Dear Diary,

Just when you think everything is working out, the rug gets pulled out from under you. I know K is being pragmatic right now, still it hurts. At least Liam, Shane and I were able to recover was left and bring it to Lauren's old room which for the foreseeable future is now K's. Finally, my soulmate will be living with me under the same roof. The Ashcroft's will again be living in the food truck only this time it will be in our driveway while the fire department conducts their arson investigation.

The fire did more than ruin the Saturnalia festival. It ruined what was to be a wonderful new year. Tom's deposit had just arrived and suddenly the home K had lived in since we met was all hers, Molly and Lucas's. No more struggling. I doubt this business that Tom called me about involving Dagon has anything to do with the fire but a part of me believes.

Yesterday, while everyone was watching football, I was watching CNN Special 'Worst week in school history'. That first 35 minutes they spent on Taft high in Lafayette where they talked about insane Coach Delamort just snapping and bombing the school. How they discovered all these Gazan artifacts in his apartment. About how Tom and him fought valiantly after he discovered Lorelei. So much death there, it excites me and gives me headaches. Now I know why dad loves it. The search for answers and the thirst for the story. Only this is me, lying there covered in blood. Me singing hymns just like mom taught me.

I really want to believe in God like Mom does. She told me that Jesus still loves me. Karma too. She actually offered Molly and Lucas the den. They said no. She just shook her head and gave them the garage. Yeah if God loves me why is there so much pain? K loves her clothes as much as her books and most made it. I'm writing this in the Washateria because she needed to clean everything, get the smoke out. Shane and Noah are here too horsing around. He keeps asking me what's wrong. I finally showed him the scene 25 minutes into the special. He dropped his smoothie onto the floor.

K says the universe wants us together. Yet its silent as to why it had to be like this. Does Sabrina hate K that much that she would start the fire. I used to say never but after the business with Liam, the jail, the road trip, I believe yes. Sabrina's been texting apologies. She posted on my twitter. She's even came by and shouted that she broke up with Evan and is sorry.

Two months ago, I would have accepted it immediately. What not now? That image on CNN. Those of me in a cute Coupe de Monde skirt and top celebrating NCA 2006. That shining selfie with the setting sun to my back in NYC. Only it's not me. Its Lorelei. Those tell me that Dagon is real, Jesus is real, they are all real. I am special more than I ever imagined. I am also not going to accept back a liar who deliberately wounded my best friend and soul mate because she could for any reason. I'll forgive her. I'll even be nice to her. But take back? NO. No matter what happens on New Year's.

I promised Felix that kiss not her. Honestly, I want to Kiss K but I think she'll read into it and it will be waterboarding my heart all over again. We have this whole upcoming year ahead. We have senior prom, which isn't going to get hijacked by Lauren this time. Do I hate organizing this stuff? Oh yes, but if I am going to get into Clement then I need to do this.

Well the clothes are all most done so I am going to wrap this sad whine fest up and stuff myself with Shipley's. if the fire is declared arson, the insurance pays out. If it's not, Tom will have them rebuilt on site. He said it's that important. I believe him.

He also asked me what I want to do about Sabrina. I haven't answered the question because I am afraid. If I say something mean, he might have it done. Still, she can't get away with hurting K. I wish I had the guts to tell him to put Sabrina in a reverse Bear trap.

Sigh. Shane saw me write that and thought it was funny until Noah told him with was for and explained Saw. Apparently, he never saw it. Seeing the spooked look was funny.

Good night janky diary. I'm thankful you're still here. I'm thankful I have my soulmate sharing my bathroom. And maybe Sabrina will wake up in a reverse beartrap, only the key will be just out of reach. Of course Mom says I need to forgive her. That Jesus would. Maybe I will give that a try.