Uh...This wasn't written very well, because I didn't feel like spending much time on it. Sorry. ^^;;

I can't remember the exact dialog, so bear with me. ^.^ You know what? I can't even remember what they were talking about....

Balamb Garden had been attacked by Galbadia Garden. The SeeDs headed into the enemy Garden and up to the third floor where they entered a large room. Seifer stood on the platform in front of the sorceress, Edea. (You all remember that, right?) Squall, Selphie, and Zell skidded to a stop when they realized Seifer was protecting her.

"Hey, Chicken-Wuss. Long time no see, eh?" Seifer sneered.

"Yeah, and I'm ready for my revenge!" Zell shot back.

Selphie and Squall unsheathed their weapons as Seifer babbled on. "You brought the messenger girl with you. Too bad we didn't get to know each other better."

Selphie shook her head. "You're not my type, anyway."

"It won't work," Squall stated. "You can't mess with our minds."

"I'm the sorceress' knight. You'll never get past me." He grinned arrogantly and loaded his hyperion.

"You're just a monster," Squall huffed.

"Monster? Look at you, attacking like a swarm. You guys are the monsters!" He charged at Squall with his gunblade held high, taking a few blind strikes, which were all deflected. Realizing he was getting no where, he then retreated back to the podium, afraid of leaving Edea unprotected. "Show me what you've got! I'll show you who's the better man!"

Selphie saw his taunt as an opportunity to call upon a GF. "Tonberry!" she summoned. "Chef's Knife!"

Tonberry materialized, waving its lantern and holding its knife menacingly. It evilly scuttered up to where Seifer stood and drew back its flesh-piercing chef's knife. Tonberry's was a face to fear. The bright demon eyes radiated a golden yellow as its monstrous tail swung back and forth. A natural-born killer, the tiny lizard stalked its prey until it was exterminated.

Seifer folded his arms as he was unsure if he should block the attack or just blow into its face and knock it over.

DOINK!

The deed was done, leaving the sorceress' knight....in a fit of laughter. "Doink?! That's it?" he chuckled, straightening his pant leg. Tonberry continued poking Seifer's leg with the knife. DOINK! DOINK! DOINK! DOINK!

Zell and Squall's shoulders slumped as Tonberry continuously attacked their nemesis.

"Whoo-hoo! You get 'em, Tonberry!" Selphie cheered on the GF. She jumped up and down, throwing her fists in the air.

DOINK! DOINK! DOINK!

Growing annoyed of the tiny green lizard thingy, Seifer turned Tonberry in the opposite direction, and it began walking. It walked over to Zell, who pointed it in the direction of Edea, who pointed it toward Squall, who pointed it toward Selphie. Selphie was quick to cuddle it. "Good job, Tonberry! That was sooo brave!" she squealed.

Squall muttered something and lowered his head.

"No, seriously," Seifer grinned. "Show me what'cha got!"

The group was silent.

"So....that was it?"

"No, of course not!" answered Zell smiling. "That was just a clever distraction to distract you from the thing we did that could have normally caused a distraction! Booya!"

Squall resisted the urge to trigger his gunblade.

'If you want a job done right....' "Shiva! Dia-"

"Wait Squall!" Selphie shrieked, pointing to Tonberry who had re-entered the battle field.

'Yes! I can kill two birds with one stone!' "Diamond-"

"STOP! You'll hurt it!" she pleaded, her eyes watering.

Squall's face relaxed as he withdrew the command. "It would have been messy, anyway," he muttered.

"What did you do that would have normally caused a distraction?" Seifer inquired, paying no attention to the small knife being poked into his leg.

"I can't say, because then you'll be looking for the distraction and it won't be as distracting."

Seifer shook his head. "You're a dimwit."

"Quezacotl!" Zell snarled.

Selphie dashed over. "Don't!"

"Screw Tonberry! His attack sucks!"

Tonberry turned its little head and stared at Zell.

Selphie gasped, raising a hand to her mouth. "You take that back!" she demanded.

As Selphie continued to argue with Zell, Tonberry's face saddened. It waddled over to Squall, whimpering and clinging to his leg.

Seifer's face brightened watching Squall's perturbed expression. "Aww, that's so cute," he mocked.

"Shut up, Seifer."

"Good comeback."

The whimper turned into a weep at the last crack, and Squall was nervously trying to shut the thing up. "It's....okay..."

Tonberry sniffled as Squall pat its head lightly.

"See what you did?! You made it cry!" Zell dodged one of Selphie's fists as she swung it at his head.

"That......wasn't very nice......." a voice spoke from the back of the room.

"Edea? Matron?" Squall questioned.

The sorceress stood up and slowly walked over to Seifer.....then walked past Seifer, stopping in front of Tonberry. She gently picked it up and whispered in its ear. Immediately, its face lit up. Edea took it over to Seifer and set it on the ground.

Seifer glanced at Tonberry, then at the sorceress. He shrugged. "What?"

On cue, Tonberry drew back its knife and forcefully jammed it into Seifer's leg. The loudest DOINK in history.

"Holy! Ahh! Dammit, that stings!"

Hearing Seifer cry, Zell and Selphie's heads turned. "Whoo-hoo! You got stronger! I'm so proud!" She ran to its side, giving it a huge hug.

Squall curiously crept up to where Edea sat. "Matron?"

"Yes? I-I mean no."

"Are you okay now?"

"No! I am still evil and possessed! See, I shall even laugh maniacally! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"....Okay...."

"Since you have defeated my knight, I have no choice but to...er....sink into the floor and make you run around the Garden getting into various random battles before you can fight me."

"Well if that's the way it's gotta be..."

"Yes!" She lifted her arms to the ceiling and slowly melted into the floor.

The End! (and the world breathes a sigh of relief)

This story doesn't flow, but I like the idea. Maybe I'll rewrite it....