Title: When you can't look back
Author: Dannette
Summary: Jamie learns a life lesson... that sometimes you can't look
back...
Life is funny... you think you got it figured out but then it throws
you this huge obstactle that changes everything....
The only reason I am a EMT is because well let's just say I messed up
and having to save lives with the "In Crowd" (As Catie is always
calling them) was my punishment... but all my pratice and work as an
EMT would never have gotten me even half ready what happened to me
last week....
It all started last week... the day was Monday and the class was
History... it is still a blur but here goes....
:::Earlier that week:::
Jamie's eyes were burrowed into his history book but his mind wasn't
really into it... he was too busy thinking about Catie; for the third
time that day. He couldn't get his mind off Catie, that seemed like a
repeating problem for him... him and Catie weren't exactly on the
best of terms especially since he was everything Catie despised.
"Hey Jamie, are you okay? You don't seem like you were in class
today, like you were in your world"
Jamie looked up to see no other then Mr. Dudley do right Tyler
Conelly standing in front of him with a huge grin pasted on his face.
"Wha- What? Is class over?"
Val and Hank nodded. Jamie shook his head and slammed his history
book shut and stalked out of the classroom. Val turned to Tyler and
Hank.
"Whoa what's his problem?"
Tyler grabbed his book and Hank and Val walked with him.
"One word... Catie"
Val looked at Tyler and nodded in agreement, everyone knew that Catie
and Jamie were having problems with their friendship. Val frowned,
she hated seeing Catie and Jamie fighting... they were best friends
but lately their friendship had been non-existent.
Catie sat on the edge of one of the school benches with her backpack
and notebooks spreaded out across the remaining space of the bench,
her hair was down and had strands of gold tinsel in it since
Christmas was near.
Jamie stood in the background and smiled to himself, this was going
to be so fun... Jamie messed with the red rose in his hand and slowly
walked over to where Catie was making sure to be extra quiet so she
wouldn't hear him, he sneaked up right behind her and floated the
rose in front of Catie's face.
Catie looked up from her book when she felt some soft, silky like
touch the end of her nose, when her eyes finally met the rose a
scream had found it's way out of her mouth... even though she knew
who it was... she knew it was Jamie trying to patch their friendship
up but for some reason it still scared her.
"Geez Jamie, are you trying to give me a heart-attack?"
Jamie smiled and jumped over the bench and sat down next to Catie
handing her the rose.
"What do you want Jamie? I thought we both decided to give each other
a little time"
Jamie made a face.
"No Catie, you decided! Actually you decided that you didn't want to
be my friend at all because all of a sudden I became a EMT"
Catie shook her head and grabbed all her stuff and threw it in her
backpack next she threw the rose at Jamie and got up.
"You didn't become an EMT, you became a traitor"
Catie threw her backpack over her shoulder and walked off.. Jamie
thought for a minute, he knew he should of have just gave Catie a
little time but instead he ran after her.
"So you just walk away huh Catie? Is that your answer to everything?
You don't get your way you throw a fit"
Catie looked at Jamie and opened her mouth to say something but
instead slapped him. Jamie looked back at Catie in shock.
"Jamie, don't you presume you know me. Don't assume you know what is
going on in my life"
Catie looked at Jamie once more and ran off.
Val turned to Tyler and Hank.
"Whoa I have never seen Catie strike anyone one before"
Hank laughed.
"No I'm telling you the truth, Catie may put off this touch me or get
to close I'll kill you attitude but I have never seen her hit someone
before and especially Jamie"
Jamie picked up the rose that was dropped during the fight between
him and Catie, he looked back at the remaining petals and looked up
to see Catie; Jamie dropped the flower and ran after Catie.
"Please Catie! please! Just wait!"
Jamie grabbed Catie gently by the arm.
"What?"
"I'm sorry. I don't have the right to presume I know what is going on
in your life or assume that I know you because to tell you the truth
I don't not anymore'
Catie shrugged.
"I didn't have a choice, it was either be an EMT or go back to court
and possibly go to jail and I couldn't do that so I chose being an
EMT... I miss you Catie"
Catie frown slowly turned into a smile.
"Well if you like working with Mr. Dudely do right and Mrs. Dudely do
right fine with me"
Jamie smiled and put his arm around Catie.
"I never said I liked it but you know what my boss guy Alex is really
getting on my nerves"
"And why is that?"
"Because he treats me like this gangster rebel or something and I'm
sick of it! He says I have an attitude and he won't even give me a
chance to prove myself"
"Aww poor baby"
"Do you have no compassion?"
Catie wiggles out of Jamie's grasp and looks down at her watch.
"Whoa, it is getting way late, gotta go"
"Hey wait, I'll walk you home...."
:::6 hours later:::
"Jamie! You said you would walk me home not whisk me away for six
hours!"
Jamie takes a drink of his soda and looks up innocently at Catie.
"Sorry, I was hungry, okay we can go now"
Jamie puts $30 down on the table and ushers Catie out of the
restraunt.
"Great Jamie, now it's dark, real dark and when I get home my dad is
going to kill me"
Jamie looked at Catie seriously.
"Are you serious? Will he really do something to you?"
Catie looked up at Jamie and shook her head real fast.
"No not really, I was only playing around Jamie"
Jamie looked down at the ground.
"Oh, let's just go"
Jamie and Catie began to walk, Jamie leaded them into an alley saying
it was a shortcut.
"A shortcut huh?"
"Shut up, so I got us lost"
Jamie shook his head and continued to walk.
"Look, can't we just get out of this alley? I don't like alleys"
Jamie stopped and looked back at Catie.
"Are you afraid Catie?"
Catie shoved Jamie.
"Shut up jerk! So alleys scare me... god knows what can happen in an
alley"
Jamie went to open his mouth but felt himself get pushed down to the
ground... Jamie felt to the ground and looked up to see a guy grab
Catie.
"Catie!!"
PART 2-
Summary: Jamie struggles while Catie is hospitalized
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I don't remember what happened..."
Jamie looked down at the ground, staring down at his shoes, they were
wet and muddy, he didn't mind. Jamie bit on his lip and felt a
pounding pain coming from the wound on his cheek, the whole left side
of his cheek was scraped up from when he was pushed to the ground.
Val scooted over to Jamie and put her hand on his arm trying to be
supportive. Once Jamie felt the contact he pushed away violent and
drew his knees up to his chest.
"Don't touch me..."
Jamie's plead was simple, his voice was regular toned, but his body
was tense and he had the saddest look on his face.
"I understand this is hard on you Jamie, but to help Catie we have to
know exactly what happened. So go back to when it happened Jamie, do
it for Catie"
Jamie nodded and closed his eyes and scanned his memory trying to
find the exact moment and then he gulped when he saw it replay in his
memory.
"Me and Catie had just made up after this fight we had, she said she
had to go home but I insisted on walking her home. Instead of walking
her straight home I whisked her away to the pizza place, well after 6
hours she told me she really had to go home so I paid the bill for
the food and ushered her outside of the restraunt and then I said
let's go through the alley because I know a shortcut, she agreed and
we went into the alley. Well somehow I got us lost and she told me
she wanted to get out of this alley and then I stopped walking and
asked her if she was afraid, I was only playing and then she pushed
me and said to shut up and that I didn't know what happened in
alleys, I went to open my mouth to say something but then I felt
strong arms push me down to the ground and then I saw this guy grab
Catie..."
Tyler put his hand on Jamie's shoulder urging him to go on.
"The guy told me to stay back or he would hurt her but I didn't
listen to him... I was trying to play the hero. He told me stay back
or else but again I didn't listen to him and then I heard Catie
scream and the guy ran off and she fell to the ground. I ran over to
her and cradled her in my arms and that is when I saw that she was
bleeding"
Val gasped in horror.
"He stabbed her?"
"This is all my fault, I'm an EMT I should of been smarter"
Hank walked over to Jamie and forced Jamie to look at him.
"No this is not your fault, this sort of things happen all the time"
Jamie pushed Tyler and Hank back hard, Val pulled them back before
they could walk over to Jamie again she also motioned for Alex to
stay where he was. They didn't what to do... they didn't know how to
confront this situation... they didn't know how to help Jamie.
"Yes it is my fault! I was the one that kept Catie out after dark!
I'm the one that said let's go through the alley! I'm the one that
wouldn't get out of the alley when she asked me! I'm the one that
wouldn't do what that guy said! This is all my fault!"
Val paced back and forth muttering things under her breath, trying to
find the exact words for this situation.
"Well Catie is lucky she got here when she did, you are lucky you
brought her here when you did... if you showed up any later she
wouldn't of been so lucky. Catie has a bad stab wound, Catie is in a
light coma, which means she has a better chance of coming out of it.
We wil keep an eye on her watching to see if her condition changes at
all... the next 24 hours is crucial"
Jamie pushed himself up and grabbed his jacket and stalked out of the
station without saying a word. What did Val, Hank, Tyler or even Alex
know? They swear they are the experts about every situation but what
happened tonite only happened to him and Catie... they weren't there,
they didn't see or feel what he felt so until they did Jamie didn't
really care.
"Shouldn't someone go after him? He shouldn't be alone"
Everyone nodded at Hank's suggestion but no one budged, what could
they say to Jamie? It was going to be alright? They didn't know
that... we know what you are going through? They didn't.
"I'll go after him"
Tyler grabbed his jacket and walked out of the station and spotted
Jamie.
"Yo Jamie wait up!"
Tyler ran up to Jamie.
Val stood at the entrance to the hospital room, she looked down at
her hands which were shaking, she shook her head and walked into the
room and felt like screaming when she saw Catie in that hospital bed
with tubes in her. Val grabbed a chair and moved it over next to
Catie and sat down in it.
"Hey Catie, They said people in light comas can hear real good, of
course they can't respond but they heard real good so I'm going to
just talk... um Jamie is really upset, he thinks you in here is all
his fault... you know Jamie, he is probably going to let this get to
him so bad that he'll even hurt himself and there is nothing we can
do about it.. you're always there to stop him from hurting himself
but now you can't stop him because well because you're in a coma. We
all need you here Catie, especially me... you're my best friend, my
second sister, my blood buddy, my source... I know things have been
kinda hectic between us but you are still my best friend and that is
never going to stop... I know you are a whole lot more to Jamie, even
Tyler likes you so does Hank... so are you going to make a lot of
people sad?"
Val just shook her head and let the tears fall.
"What do you want Tyler? Can't you just leave me alone?"
Tyler grabbed Jamie by the arm.
"Hey we're friends and I'm here for you"
Jamie pushed Tyler away.
"You're not my friend, you're just this guy I have to work with.
Catie is my friend, my best friend, and because of me she is in that
hospital room so just leave me alone"
"So you can hurt yourself? That's not the answer"
"And what would you know? You never do anything wrong"
"I am begging you"
Jamie started to walk off but was grabbed by Tyler again.
"Beg somewhere else! Let me go before we duke it out"
Tyler tightened his grip.
"What are you going to do Jamie? Hit me? Beat me up? Is that how you
deal with your emotions?"
Jamie punched Tyler.
"Yeah it is,"
Jamie looked at Tyler one more time and ran off letting the emotions
bottle themselves up further. Tyler pushed himself up and watched
Jamie run off.
Jamie finally stopped knowing that he was too far for anyone to catch
up with him, Jamie looked around and stood there with a look of
confusion on his face. Jamie felt all the emotions starting to drip
out... Jamie closed his eyes to stop them from coming but it did no
good.
"Nooooooooooooooo!"
Jamie's scream was loud and clear and all the neighborhood could of
heard it if they cared, Jamie threw himself to the ground, he buried
his face into the grass, tears started to come and for once he didn't
stop, he couldn't, he wouldn't. Jamie clutched onto the grass wanting
it all to stop, he wanted the pain to stop, the horror, the anger..
he wanted Catie to make it all good again, he wanted her to sit down
next to him and hold him in her arms and somehow make it all better.
He wanted her to whisper something in his ear that would make him
smile, he wanted her to rock him back and forth in her warm arms, he
wanted her to rub his back... he just wanted her. He wanted her.
That was it... he wanted her.
PART 3-
Summary: Conflict rises between the EMT's as Catie wakes up.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Val walked into the EMT station sleepily with a look of dread on her
face, she opened the door and looked around the EMT station for a
familar face, she had spent half the night by Catie's bedside hoping
for Catie to wake up but she never did and being there all alone in
that hospital room with her best friend unconsious and tubes sticking
out of her was too much for Val, she needed to get out.
"Val!"
Brooke dropped the files she was looking at and ran over to Val,
before Val could say a word Brooke wrapped her arms around Val's
waist tightening her grip on Val.
"Whoa, what's wrong Brooke? If this is about Catie, as I said she is
only in a light coma which means..."
Brooke smothered a sigh interrupting her older sister's rehearsed
speech, Brooke had already heard it a million times when Val had
praticed it in front of the mirror at their house before going to the
EMT station to tell Jamie the news.
"It's not that, don't get me wrong I am worried about Catie but she's
a survivor it's Tyler"
Val's eyes widened when she heard the tone Brooke was using, Val
looked down at Brooke begging inside of her head that nothing was
wrong with Tyler, she just couldn't handle it.
"What's wrong?"
Brooke let got of Val and looked her older sister in the eye.
"It happened when you went to go visit Catie; Tyler went to go talk
to Jamie but when he got back the whole left side of his face was
scraped up"
Val gasped and let her eyes wander the room until they found Tyler,
he was sitting down at the table with Hank and Alex. Val shook her
head and ran over there.
"Tyler..."
Tyler looked up and managed a smile for Val's benefit.
"It's not as bad as it looks like"
"Yeah it's worse"
Tyler shook his head at Hank and put his hand up interrupting them
both.
"We just got into a fight okay? I just pushed him too far, it was my
own fault"
Val gasped in shock.
"Your own fault Tyler? Jamie attacked YOU, not the other way around.
When he denied our help it was okay with me, when he walked away from
us fine, but when he attacks another that is crossing the line... he
had no right"
Jamie walked the streets of the small town in silence, he let his
thoughts control his mind as he felt the horrible events in the alley
play over again, everytime he saw it he thought of another reason to
blame himself.. he could of been faster, smarter, whatever it was the
image always ended the same... Catie screamed, she fell to the
ground, he grabbed her... blood... horror... darkness. Jamie shook
his head and fastened his pace wanting to get to the hospital as fast
as he could, he wanted to be there before Catie woke up... if she
did. Jamie screamed at himself mentally for even thinking those
thoughts but they still rung in his ears, it was a possibility
afterall.
"No I can't think that, I won't think that"
Jamie's voice seemed so small, so confused, so lost, so alone... his
voice seemed as if it was searching for something, someone. Jamie let
his thoughts wander to Catie... she had to be the coolest person he
knew, she had her own way of doing things... she was definitely
unique... she broke all the rules, never letting anyone push her
down, she was never ashamed of who she was and at times she seemed so
untouchable, like she was always out of his reach, always a step
ahead. Jamie turned a corner and smothered a sigh of relief as he saw
the hospital come into view, he let his mind continue thinking.
Alex strummed his fingers against the rim of his wooden desk, he
occasionally kept looking down at his watch, he would also look up at
the entrance to the EMT station hoping Jamie would come in. This kid
made him so mad, all this time he had waited for ONE little reason to
fire him, to kick him off the team and now when he had the reason he
didn't have the heart. He could see the pain Jamie was going through,
hell everyone could... the emotions inside of Jamie were painted all
over his face and even Jamie knew it and the problem was that Jamie
didn't care, the only thing Jamie cared about was Catie. Alex dropped
his head to his desk and moaned loudly, Jamie was a brilliant young
man when he wanted to be, Jamie could go far in life if he ever even
tried, Jamie had the guts to be someone but everything he was, was
because Catie Roth was a part of him... Catie inspired Jamie to be
strong, to be an individual... Catie made Jamie want to be someone.
Alex shook his head listening to the tick tocks of the clock on the
wall of the EMT station, did the pain ever stop for this kid?
Jamie stopped in front of the entrance to the hospital and felt all
his emotions, his thoughts and everything else in his body stop to a
deadly hault, after this moment his fantasy would no longer exist and
all he would have was his reality. Jamie gulped and pushed his hair
down and walked into the hospital, even after all his work as EMT he
wasn't used to the feel of hospitals, they gave off this weird vibe
to him... Jamie walked over to the front desk and smiled at the nurse
warily.
"Hi I was wondering which room Catie Roth is in?"
"Are you family?"
Jamie looked back at the nurse and nodded slowly.
"Room 113, go in there slowly, she might still be in the coma"
Jamie watched the nurse get up, his eyes followed her pointing.
"Thanks"
Jamie waved to the nurse and walked off heading towards Catie's room.
Jamie stopped for a second once he reached Catie's room, he gulped
once more and walked inside, he grabbed a chair and scooted over next
to Catie and felt the tears fall.
"Catie, oh my god I'm so sorry. I should of been smarter, faster, I
should of been.. it doesn't matter what I should have been, I wasn't
and now you're in this hospital bed in a coma and it is all my fault.
See the thing I never really told you in person is that I need you in
my life, really bad... you affect me and the way I act in this hugest
way, you make me who I am and in a way you are me... sometimes I
don't know where you end and I begin... it's like our lives are
intertwined with one other's and I love that about us. I love the way
you break all the rules, not caring what other people think, I love
the way you hate the way high school is this huge popularity poll...
I love the way you make me love you... you have this charisma about
you that I just love... I don't want to lose you Catie, I love you"
Jamie began to cry hard as he rested his head on Catie's hand.
"J-Jamie?"
Jamie popped his head up to see Catie staring up at him.
Author: Dannette
Summary: Jamie learns a life lesson... that sometimes you can't look
back...
Life is funny... you think you got it figured out but then it throws
you this huge obstactle that changes everything....
The only reason I am a EMT is because well let's just say I messed up
and having to save lives with the "In Crowd" (As Catie is always
calling them) was my punishment... but all my pratice and work as an
EMT would never have gotten me even half ready what happened to me
last week....
It all started last week... the day was Monday and the class was
History... it is still a blur but here goes....
:::Earlier that week:::
Jamie's eyes were burrowed into his history book but his mind wasn't
really into it... he was too busy thinking about Catie; for the third
time that day. He couldn't get his mind off Catie, that seemed like a
repeating problem for him... him and Catie weren't exactly on the
best of terms especially since he was everything Catie despised.
"Hey Jamie, are you okay? You don't seem like you were in class
today, like you were in your world"
Jamie looked up to see no other then Mr. Dudley do right Tyler
Conelly standing in front of him with a huge grin pasted on his face.
"Wha- What? Is class over?"
Val and Hank nodded. Jamie shook his head and slammed his history
book shut and stalked out of the classroom. Val turned to Tyler and
Hank.
"Whoa what's his problem?"
Tyler grabbed his book and Hank and Val walked with him.
"One word... Catie"
Val looked at Tyler and nodded in agreement, everyone knew that Catie
and Jamie were having problems with their friendship. Val frowned,
she hated seeing Catie and Jamie fighting... they were best friends
but lately their friendship had been non-existent.
Catie sat on the edge of one of the school benches with her backpack
and notebooks spreaded out across the remaining space of the bench,
her hair was down and had strands of gold tinsel in it since
Christmas was near.
Jamie stood in the background and smiled to himself, this was going
to be so fun... Jamie messed with the red rose in his hand and slowly
walked over to where Catie was making sure to be extra quiet so she
wouldn't hear him, he sneaked up right behind her and floated the
rose in front of Catie's face.
Catie looked up from her book when she felt some soft, silky like
touch the end of her nose, when her eyes finally met the rose a
scream had found it's way out of her mouth... even though she knew
who it was... she knew it was Jamie trying to patch their friendship
up but for some reason it still scared her.
"Geez Jamie, are you trying to give me a heart-attack?"
Jamie smiled and jumped over the bench and sat down next to Catie
handing her the rose.
"What do you want Jamie? I thought we both decided to give each other
a little time"
Jamie made a face.
"No Catie, you decided! Actually you decided that you didn't want to
be my friend at all because all of a sudden I became a EMT"
Catie shook her head and grabbed all her stuff and threw it in her
backpack next she threw the rose at Jamie and got up.
"You didn't become an EMT, you became a traitor"
Catie threw her backpack over her shoulder and walked off.. Jamie
thought for a minute, he knew he should of have just gave Catie a
little time but instead he ran after her.
"So you just walk away huh Catie? Is that your answer to everything?
You don't get your way you throw a fit"
Catie looked at Jamie and opened her mouth to say something but
instead slapped him. Jamie looked back at Catie in shock.
"Jamie, don't you presume you know me. Don't assume you know what is
going on in my life"
Catie looked at Jamie once more and ran off.
Val turned to Tyler and Hank.
"Whoa I have never seen Catie strike anyone one before"
Hank laughed.
"No I'm telling you the truth, Catie may put off this touch me or get
to close I'll kill you attitude but I have never seen her hit someone
before and especially Jamie"
Jamie picked up the rose that was dropped during the fight between
him and Catie, he looked back at the remaining petals and looked up
to see Catie; Jamie dropped the flower and ran after Catie.
"Please Catie! please! Just wait!"
Jamie grabbed Catie gently by the arm.
"What?"
"I'm sorry. I don't have the right to presume I know what is going on
in your life or assume that I know you because to tell you the truth
I don't not anymore'
Catie shrugged.
"I didn't have a choice, it was either be an EMT or go back to court
and possibly go to jail and I couldn't do that so I chose being an
EMT... I miss you Catie"
Catie frown slowly turned into a smile.
"Well if you like working with Mr. Dudely do right and Mrs. Dudely do
right fine with me"
Jamie smiled and put his arm around Catie.
"I never said I liked it but you know what my boss guy Alex is really
getting on my nerves"
"And why is that?"
"Because he treats me like this gangster rebel or something and I'm
sick of it! He says I have an attitude and he won't even give me a
chance to prove myself"
"Aww poor baby"
"Do you have no compassion?"
Catie wiggles out of Jamie's grasp and looks down at her watch.
"Whoa, it is getting way late, gotta go"
"Hey wait, I'll walk you home...."
:::6 hours later:::
"Jamie! You said you would walk me home not whisk me away for six
hours!"
Jamie takes a drink of his soda and looks up innocently at Catie.
"Sorry, I was hungry, okay we can go now"
Jamie puts $30 down on the table and ushers Catie out of the
restraunt.
"Great Jamie, now it's dark, real dark and when I get home my dad is
going to kill me"
Jamie looked at Catie seriously.
"Are you serious? Will he really do something to you?"
Catie looked up at Jamie and shook her head real fast.
"No not really, I was only playing around Jamie"
Jamie looked down at the ground.
"Oh, let's just go"
Jamie and Catie began to walk, Jamie leaded them into an alley saying
it was a shortcut.
"A shortcut huh?"
"Shut up, so I got us lost"
Jamie shook his head and continued to walk.
"Look, can't we just get out of this alley? I don't like alleys"
Jamie stopped and looked back at Catie.
"Are you afraid Catie?"
Catie shoved Jamie.
"Shut up jerk! So alleys scare me... god knows what can happen in an
alley"
Jamie went to open his mouth but felt himself get pushed down to the
ground... Jamie felt to the ground and looked up to see a guy grab
Catie.
"Catie!!"
PART 2-
Summary: Jamie struggles while Catie is hospitalized
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I don't remember what happened..."
Jamie looked down at the ground, staring down at his shoes, they were
wet and muddy, he didn't mind. Jamie bit on his lip and felt a
pounding pain coming from the wound on his cheek, the whole left side
of his cheek was scraped up from when he was pushed to the ground.
Val scooted over to Jamie and put her hand on his arm trying to be
supportive. Once Jamie felt the contact he pushed away violent and
drew his knees up to his chest.
"Don't touch me..."
Jamie's plead was simple, his voice was regular toned, but his body
was tense and he had the saddest look on his face.
"I understand this is hard on you Jamie, but to help Catie we have to
know exactly what happened. So go back to when it happened Jamie, do
it for Catie"
Jamie nodded and closed his eyes and scanned his memory trying to
find the exact moment and then he gulped when he saw it replay in his
memory.
"Me and Catie had just made up after this fight we had, she said she
had to go home but I insisted on walking her home. Instead of walking
her straight home I whisked her away to the pizza place, well after 6
hours she told me she really had to go home so I paid the bill for
the food and ushered her outside of the restraunt and then I said
let's go through the alley because I know a shortcut, she agreed and
we went into the alley. Well somehow I got us lost and she told me
she wanted to get out of this alley and then I stopped walking and
asked her if she was afraid, I was only playing and then she pushed
me and said to shut up and that I didn't know what happened in
alleys, I went to open my mouth to say something but then I felt
strong arms push me down to the ground and then I saw this guy grab
Catie..."
Tyler put his hand on Jamie's shoulder urging him to go on.
"The guy told me to stay back or he would hurt her but I didn't
listen to him... I was trying to play the hero. He told me stay back
or else but again I didn't listen to him and then I heard Catie
scream and the guy ran off and she fell to the ground. I ran over to
her and cradled her in my arms and that is when I saw that she was
bleeding"
Val gasped in horror.
"He stabbed her?"
"This is all my fault, I'm an EMT I should of been smarter"
Hank walked over to Jamie and forced Jamie to look at him.
"No this is not your fault, this sort of things happen all the time"
Jamie pushed Tyler and Hank back hard, Val pulled them back before
they could walk over to Jamie again she also motioned for Alex to
stay where he was. They didn't what to do... they didn't know how to
confront this situation... they didn't know how to help Jamie.
"Yes it is my fault! I was the one that kept Catie out after dark!
I'm the one that said let's go through the alley! I'm the one that
wouldn't get out of the alley when she asked me! I'm the one that
wouldn't do what that guy said! This is all my fault!"
Val paced back and forth muttering things under her breath, trying to
find the exact words for this situation.
"Well Catie is lucky she got here when she did, you are lucky you
brought her here when you did... if you showed up any later she
wouldn't of been so lucky. Catie has a bad stab wound, Catie is in a
light coma, which means she has a better chance of coming out of it.
We wil keep an eye on her watching to see if her condition changes at
all... the next 24 hours is crucial"
Jamie pushed himself up and grabbed his jacket and stalked out of the
station without saying a word. What did Val, Hank, Tyler or even Alex
know? They swear they are the experts about every situation but what
happened tonite only happened to him and Catie... they weren't there,
they didn't see or feel what he felt so until they did Jamie didn't
really care.
"Shouldn't someone go after him? He shouldn't be alone"
Everyone nodded at Hank's suggestion but no one budged, what could
they say to Jamie? It was going to be alright? They didn't know
that... we know what you are going through? They didn't.
"I'll go after him"
Tyler grabbed his jacket and walked out of the station and spotted
Jamie.
"Yo Jamie wait up!"
Tyler ran up to Jamie.
Val stood at the entrance to the hospital room, she looked down at
her hands which were shaking, she shook her head and walked into the
room and felt like screaming when she saw Catie in that hospital bed
with tubes in her. Val grabbed a chair and moved it over next to
Catie and sat down in it.
"Hey Catie, They said people in light comas can hear real good, of
course they can't respond but they heard real good so I'm going to
just talk... um Jamie is really upset, he thinks you in here is all
his fault... you know Jamie, he is probably going to let this get to
him so bad that he'll even hurt himself and there is nothing we can
do about it.. you're always there to stop him from hurting himself
but now you can't stop him because well because you're in a coma. We
all need you here Catie, especially me... you're my best friend, my
second sister, my blood buddy, my source... I know things have been
kinda hectic between us but you are still my best friend and that is
never going to stop... I know you are a whole lot more to Jamie, even
Tyler likes you so does Hank... so are you going to make a lot of
people sad?"
Val just shook her head and let the tears fall.
"What do you want Tyler? Can't you just leave me alone?"
Tyler grabbed Jamie by the arm.
"Hey we're friends and I'm here for you"
Jamie pushed Tyler away.
"You're not my friend, you're just this guy I have to work with.
Catie is my friend, my best friend, and because of me she is in that
hospital room so just leave me alone"
"So you can hurt yourself? That's not the answer"
"And what would you know? You never do anything wrong"
"I am begging you"
Jamie started to walk off but was grabbed by Tyler again.
"Beg somewhere else! Let me go before we duke it out"
Tyler tightened his grip.
"What are you going to do Jamie? Hit me? Beat me up? Is that how you
deal with your emotions?"
Jamie punched Tyler.
"Yeah it is,"
Jamie looked at Tyler one more time and ran off letting the emotions
bottle themselves up further. Tyler pushed himself up and watched
Jamie run off.
Jamie finally stopped knowing that he was too far for anyone to catch
up with him, Jamie looked around and stood there with a look of
confusion on his face. Jamie felt all the emotions starting to drip
out... Jamie closed his eyes to stop them from coming but it did no
good.
"Nooooooooooooooo!"
Jamie's scream was loud and clear and all the neighborhood could of
heard it if they cared, Jamie threw himself to the ground, he buried
his face into the grass, tears started to come and for once he didn't
stop, he couldn't, he wouldn't. Jamie clutched onto the grass wanting
it all to stop, he wanted the pain to stop, the horror, the anger..
he wanted Catie to make it all good again, he wanted her to sit down
next to him and hold him in her arms and somehow make it all better.
He wanted her to whisper something in his ear that would make him
smile, he wanted her to rock him back and forth in her warm arms, he
wanted her to rub his back... he just wanted her. He wanted her.
That was it... he wanted her.
PART 3-
Summary: Conflict rises between the EMT's as Catie wakes up.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Val walked into the EMT station sleepily with a look of dread on her
face, she opened the door and looked around the EMT station for a
familar face, she had spent half the night by Catie's bedside hoping
for Catie to wake up but she never did and being there all alone in
that hospital room with her best friend unconsious and tubes sticking
out of her was too much for Val, she needed to get out.
"Val!"
Brooke dropped the files she was looking at and ran over to Val,
before Val could say a word Brooke wrapped her arms around Val's
waist tightening her grip on Val.
"Whoa, what's wrong Brooke? If this is about Catie, as I said she is
only in a light coma which means..."
Brooke smothered a sigh interrupting her older sister's rehearsed
speech, Brooke had already heard it a million times when Val had
praticed it in front of the mirror at their house before going to the
EMT station to tell Jamie the news.
"It's not that, don't get me wrong I am worried about Catie but she's
a survivor it's Tyler"
Val's eyes widened when she heard the tone Brooke was using, Val
looked down at Brooke begging inside of her head that nothing was
wrong with Tyler, she just couldn't handle it.
"What's wrong?"
Brooke let got of Val and looked her older sister in the eye.
"It happened when you went to go visit Catie; Tyler went to go talk
to Jamie but when he got back the whole left side of his face was
scraped up"
Val gasped and let her eyes wander the room until they found Tyler,
he was sitting down at the table with Hank and Alex. Val shook her
head and ran over there.
"Tyler..."
Tyler looked up and managed a smile for Val's benefit.
"It's not as bad as it looks like"
"Yeah it's worse"
Tyler shook his head at Hank and put his hand up interrupting them
both.
"We just got into a fight okay? I just pushed him too far, it was my
own fault"
Val gasped in shock.
"Your own fault Tyler? Jamie attacked YOU, not the other way around.
When he denied our help it was okay with me, when he walked away from
us fine, but when he attacks another that is crossing the line... he
had no right"
Jamie walked the streets of the small town in silence, he let his
thoughts control his mind as he felt the horrible events in the alley
play over again, everytime he saw it he thought of another reason to
blame himself.. he could of been faster, smarter, whatever it was the
image always ended the same... Catie screamed, she fell to the
ground, he grabbed her... blood... horror... darkness. Jamie shook
his head and fastened his pace wanting to get to the hospital as fast
as he could, he wanted to be there before Catie woke up... if she
did. Jamie screamed at himself mentally for even thinking those
thoughts but they still rung in his ears, it was a possibility
afterall.
"No I can't think that, I won't think that"
Jamie's voice seemed so small, so confused, so lost, so alone... his
voice seemed as if it was searching for something, someone. Jamie let
his thoughts wander to Catie... she had to be the coolest person he
knew, she had her own way of doing things... she was definitely
unique... she broke all the rules, never letting anyone push her
down, she was never ashamed of who she was and at times she seemed so
untouchable, like she was always out of his reach, always a step
ahead. Jamie turned a corner and smothered a sigh of relief as he saw
the hospital come into view, he let his mind continue thinking.
Alex strummed his fingers against the rim of his wooden desk, he
occasionally kept looking down at his watch, he would also look up at
the entrance to the EMT station hoping Jamie would come in. This kid
made him so mad, all this time he had waited for ONE little reason to
fire him, to kick him off the team and now when he had the reason he
didn't have the heart. He could see the pain Jamie was going through,
hell everyone could... the emotions inside of Jamie were painted all
over his face and even Jamie knew it and the problem was that Jamie
didn't care, the only thing Jamie cared about was Catie. Alex dropped
his head to his desk and moaned loudly, Jamie was a brilliant young
man when he wanted to be, Jamie could go far in life if he ever even
tried, Jamie had the guts to be someone but everything he was, was
because Catie Roth was a part of him... Catie inspired Jamie to be
strong, to be an individual... Catie made Jamie want to be someone.
Alex shook his head listening to the tick tocks of the clock on the
wall of the EMT station, did the pain ever stop for this kid?
Jamie stopped in front of the entrance to the hospital and felt all
his emotions, his thoughts and everything else in his body stop to a
deadly hault, after this moment his fantasy would no longer exist and
all he would have was his reality. Jamie gulped and pushed his hair
down and walked into the hospital, even after all his work as EMT he
wasn't used to the feel of hospitals, they gave off this weird vibe
to him... Jamie walked over to the front desk and smiled at the nurse
warily.
"Hi I was wondering which room Catie Roth is in?"
"Are you family?"
Jamie looked back at the nurse and nodded slowly.
"Room 113, go in there slowly, she might still be in the coma"
Jamie watched the nurse get up, his eyes followed her pointing.
"Thanks"
Jamie waved to the nurse and walked off heading towards Catie's room.
Jamie stopped for a second once he reached Catie's room, he gulped
once more and walked inside, he grabbed a chair and scooted over next
to Catie and felt the tears fall.
"Catie, oh my god I'm so sorry. I should of been smarter, faster, I
should of been.. it doesn't matter what I should have been, I wasn't
and now you're in this hospital bed in a coma and it is all my fault.
See the thing I never really told you in person is that I need you in
my life, really bad... you affect me and the way I act in this hugest
way, you make me who I am and in a way you are me... sometimes I
don't know where you end and I begin... it's like our lives are
intertwined with one other's and I love that about us. I love the way
you break all the rules, not caring what other people think, I love
the way you hate the way high school is this huge popularity poll...
I love the way you make me love you... you have this charisma about
you that I just love... I don't want to lose you Catie, I love you"
Jamie began to cry hard as he rested his head on Catie's hand.
"J-Jamie?"
Jamie popped his head up to see Catie staring up at him.
