a/n: Hello my lovelies,( is that how people usually start?) ok*ahem* this is NOT my first fic, my first fic is an embarrestment... anyway, this is my OFFICIAL first fic, if you guys can see it that way...soooo, please leave reviews. i have an easily breakable heart... sorry for any mistakes in the story, REVIEW and i'll change it. enjoy!

PROLOGUE

Harry…

Harry…

Cedric screams, his face is twisted, pleading, calling out. Harry tries his hardest to loosen the grasp around his neck, but it tightens, inexorably gagging him; he kicks at the figure with Cedric's face on it. a minute ago it was Dobby's, his large, globe-like eyes staring into emptiness , before that it was Dumbledore, blood trickling down his half-moon glasses…he knows what comes next and,of course, shortly it becomes a cloaked form, the hood falls off and Harry finds himself staring at the face of Voldermort himself. The darkness which engulfed him a minute ago turns into an arena. A Hungarian Horntail is feeding onto the remains of what appears to be Fred Weasley, or George, for the matter, but it is almost impossible to tell from the distance. Molly cries, yelling a mixture of sadness, grief and despair… Arthur laments, holding onto Molly, the only anchor he has… His parents and Sirius stand at the sides cheering him on, but the louder they seem to yell, the weaker he seems to be able to fend off Voldermort's curses…

Avada Kedavra

Voldermort laughs as the green flash hits harry full on the face. he turns just in time to see his children and Ginny shaking their heads in disappointment, he turns to the other side, unable to look them straight in the eyes….and sees his parents gaze at him sadly, walking away…

No…..

Harry….

No…no...

Harry…

No…no…no...no,no,no…

He yells… Ginny is next to him telling him it's all right, soothing his messy hair. it was all a nightmare, she tells him, we're in bed, safe and sound. She murmurs words of comfort while harry stares into space… it's been so long since he's had a nightmare like this…he hangs his head in shame, hoping she wouldn't notice that there are tears streaking down his face…

The worst part wasn't that he was still haunted by memories, things that happened so long ago and felt so far away. It wasn't that ginny saw him at his weakest, a grown man of 36 still clinging to the past. It wasn't that it was so bloody awful because it all felt so real, like it could happen any time, it wasn't because that is what he really fears: no one needing him anymore, it wasn't that a small part of him, the 17 year-old one,knew that there was a possibility that it could all happen again …

The worst part, he decided as ginny cradled him and he felt his eyelids droop, was that Ron and Hermione were nowhere in sight…

A/N: how was it? ok? good? bad? REVIEW+ PINK COW= FLYING PINK COWS EVERYWHERE!