Attempt the Impossible (The Author Attempts to write a Girl-Joins-Weiss Story)
~isabelle
Disclaimer: Weiss and Schwarz are owned byI forgot. The fic Parody of Girl-Joins-Weiss Story is written and owned by Tish-chan. I, however, own myself and all my personalitiesaka muses. I dun own the people from Hanakimi either. *weep* I want a Umeda!
[[This is gonna be yaoi isn't it?]]
Isabelle: *looks hurt* It's a girl-join-Weiss story. Why would it be yaoi?
[[Cuz you can't write anything that's NOT yaoi.]]
Isabelle: Oh yeah? Want me to write another Filia/Xelloss fic?
[[that's Weiss Kreuz]]
Isabelle: point takenah wellon with my pathetic attempt.
[[It's gonna be YoujixAya/AyaxYouji, isn't it?]]
Isabelle: SHUT UP! YOU TRY TO WRITE THIS FIC WITHOUT ME THEN!
[[]]
~*~
It looked like a huge movie sethell, it was a movie set. Isabelle sat in the director's chair while the Weiss boys were wandering around, lazilythough Ken was trying to not stumble over equiptment. Tracy glared at him across the room for a second, then resumed glaring at Isabelle.
"How much am I getting paid for this?"
Isabelle looked surprised. "Paid? Who said—"
"SHI-NE!" That came from the obvious.
"I mean, OF COURSE ALL OF YOU ARE GETTING PAID!" Under her breath, she mumbled, "Shit"
Isabelle waved a thick set of papers around in her hand to get everyone's attention. It didn't work.
"I HAVE COFFEE AND DONUTS!!"
Everyone looked up, surprised.
Isabelle sweatdropped. "Okay, now that I've got your attentionfinally, let me tell you all what you're here for. I, for the first time in my life, am gonna attempt to write the sterotypical Girl-Joins-Weiss fic."
Omi raised his hand.
"you're not in school."
The genki assasin shrugged. "Didn't you write Kitty Hazard? Wouldn't that be a Girl-Joins-Weiss fic?"
"Kitty was FIVE."
"Still a deadly little child."
"Yeah, well, she didn't know any better. This is gonna be PURE Girl-Joins-Weiss cause I'm gonna follow the guidelines that Tish-chan set out on her fic."
Tracy cleared her throat. "Uh, does Tish-chan know you're using her parody?"
"it's all I can pray that she doesn't sue me"
""
"Anyway, Tracy is going to be the girl. Let see the requirements. She must be hot and sexy anddamn, I gotta write a thirty lined paragraph on how Aya thinks her make-up matches with her clothes and all that crap."
"What?" That was Youji in a very icy voice.
Isabelle sweatdropped. "Great. I already failed. Okay, Youji, let me make this clear for you. IT. IS. ONLY. A. PLAY. WE'RE. GONNA. PUT. ON. No one is taking your beloved Aya from you. However, Aya I do need your thoughts on make-up."
""
"Aya?"
Ken sweatdropped. "This is his thought on make-up. Takatori."
"SHI-NE!"
"That's it."
There were tears in her eyes. "But that's not gonna take up thirty lines!"
Tracy shrugged. "So shorten it. And plus, I don't wear make-up unless it's a mission that my goddess gives."
"Tracyyou have a mission."
"I'm not Heero.
"" Isabelle cleared her throat. "Okay, moving on. You need a really mystical name. Tracy doesn't cut it."
The air guardian deathglared. "I stick to my name."
"How about naming you Destiny or something like that."
"NO."
Omi peered over the requirements. "Just let her keep her own name. Everyone's gonna get confused."
"The bishounen is right," Youji commented. He was clutching his wire in the most deadly fashionhe didn't like what was going to happen in this play'.
"Okay," Isabelle flipped a page, not caring that Baliense was about to remove her head with his wire. "Hot temper and sarcastic tongue. Well, we've got the sarcastic part down fine. Now, we need a hot temper."
More glaring from Tracy's direction.
"ErI suppose the hot temper could be translated into that Now, Youji starts flirting with—"
Aya's head snapped up from the downward position it had been in. "Shi-ne," his hissed. "I will NOT allow that!"
"Aww," Isabelle teased. "So protective over your koi---OW!!" The altered ego rubbed the spot on her forehead where Aya's katana case had been thrown. "Violent too. Aya, as I said to Youji, please don't take this all too personally."
The red head relaxed half a hair.
"Alright, the next part is easy. You have to be good at the sword. You're the damn guardian of air. It was in the job description. However, the part after that isn't gonna be so easy. You must," Isabelle lowered her voice for a dramatic affect," cower with fright as you get cornered and suddenly lose all your sword skills as Aya saves you."
There was silence.
Tracy's eyebrow twitched. "I'm outta here."
"NOOOOO!! OMI! SAVE MY STORY!!"
Bombay ran to the already leaving Tracy and stood in front of her with his huge, blinking eyes. "Please? Can't you stay Tracy?" He made his most genki smile.
Tracy melted into a puddle. "Wellalright."
"Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou Omi" Isabelle prayed as Tracy sat back down. Omi skipped over to the other side of the stage where the rest of Weiss was hiding.
"Next, you all congraulate her and make her a permanent member of Weiss, YES, EVEN YOU YOUJI, blah, blah, blah. Ah, we have some girlxAyathat's a big wire, Youji."
"Yes it is."
"I'll give you my wine collection if you let me go alive."
Youji thought for a moment. "Okay."
Aya looked hurt for a second, but then Mr. Stick-up-my-ass took over. "Humph."
"Aya-kun! I didn't mean it that way! We're getting paid on this remember?"
"So something happens and Aya gets mad and Tracy yells at him for being a cold hearted bastard and that stuff."
"You're determined to make me more and more into a hypocrite, aren't you?" Tracy said. "And I. Don't. Yell."
"Well, act like you're yelling. So Aya goes and visits—"
Ken interrupted. "I thought you were just going to tell us the requirements for Tracy."
Isabelle shrugged. "It wouldn't hurt to know some of the dialogue, now would it?"
"Iguess not."
"Anyway, Aya goes and visites his sister who's still in a coma. Tracy gives herself a little speech of, to love or not to love, and follows him anyway with amazing agility and silence."
"about who I am" Tracy began.
"I KNOW, I KNOW! I know you're a realm warrior! I know you already have a boyfriend! Justplay along!"
Tracy sighed leaned back against the wall.
"So you follow Aya to the hospital wondering just what the hell he's up to when you hear the little speech Aya gives to Aya-chan. You get all guilty and stuff, like how you usually are anyway, and give yourself a little speech on how you shouldn't have been that mean to Aya and you don't know what he's been through and that crap. Tish-chan never really gave an ending, so I'll make up some sappy ending. So, everyone, you know your roles right?"
"Where am I in this plotline?" Omi demanded.
"congraulating her on a good job?"
Another sigh from the air guardian. "Really, I don't see why you just couldn't have gotten Nagi or Kitty"
"Kitty's FIVE."
"Well, she does hit twelve in the middle of the fic."
"Please no," Youji muttered. "Cute kidbad memories. Lets just start this damn thing so we can all go home and do," he paused for a minute and waggled his eyebrows at Aya, "fun things."
The redhead felt the top of his cheeks become the same color as his hair.
Isabelle pretended to not notice. "Alright, places everyone! Umeda, hit the lights!"
WHACK!
"NOT LITERALLY!!"
"Stupid little bitch, she's not paying me enough,"Umeda grumbled under his breath as he flipped the stage lights on. "Oh well, anything's better than spending time with that Akiha."
"Who's filming?"
Akiha grinned from behind the camera.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
"UhUmeda-sensei?"
