Hello!
So, this is story is based on Ryttu3k's headcanon. I did ask for permission to write it... 1 year ago. Aaaand, I have like, 5 chapters. I'm slow, okay?! But, regardless, I figured you could start reading it, so here we are.
The headcanon is here: ryttu3k;tumblr;com/:post:/:142214422330:/so-my-canon-headcanon-canon-interp-i-guess
(change semicolons (;) for periods, and remove the colons (:)
Chansons de Piano
Prélude en ré majeur
Augustine Sycamore holds a baby in his arms and the world on his shoulders, and he cannot make sense of any of it.
He's sixteen. He just got an acceptance letter from the École Nationale Supérieure de Lumiose. And still, around him, Augustine can see his future shattering.
It starts with the phone call of a crying, shrieking girl he only vaguely remembers, and the next thing Augustine knows is that she's in front of him, red in the face from her anger and dark bruises under her eyes from lack of sleep. A woman behind her calls her Adriane, so Augustine tries to join name and face together, but he's still drawing a blank. The man next to her is yelling, and finally Augustine's mother comes to see what the commotion is about. Adriane screams in Augustine's face, and then a bundle of blue blankets is shoved into his chest.
Couriway is a small town, quiet at this time of the year, and Augustine is almost positive that every single one of the residents hears the screaming when Adriane's father puts himself in front of Augustine's mother to yell at her about the irresponsible slut she has for a son. Augustine cringes at that just as his mother pulls herself to her full height and points a finger to the man's face to retaliate that her boy wasn't the only one at fault, even though she has no way of knowing if it was. Augustine still can't quite remember the girl, but he stays quiet. His chest is tight with fear, his heart beats thunderously against his ribs.
Adriane's family leaves, and Augustine has no idea if the baby is even his.
(It is.)
(The baby's hair is black where Adriane's is strawberry blonde, and his eyes gray to the brown of his mother's.)
(Augustine knows this.)
(The DNA test results that come back from Lumiose only reaffirm Augustine's gut feeling.)
"I—I don't know if I can keep him, mom."
Augustine's mother yells at him, too. Don't be like your father, she says. You are so much better than he is, don't do this, son.
Still, Augustine argues.
He fights with his mother, the first serious disagreement they have ever had, and they both end up in tears.
The day after that is filled with apologies and weary mutual understating. Augustine cradles the baby awkwardly, with fear, and his mother sweeps his hair away from his forehead and kisses the top of his head and corrects his hold. She says they should call Augustine's sister, and he agrees, but not until she's done with her work for the week.
Five days after the baby is pushed into Augustine's arms, he and his mother make their way to the Town Hall to register the boy. Augustine cringes whenever someone looks at him or whispers, even if they are only trying to greet him or the whispers have nothing to do with him.
For an instant, he wants to hide the boy, hide his mistake, and he looks nervously around before he starts bouncing on the balls of his feet.
"You stop that right now, Augustine!" His mother tells him, and though her voice is stern, her touch is gentle when she reaches to straighten his coat. "There's no need to be embarrassed about him."
But Augustine is embarrassed. And Augustine is scared as shit. And nothing his mom says can make it better.
So he just holds the kid—his kid, fuck, how does he have a kid?—a little tighter and puts his head down and lets his mother fill all the paperwork until they get to the boy's name.
Augustine starts crying again.
(He should honor Adriane's name, at least. Adrien.)
(Augustine remembers her scream. Her face as she yelled at him. The way she shoved a fragile week-old baby against him.)
(He doesn't want to honor that.)
"Calem."
{...}
When Augustine's sister is off for the weekend, they all go to meet her at the train station. She knows about the baby, but she still pauses when she catches the way Augustine is holding the bundle of blankets to his chest. Then she looks up at Augustine's face and she smiles at him in reassurance.
It helps, the way it always has.
At lunch, she pointedly looks away from the television when they announce her role in an upcoming movie. Their mother smiles but turns off the TV, instead trying to make conversation about something else.
Her name bounces in Augustine's head. Diantha. Diantha. Diantha.
Because Diantha Carnet is going to be a famous actress, a famous champion. And Augustine is going to stay in Couriway forever.
He says as much to Diantha later, when they're both holed up in their room and Augustine has let his pokémon roam around.
Diantha scoffs, sliding her feet out from under his legs and sitting up straight against the headboard of his bed. She hasn't brought out her pokémon, says they're tired, but Augustine knows they couldn't possibly fit in the room, especially with the crib he managed to assemble and set up in the corner.
"Don't be ridiculous," Diantha says, and she says it with so much conviction that he almost believes it. "You're not staying here forever. You want to be a researcher, and everyone will flock over you when you apply for an apprenticeship."
"They won't," Augustine retaliates. He realizes it's not much as far as arguments go. He opens his mouth to say something else and promptly shuts it. He looks over to where his riolu is dangling from the crib, cooing over the baby.
"You got accepted into a Grande École. On an excellence scholarship. We're sixteen. Not just anyone does that. Not just anyone becomes Major de promotion, either. you're smart—Don't give me that look, you are." Diantha gets up from the bed and makes her way toward his desk. But Augustine is not dumb, he knows she's just trying to get to the baby without making it overly obvious.
"About that—I-I don't think I'm going."
Diantha's head snaps up, and her hand closes the book she had just opened with a smack. His riolu looks up at her, then at him, and busies himself with the baby again. "Not going where?" Diantha asks.
Augustine almost wants to smack her. She's being thick on purpose, and it makes his blood boil. Except she really does look confused; her brow is slightly furrowed and her lip curled downward. Augustine pauses and collects himself. There's something wrong with him these days. He's always angry or frustrated or one breath away from crying, and it's weird. It's wrong. Augustine has always been kind, and he really needs sleep.
"The École."
"What?" Diantha frowns "Of course you are going."
"I can't go!" Augustine snaps, apprehension pressing on his chest once more. "I have a son now, how am I supposed to—!" The baby starts to cry, and Augustine realizes how loud he was being.
He rushes forward and his riolu jumps onto his shoulder when he's close enough, making room for him to pick up the boy and cradle him as well as he can. He's still clumsy, but it's only been a couple of weeks, and the boy is tiny and this is absurd.
Diantha watches carefully as he lulls the boy back to sleep, bouncing him like his mother taught him and singing bits and pieces of old lullabies he only sort of remembers.
Once the baby's asleep, Augustine doesn't put him back in the crib out of fear he'll wake up. He has made that mistake before. Instead, he makes sure the baby's head is supported appropriately and goes to sit back down on his bed.
"What's his name?"
Augustine has to blink and clear his head a little before he can make sense of the question. Then he looks back at Diantha, biting his lip. "Calem."
"That's really cute. Not very Kalosian, though." Diantha comes to sit next to him, and Augustine's riolu takes his other side, straining to keep looking at the boy.
"It's Unovan. But his middle name is Xavier," Augustine adds the last part as an afterthought, like it's an excuse, and Diantha rolls her eyes and insists she could have named the boy something Kantonese and still no one would mind.
Diantha hesitates after that. She leans over and caresses Calem's head with a gentle finger. "His mom…"
Augustine rubs his eye with the heel of his hand without letting go of Calem. "I think her name was Adriane," He shrugs "She was blonde. But can't really…" Augustine males a vague gesture with his free hand to try to encompass his lack of knowledge.
"What do you mean you can't really—" Diantha mimics the gesture "Wasn't it the girl you brought over to my place last time you visited?"
Augustine blinks and tries to remember. "I brought someone back to yours? That… wasn't nice."
"You really don't remember?" Diantha sits on her own bed, directly across from his. Her brow is furrowed, eyes moving to the floor as she tries to recall the details. "She had brown eyes, I think? A bit short, right? I was taller than her."
It's odd, how apparently Diantha remembers more about his son's mother than he does. "I—Yeah! What, when did you…?"
"I did open the door for her when she left. You were too drunk to do it."
And that is enough to confirm his fears. Augustine groans and leans back against the wall, tiny Calem held protectively. Adriane's father was right, after all. Augustine's eyes sting.
"Did she seem okay, though? When she left, I mean."
"She wasn't the drunk one, Gus." Diantha clarifies, and Augustine blinks, head snapping up to meet his twin's. "Only you were drunk. She was fine."
And, oh.
The sting in Augustine's eyes is unbearable, and he wipes them again. He still keeps his head down, looking at Calem's sleeping face through unfallen tears.
"So I didn't—I'm not—!" A sob cuts through his words, and his riolu is quick to nuzzle against his side.
"Oh, Gus," Diantha's voice is distant, but Augustine's mattress dips in and there are warm arms around him. He lets out another sob into the crook of his sister's neck. "You didn't take advantage of her. If anything, she took advantage of you. Twice." Diantha looks pointedly at Calem.
Augustine is not in the state of mind to wonder if Diantha can read minds, so he only lets her rub his back and she lets him cry against her shoulder until Calem starts to squirm.
And Augustine is tired. He knew he would be tired, but experiencing it isn't quite the same. He forces himself to stop weeping and sniffs as he backs away from Diantha to soothe Calem. Thankfully, Calem has proved to be a peaceful child, and Augustine can calm him down by bouncing him slightly. His mother has praised Calem's lack of colic to high heaven, Augustine can't begin to wonder what it had to be like for her, with two newborns, and then two toddlers and now two teenagers. At least with Calem, Augustine can stand one-on-one.
"You know I can tell you're nodding off." Diantha says matter-of-factly.
(Augustine knows she can.)
"I am not nodding off." Augustine says, except he hasn't slept in days and his mouth feels like cotton, so it comes out like ''m naht n'dding ´ff'.
Diantha looks at him flatly. When she leans forward to pick Calem from his arms, Augustine lets go, feeling odd in the way his stomach twists when he realizes Calem will be away from him while he sleeps.
Augustine's arms remain outstretched, wanting to pull Calem back to him.
Diantha forces him down to the bed with her foot, pushing on his chest until he finally lies down.
"You sleep." She orders. "I'll take Calem until you can think clearly and then we can talk about the École," Diantha continues, getting up from the bed with a grace Augustine couldn't dream of matching in the best of days. "Apollon, come on." The riolu doesn't even look back at Augustine before jumping down from the bed and toward his sister, and once they're all outside, Diantha smiles at him and closes the door.
For the first few minutes, Augustine rolls around in his bed, dreading the conversation with Diantha. The decision nags at his chest, makes him a jittery mess whenever he so much as thinks about it. He feels the muscles of his neck coiling painfully, and Augustine takes a deep breath that doesn't have the desired effect of loosening them. Augustine has to take care of Calem, and this is the most obvious exchange: his son over the school he has dreamed of since he was a child.
Augustine puts his pillow over his head and closes his eyes.
{…}
The sky is already painted orange and yellow by the time Augustine wakes up and lazily pulls the pillow from over his head. That the pillow is still even over his head at that point should be a clear indication of just how much he needed to sleep, since he usually moves around so much that it's not strange if he ends up on the floor.
If anything, Augustine is glad Diantha took the boy for the morning. And the afternoon, apparently.
He wants to get out of bed and walk around, but he also doesn't want to face Diantha yet.
Then his stomach rumbles, and that's another decision taken away from him. Augustine gets up and takes a deep breath and braces himself for the family meeting that's about to ensue.
When he walks down the stairs and turns right toward the living room, he stops in his tracks and doesn't know if he feels the need to smile or cry, so he does both, because his sister is holding his son who's staring at the red necklace Augustine himself gave Diantha as a birthday gift two years ago. And then there's his mom, beaming and taking pictures and Augustine has honestly never seen her looking happier.
"Oh, honey, come see! He's smiling!" His mom prompts the second she sees him.
Calem is smiling, and Augustine's chest feels tight. He controls himself because he's been crying too much these past few days, and he has to stop at one point or another.
Augustine extends his arms forward, and Diantha hands Calem over. If Calem had been staring at Diantha's necklace, he's downright goggling at Augustine's face. Augustine looks right back until the flash of a camera snaps him out of it, and his mom grins at him, hands in front of her mouth and everything.
He lets his mother hold Calem while he tries to make himself something to eat. He's not very good at it, and every doubt he had since the baby was brought over to Couriway returns with a vengeance until Diantha comes over to help him. She's been living in Lumiose by herself for a year now, and the pokémon journey Augustine abandoned very early on but Diantha is seeing through to the very end makes for a large difference in skill in, well, pretty much everything that has to do with self-care.
Apollon the riolu is sitting on his shoulders and Diantha picks him up and puts him on the counter. It's a relief, because Apollon is heavy and though Augustine feels mostly refreshed mentally, his body is still running on lack of sleep.
"You can cut the kelpsy berries," Diantha tells him, and hands the riolu a knife right before she slides a plate of kelpsy berries toward him. Apollon's hold on the knife is awkward, but Apollon's always willing to be helpful, so he nods and gets to work just as Diantha turns to look at Augustine again. "So, the École."
Augustine sighs. "Mom and I talked about—about giving Calem up for adoption." He confesses, biting his lip again. He doesn't protest when Diantha reaches up to pull his lip from between his teeth, but he does focus his eyes on the pomeg berries he's supposed to dice so Diantha can show him how to grill them properly. "But I'm not! I just—I can't do both. How would I go to class?"
"You could take him with you." Diantha says. Augustine wonders how she always manages to sound calm. "And I don't work every day, either. I could help you."
"Help?"
"Obviously," Diantha says. She takes the pomeg berry from him and begins to dice it herself. "And I do own a flat in Lumiose and the movie contract means I have enough money for the three of us to live just fine. You got a scholarship didn't you? Move in with me and I can help you with Calem…" she trails off and pauses, knife half-dug into the berry. "You… do know we're helping you, right?"
Augustine must look very uncomfortable, because Diantha lets go of the knife to put her hands on her hips. They're roughly the same height, and it's uncomfortable having her look so directly into his eyes while she looks so betrayed.
"Honestly? Mom says you've been depressed, is this what that's about?"
"Yes…?"
It's Diantha's turn to sigh. She sneaks a look into the living room to make sure their mom is still talking to Calem and then smacks Augustine up the head.
"Don't be so dramatic, Gus. Of course we'll help you. You're my brother. And I think mom likes Calem better than either of us."
"But—"
"You were really excited about the École, and I think you should go. You're the youngest they've ever accepted, and that way you'll get a great job so you can care for Calem."
"But—"
"You still have four months, Gus. It's not like you'll need to feed Calem between every one of your classes by that point or anything."
Augustine stays quiet and Diantha goes back to dicing berries until it's time to grill them and she tells him to pay close attention. They finish dinner as a team and Diantha tells Apollon to get some plates from the cupboards. She doesn't bother telling Augustine how to serve each plate, so Augustine goes to set the table.
When everything is ready, Augustine takes Calem back from his mother. Augustine doesn't know exactly what it is; Calem's smile when he's in his arms, or his sister's words or the fact that his mom has taken more pictures this week than she probably did in all of his and Diantha's childhood years.
Augustine bounces Calem slightly and smiles down at him.
"Think you could behave in a classroom, little bug?"
And there it is. First hurdle conquered. Sorta.
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