Prologue: Waiting. Whacks. Wagers.

Being so close to Joker, especially a singed Joker, was not on Edward Nigma's to do list. He cringed at the smell of burnt polyester and attempted to find some breathable air in the small ante-room they'd been held in. Joker, for his part, was too busy laughing and talking to be bothered. He was babbling about some poor idiot who'd managed to get caught up in one of his schemes.

'-And she says to me, hah "Why would I need to install a pressure plate in a bomb?" HA! HAHAHA!'

THUNK.

Joker grumbled as Bolton smartly tapped him on the head. 'Quiet clown,' he snapped.

Edward retreated into anagram insults for Batman and for Bolton. Batman had been busy this last month. Many of those who had broken out of late had been swiftly scooped up and dumped back into Arkham as though this was a chore they had been through many times. Admittedly it was, but that just meant it didn't settle well in his gut all the more and judging by Joker's escalating outbursts as they waited in intake, he didn't like it either.

'Hoo did Batman get a surprise!' Joker went on with a dark laugh. 'Got him right in blast range and he still survived!' His happy little digression trailed off into indignant anger. Edward had been there and he could sympathize, but he wasn't going to sympathize with Joker.

'And why was he exactly surprised?' Edward wondered. 'He knows how you work, Joker. He knows that you would have rigged the tanker.'

'Ah, but Eddie my boy, he expected goons in the cab not a poor innocent civilian!' Joker giggled. 'Certainly not the poor innocent civilian that had helped make the bomb! Poor little twitchy Switchy.'

A civilian who made bombs? What? True Joker, completely bonkers answers and when you questioned them, you got even more insane replies but Edward would be nothing if he were not a genius and master detective himself. 'You kidnapped a bomb disposal expert?' He frowned.

'Oh no, they're so hard to find these days! After all, they're all in Iraq defending our freedom!' He cackled as though it were an exquisite joke. 'I found myself an engineer!'

An engineer? Edward blinked.

'She was a smart cookie. Give her a couple of books and Mister Hammer and boy did she get things done! Makes me almost wish I'd stayed in school.' He laughed. Edward had no doubt that Joker knew everything there ever was to know about explosives with or without an education. More than likely, he'd abducted her to create some absurd and elaborate trigger mechanism which was by far more in the realm of the engineer than bombs.

Against all probability and sense, Edward was intrigued. Satisfying Joker was a difficult endeavor and sometimes a futile one, as this engineer had found out to her cost. 'So what happened?'

Bolton made another round through intake, his eyes firmly on Joker as his giggles subsided into a sigh. 'Ah, Batman rescued her. Shame.' He brightened. 'But I did get her committed to our lovely home, so it's not all doom and gloom. A present to remember me by,' He burst into laughter again.

THUNK.

'Honestly Bolton, I think you're starting to enjoy this too much!' Joker ran a hand through his hair, feeling for lumps.

'Well, clown, if you'd be quiet I wouldn't have to make you, would I?' Bolton replied. 'Want to go for round three?' When Joker said nothing, he smirked and walked off again. The way Joker's eyes followed him made it clear that he was entertaining some gruesome thoughts.

Edward meanwhile, was still turning over the puzzle of the engineer. Still alive too after one of Joker's exploits. Promising. His last assistant had met a rather untimely end. He knew because he'd designed the deathtrap like that. He did not like assistants who couldn't keep their mouths shut. There were probably countless people who could fill the recently vacated position but she did have one key advantage over the others. He could get his hands on her almost immediately. 'So, what was her name?'

'Why so interested, Eddie?' He smirked.

Why? Because he hated associating with the stupid, the cavemen, the slow. He hated having to explain their roles in his plans again and again and answer inane questions that they had no right to ask. He hated having to take care of details and having no-one to filter his calls, especially from people who left their name on his voicemail as Sir Bumsby - he was looking at Joker for that - and above all, he hated that each and every thing tore him away from his computers and riddles. What was the point in being a rogue if he couldn't get five minutes to bask in his brilliance? He needed an assistant. Might as well start with the nearest available one. 'Curiosity.' He muttered evasively but Joker was nothing if not as good as a psychologist for finding things you had every wish not to be seen.

'Would this have anything to do with your latest minion's diappearance, Gru?' He teased.

'How many times must I tell you Joker? I called them minions once and-'

'Pfft.' Joker waved that away. 'You want to headhunt my little Switchy from team Joker?'

Team Joker? What was this, some immature game of favourites? 'What if I do?' Edward challenged.

'But she's mine!' He wailed like a five year old unaccustomed to the word "no" and promptly tried to rest his head on Edward's shoulder. 'You're mean Eddie, trying to take away my new toy like that.' He pouted.

Ugh. Edward hated dealing with Joker. 'What if we made it interesting?' Edward wondered.

'Hmm?' That got Joker's full attention. 'A wager?' He breathed and by the tone, he liked the sound of that.

'A game.' Edward replied.'And the winner will get...What was her name?'

'Ah, I forget. We used to call her Twitchy Switchy. Twitchy, switchy Dead Switch.'


A/N: Hello! My it's been a while since I did anything with Edward and poor Switch. I was scrolling through my published stories and when I got to I've Got Questions I...Cringed. Really need to redo this, so much wrong with it. So here's the prologue! At the time of writing I really should be working on The Rules but sometimes your creativity will not be diverted. Cest La Vie.

Dead Switch belongs to me, Edward Nigma is rather glad he doesn't. Stay tuned, I may continue at some point!