Endless Tides of Bodily Fluids

Chapter 1: Silicon Extraterrestrials

This was it. Samus's big debut in the music industry. With Barney the Dinosaur, Jay Jay the Jet Plane, andDora the Explorer by her side, she was unstoppable. The Soundsmiths™ had never had a better turnout. Because it was their first turnout. Tens and tens of people lined the plastic chairs in their garage. The audience, bond to their chairs and gagged, couldn't cheer but their eyes definitely showed spirit, awaiting the musical euphoria that sat in wait before them. Barney's fingers began to glide across his makeshift-ribcage-guitar with all the majesty of a vulture gruesomely picking away at the entrails of a human cadaver. JayJay began drumming her drums with the limbs of the fallen. Dora's primal gutturals preached the glory of the Dreadfather and his limitless pow'r. Samus played the recorder. A new era swept over the Earth that day, thanks in no small part to Samus's mad recorder skills. This is her story. This is her legund.

When the band had finally finished their sonata, the enraptured audience was bleeding steadily out their ears. Samus figured that they couldn't handle the breaking of the sound barrier, and so they commited Sudoku.

"These pitiful insects have commited Sudoku. We should dispose of their biomass, as it can be better used as recycled material!" Samus ejaculated.

"Gracias, Samus. I will prepare their bodies for the Sacrificial Table of Sacrificial Sacrifice, so their spirits can be one with the Almighty Dreadfather. Adios." Dora scooped up the lifeless corpses, the scent of death filling her nostrils with a most divine pleasure because she was edgy as fuck.

The sky was now red and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star was playing in reverse, a prophecy passed down through Samus's bloodline for generations.

As the Ancients once stated:

"Should live your life in accordance to the

Dreadfather's ways, and perform the sickest

Of beats, unto you will be delivered the

Everlasting honor of serving beside the

Dreadfather himself, as the one and only

Grandmaster Superpimp."

It…it couldn't be. Was Samus the chosen one? Was she the Grandmaster Superpimp, born to serve along the Dreadfather, ruler of the Omniverse? Surely there had to be a mistake. But even as she was was thinking this, two hairy midgets were dragging her into the rift between dimensions. The Dreadfather was before her.