Sneaking into the Test Subjects Quarters and going on panty raids (Conveniently, they had always been in Tex's and California's quarters) had been great, though a little scary when Tex had walked in only wearing a towel after a hard day of training. The cobalt soldier always smiled when he remembered Tex, so flustered she nearly dropped the towel, had stood so stunned he'd been able to steal a quick kiss and whisper, "Nice panties, cutie." Then sprint from the room as fast as he could.
Suddenly, he was snapped out of his adulterated thoughts of the gorgeous freelancer when he tripped over something metal.
"Ouch, Church. That was not nice. It is impolite to kick someone." It was Sheila. Or, some of her anyway. A chip lay on the ground labeled with 1's and 0's. Goddamn it. Tex had known how to decipher it but she'd never told him how. He picked it up and shoved it none-too-gently into the waterproof pocket in the back of his armor.
"Sorry, Shelia. Did somehow Tex escape the explosion?"
"No, there was only one escape pod. Tex shoved Junior into it and launched it, but she stayed on the ship. Oh, and before we blew up, Tex said, 'Bye.' She sounded like she was going to miss you. You as in plural." His heart sank. Tex had saved Junior but hadn't saved herself. He had once thought Tex was selfish and inconsiderate. Now, he saw her in a whole new light. He saw a noble, altruistic girl who had the courage and the heart to save the grotesque infant from certain destruction.
"But, I did see some of her body and armor land in that clearing over there, if that helps."
"Thanks, Sheila." Crashing through the bracken towards aforementioned clearing, he thought to himself, "What are you doing this for? Tex is just some bitch. Why should you care?"
"Because you love her, that's why. Even Gamma could see that." A happy voice cooed in his ears.
"Fuck that, you don't love her. She cheated on you." An angry, jealous voice growled in response.
"So? You weren't that interesting of a guy. Just a Blue private. Maybe if you'd been a captain or a sergeant she would have liked you more and been loyal." Now, that was insulting but he knew it was true. He figured that was the side that only told the bitter truth. And the other two had been Anger or maybe the guy who denied that he loved her, and the side that longed for settling down with a girl, preferably Tex. Goddamn, he hated asking himself questions. He was always the only one who answered him.
The thought of Gamma brought back memories of talking to Gary about his friends, enemies and comrades in the Gulch.
"Hey, Gary. How's that time machine comin'?"
"All right. Tell me, Church. What was it like in Blood Gulch? Tell me about the people."
"Heh, not much to tell but fine. I guess I'll start with the other Blues. Well, there's Tucker. He's a moron, less than Caboose but still a moron. He thinks girls like him a lot and are attracted to him. I hate him and I hope he dies. And I get to watch."
"Ah, I see. A womanizer."
"Yeah, then there's Caboose. He's the one who killed me and he's so fucking stupid. I hate him and I hope he dies, I'll be laughing when he does."
"Okay…"
"And then… there's Tex. She's a huge bitch, but she's pretty take charge and knows a lot of stuff. Also, she was pretty hot and I dated her. Not a very loyal girl, but she had my back if I ever needed her to watch it for me. She's a freelancer and maybe the most deadly soldier in the canyon, except Sheila, our tank, may hold that title. But I think Tex'll eventually snatch it from Sheila, seeing as she can take out whole squads of soldiers and do it silently if she wants. She had this crazy, psychotic, evil AI in her head that made her into a super soldier. When he was in control, she had no fuckin' mercy. She did spare me when she killed my entire squad back at Sidewinder though, so maybe she was learning to control him."
"Plus, you're…"
"What? I'm what?"
"You know…"
"No I don't know. What the fuck am I?"
"Secretly in love with her. It's obvious, I mean out of the three you mentioned, she was the only one you didn't say 'I hate her and I hope she dies' for. And you talked about her the most."
"No way! I am not in love with Tex!"
"You're denial only makes me think more that you love her."
"Oh fuck you, Gary."
"Love: An intense feeling of deep affection, or a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. Hence, you love Tex. Simple as that."
"You're crazy if you think I love that bitch."
"No, you're crazy. Crazy for Tex. Ha ha ha."
"Oh, just keep working on that time machine and quit trying to figure me out. I DON'T LOVE TEX! IN FACT, I HATE HER SO MUCH, I'M GOING TO SPIT ON AND DANCE ON HER GRAVE!"
"Whatever you say, Church."
"Fine, I'm glad we got that straightened out. Now, about the Reds. There's Sarge, he's their leader, which is good, 'cuz he's not that good of a leader. There's Donut, he's pretty harmless, unless you piss him off. He killed Tex that way. And Grif, he's really lazy so I wouldn't be scared of him but maybe he'll surprise one day. And last is Simmons, he's a freakin' know-it-all and annoying and whiney (A/N: I have no idea how to spell that. He just whines a lot, okay?). Oh, and he's a kiss-ass. He kisses up to Sarge all the time, man."
"Ah, sounds like a very eventful canyon you have out there, Church."
"Define "eventful". It gets pretty slow and boring out there but that's good since we'd have been dead long ago if we were always being attacked."
"Eventful: Marked by-"
"Never mind, Gary. Figure of speech."
He frowned. Did he actually love Tex? No he couldn't, she dumped him and when he'd asked her why, she'd said, "I'm just afraid I might hurt you, now that O'Malley's swimming around in my head."
Sighing, he saw a glint coming out of a charred pile of rubble. Putting down the pieces of Tex's armor he'd found, he gasped at what he saw. Tex's torso was intact and in one hand was a necklace he'd once given her. It was of the biggest state in the United States of America and her home state. Texas.
Tears prickling his eyes, he pried open her hand and pulled the silver necklace from it.
'Oh my fuckin' god, I really do love her.' The realization hit him like a jolt of electricity, only worse.
Church carried her armor, which was surprisingly light despite the others' being around 800 pounds, back through the forest and back to the base, sneaking it into his room and stashing it under his bed. 'I'll find something to do with it later.'
Shoving the armor under his bed had revealed a small wooden box, one he'd vowed never to open again. A while back, when Tex would dump him or cheat on him, he'd open that box and pull out pictures of them together and suddenly realize why he always went out with her.
With a sigh and a metallic clank the silver charm necklace disappeared into the box. Then, the Blue soldier realized that since he was the only one grieving over the loss of the freelancer, that he should be the only one to hold a funeral for her. Tucker and Caboose were planning a funeral for Sheila and Junior, so why not have a private one for Tex? A rare smile spread across his face. He realized it was the first smile he'd smiled since the ship had blown up.
He picked up a nearby phone and dialed in a number he'd dialed years ago. After a few rings, the cobalt clad soldier started to wonder if the service still existed. Thankfully, he heard, "Hello, you've reached the Mourners' Tombstone and Funeral Emporium. You've reached Darth. How may I help ease your pain?" (A/N: Tee hee. Mourners' Tombstone and Funeral Emporium. I made that up. Makes me laugh, though)
"Hey, I'm a soldier and my girlfriend just got killed in a huge explosion. I need something to remember her by. I was thinking a tombstone and maybe a small funeral would be good to honor her memory."
"Sure, okay. What do you want written on the stone? Any specific carvings you want drawn on it? What type of stone do you want?"
"I'd like it to say, "In loving memory of Freelancer Tex, who sacrificed everything to save us. I never told you this, but I love you. Church" and I was wondering if you could put a carving of Texas on it, and a Spartan helmet. Have you ever seen one of those?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good, and I want that all in a nice, granite stone. Oh, and when will this be done?"
"Well, you can pay double and have it done and out there by today, if you want."
"Perfect. Ring it up. I'm faxing you the coordinates."
"Okay, expect it in around three hours."
As the two hung up, the rare smile on Church's face widened to an even rarer grin. Tex would be happy that he'd paid that much for her funeral. If only she could know.
Now, all he had to do is get Caboose and Tucker out of the base for a few hours. And far enough away so they couldn't see what he'd bought.
That was going to take a lot of hard work and a few miracles.
A few thousand miracles.
End Chapter
Sorry it's so short. If enough people like it, I'll continue with it.
