DISCLAIMER

This is mostly a joke of mine. Hence the peeing bit and the stereotypical ending. Please enjoy though :)

A beautiful way to begin the night is to lay in your bed, tired from the long day, holding your penis, and wondering how wonderful these next few hours are gonna be. In all honesty, I had no intentions of doing this at first. I mean Harry has been my best friend for a long time. And isn't your best friend suppose to feel like your brother? But I have no say in that since I'm not exactly the smartest person in the universe. Let alone this band.

I couldn't stop holding myself, since I really had in all thought, the idea that I really shouldn't be doing this. It's not that I was losing my virginity or anything. More over, the understanding that I was at the probability of sex with my best friend. In some ways, I wanted this. I wanted this so much I couldn't stop twitching while I laid there. Harry has a fuckin sexy body, and supposedly is good in bed. I take Liam's word on that. And though I intently wanted to feel his smooth, lovely skin rubbing against my groin, I also was in complete terror. It's one of those blankly horrific moments when you wonder, "What the fuck.." And yet you hypocritically wonder, "Why not?"

My mind was a completely boggle mess last night, and to be honest, I never regretted any of it. I didn't regret one second of it.

I had seen Harry naked.

But he had never seen me naked.

And never, in all my lifetime, had I though we'd be this close. I am not homophobic, but I had never kissed or touched a man before.

There was this urging curiosity that led me into Harry's pants. I laid alone in my bed, easing my nervousness, and releasing my tight grip around my crotch, waiting for Harry to get done in the bathroom.

I remember every moment as if it were happening again. And I still love every moment. I still feel his breath on my neck. I hope I never forget that night for the rest of my life.

I had sex with only one partner before this. Heather Stevens. I was young, 13, and uneducated in sex, so we went unprotected. Thankfully she never got fully our sexual experience was safe from our parents knowledge.

Though I was no longer a virgin, I had no clue of how to handle a man. I had experienced the awkward stages of sex through a vagina, which honestly wasn't all too pleasant, but I had no idea of where to put myself on a man. Anal wasn't exactly my first thoughts.

With my mind racing so much, I acquired a migraine that I really knew wasn't at the best timing. In a grotesque manner, I tried to massage it away. Of course, Harry walked in at that coincidental moment and stared at me. I knew he could tell that I was nervous.

Harry is gentle. And by the look on his face, I could tell he wasn't going to be hard on me. Harry may act all tough, but that doesn't mean his toughness is always gonna come out.

Harry isn't as tough as they all say. I just don't enjoy to admit my honest feelings for him. Since I'll obviously be the only one to ever read this, I can let them out and write them down.

Just a list will do.

-Harry isn't as tough as I think he is.

-I thought his appearance was just boring, but I honestly have an undeniable attraction to him.

-If Harry ever left me, I'd probably hide in a closet, cry my eyes out, and not come out for days.

To be completely fucking honest, I sometimes fear that I always do so many stupid things. I've never done anything this crazy before. I truthfully know that I've thought of doing some stupid things, though.

I remember Harry watching my eyes carefully, while he just stood at the foot of the bed, tugging at his shirt.

I can't exactly deny how fucking sexy he looked standing there. His soft brown eyes slowly moving towards the window. I could feel the strangest tingling sensation in my stomach. As if butterflies were flitting in my tummy trying to find a way out.

Harry remained at the foot of the bed. I laid under the quilt, hiding my excitement.

I wasn't expecting for much to happen. Not until he slipped his shirt over his arms. The flitting in my stomach intensed. I couldn't help but take a moment to examine his chest. Well. Honestly, to examine his nipples. I looked away quickly, though, once his eyes met mine again.

I slowly looked back as he grabbed the corner of the blanket and tore it off. Though I had nothing to hide, I reflexively covered myself and hunched into a ball. Then I released the tenseness in my muscles. I opened my eyes to find him next to me. His hand held my face, rubbed towards the tip of my chin, and stopped at the hair clustering at the end.

I knew what he was doing. I knew what I was supposed to do, but I was completely frozen.

He smiled at me and I responsively smiled back. He leaned forward, holding my face slightly to a slant, then dragged his lower lip on mine. I stayed completely still. He pushed his other hand back through my hair, which I'm normally very strict about, but I strangely kept quiet.

His lips met mine again. And did so several more times. Just him quickly pecking in. By the fourth or fifth movement, his lips finally stayed pressed to mine. I instinctively moved my hand up to his face, and felt his tongue struggle to squeeze into my mouth. And I let him in.

My own tongue licked and dashed around his while we moved carefully, almost eating each other's face. Once I finally began to feel comfortable with this, he pressed back into my "no touchy" areas.

It started when he lifted my shirt up, slipped his hand under, and pinched my nipples. I could feel them harden and I shivered slightly, praying that Harry didn't notice. He rubbed my chest slowly, constantly kissing my neck, and sucking the flesh. I didn't really know what to do, so I sat there, staring. I could feel him chewing, and as ticklish as I was, I giggled in the most horridly girly voice I could've mustered. Fuck.

Of course, Harry looked up, laughing at that. Just fuck.

Eventually, Harry had slipped my shirt entirely off. Even though I had been shirtless plenty of times, I felt so fucking naked.

Harry's lips caressed one of my nipples, and he sucked on it, occasionally biting. I could feel this hot sensation building up in my testicles, and ultimately moved my legs around uncomfortably. Harry lifted his face from my tit, carefully dragging his fingers to my pants, and stopping at the button.

I had never pondered the average size of the penis before. I actually thought mine was average. I obviously had a lot to learn.

Harry unbuttoned my pants, and took no time or thought in tearing my zipper down.

I had every intention to slap him, but I remained shy and awkward and just watched.

Harry scooted down and climbed over, kneeling above my thighs. He held the lip of my pants, slipping them down slowly, which only drove my impatience crazy. He had gotten them down to about my hips, then placed his fingers against my pubic hairs. I had never been touched down there before by anyone, besides myself. And that feeling of heat rushed to my cheeks. Harry wasted no time to rip my pants down to my feet. He didn't look at my cock, until my pants were off entirely.

He looked up, and I instantly saw his expression change. Under his breath, I could hear him whisper, "Oh my god..."

I felt terribly uncomfortable, wondering if my penis was possibly misshapen. Instead, he climbed back onto me immediately grabbing it, and without hesitation, squeezed as hard as possible. My leg twitched, my face burned, and I could feel this heaviness in my dick, realizing it was getting massively hard. He continued squeezing, while pulling up my shaft, and licking his lips. I had no idea why he was so intent. And then I saw the semen. It shot from my penis into his open mouth, occasionally missing, and slamming into his face. He didn't seem to mind. Just continued to try to capture as much as possible into his mouth.

Out of no where, he planted his lips on the tip, rubbing the base of the shaft and around the scrotum. I continued to feel the hot cum explode into his mouth like a torrent. He seemed to have complete enjoyment in this and sucked hard on the tip.

He held the sides of my legs, pushing them farther apart, and moved his face down to my testicles. I was somewhat amazed to see my dick still standing. Harry's mouth suddenly wrapped around my scrotum, being squeezed in his mouth, then popped it back out. He did this a few more times, before returning to my penis. He held the base firmly, then began to sink my penis into his mouth father and farther. I could feel pushing on the tip. Gag reflexes. And then Harry began to gag. He turned his head to the side of the bed, spitting into my waste basket, then looked back at me.

He stood straight on his knees, opened his pants and pulled them down. He faced away from me, slipping down his underwear and the first thing I could do, was helplessly stare at his ass. Without further thought, like an idiot, I grabbed it. Harry looked back, smiled, and nodded. I guessed that this meant that I had full access to his anus.

But I was so curious, and planted my face right up his ass. I licked. Just little laps. Nothing too hard or complex, but I could tell Harry wanted more. So I began to chew, and move my head with each movement. Harry kept his ass up, while laying the rest of his body down. I took a deep breath, then shoved my middle finger up his anus, pushing it in and out quickly. That was the first time I heard Harry moan. It was low and soft. And I liked the sound of it. I liked that I had caused it.

I laid on my back, and slid under Harry's open legs. His penis hung down just far enough that it hit my nose, and he instantly began to secrete semen again. I held onto it, without thinking, and shoved it into my mouth, closed my eyes, and welcomed the heat back to my face. Harry didn't seem to mind. He reached to his shaft, pulled up and down, letting his semen pour into my mouth. I gagged it out of my mouth, yet didn't feel the need to stop.

Eventually, I found the courage to place the tip between my teeth, than gently moved my lips against it. The semen tasted salty. And I couldn't help it. I loved it. Harry finally flipped me over, pushing me onto my stomach and pinning me down.

He held a plastic like object in his hand, some sort of latex, and pulled it up around his penis, letting it snap tightly against the base of his shaft.

He held my ass, spreading me farther apart, and then I felt it enter.

I hadn't known in the slightest that sex felt like this on the receiving end.

And god, how I loved it.

He moved in slowly at first, and I could feel his long cock getting hard inside of my body. He began to move faster. And harder. Basically, slamming his pelvic area into my ass. It felt so damn good, and I involuntarily moaned "Harry.." at the top of my lungs. I held my mouth in surprise, and realized my body was asking for more. Which he responsively gave me. Damn, he was good. And every thrust made me even more horny.

Eventually, he stopped.

He kept his dick lined between my ass, but not in it. Just moved it between. He held my waist, insisting that I now do him.

I was struck with terror, but I obediently got up and Harry laid on his back. He opened his legs, held up his penis and left room for me to get up his anus. I tried to do the same that Harry had done. And I slipped my hard cock into his ass. His butthole didn't seem as tight as I had expected, but I do realize that he's had sex many times. I started to move slow, like Harry had.

And moved myself in. Farther. And farther. And farther. Until I realized Harry was actually crying. His face was red and he was biting his lip, holding his thighs with clenched fists. I immediately moved back out and he relaxed.

I asked if he was alright and he simply nodded. So I slipped in, not as far this time, and grinded against his skin, realizing how much I needed this. Harry moaned just as loudly as I had. He'd breathe words constantly. Like, "Louis", "Faster", or "agonize me". I honestly didn't want to hurt him. So I didn't do as he said.

Which made me feel guilty. So, I finally gave in and shoved my cock in all the way. And he bled. Right down my legs, and all over his anus. Harry told me it has happened before and promised me there was nothing to worry about, to just ignore it.

So I did. He went back to sucking my nipples, which I learned to enjoy immensely. Though I don't ever want to say. He turned over to his back, and whispered something to me, but I honestly couldn't hear. So he repeated it louder, nodding and asking me to urine on him.

I really did have to pee...

And it'd be awkward to just leave for a bathroom break during sex. So I did as I was told and urinated all over him, and he just smiled, and rubbed it up and down his chest.

I couldn't have felt any more awkward or embarrassed after that, but it's what he wanted..

He later got up and hopped in the shower. I laid, once again, completely desolate in bed. The thoughts of what I had just done to him were crashing down through my head. I felt so stupid that I got caught up in the moment with him and followed all his commands.

The night grew darker and all I really remember from there was Harry getting ready to turn in, when I asked him to ride me to sleep.

Fuck. In some ways I found that night to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. That nothing better could come. Not even my favourite ice cream flavour could top this.

I still believe nothing can top this. Because I now know I am in love with him. And I am so happy that he has now agreed to go out with me. So I want to leave this journal entry in the best way possible because someday when I'm married to Harry, I might show him this. So I hope to be this happy for the rest of my life. I know there may be rough times,but I know it will always get better.

Goodnight, journal