When I open my eyes the panic quickly sets in. My head is throbbing. Katniss! Where is she? I should have never let her out of my sight. My eyes adjust to the dark room, but I'm still unsure of where I am.
I'm definitely not in the arena.
It all happened so fast. There was no way I could have gotten to her in time. What if she's been captured?
The pain in my head intensifies. Where am I?.
"Mr. Mellark I see you are finally awake."
My heart stops when I hear his voice. This has to be a dream. I can't be here. No. I can't.
"President Snow?" It's still dark and I can't see him very well, but I know that voice. "What did you do with Katniss?!"
He laughs as I struggle to break myself loose from the rope that's restraining my hands. "Peeta, I haven't done a thing to your fiancé. She's safe, or so I assume..."
"Where am I? What happened?" I try to hide the panic in my voice but it's peaking through. I need answers that he's refusing to give me.
Suddenly, the darkness is no more. My eyes water at the bright lights that fill the tiny room. I look around the room and take in the surroundings. Everything is white. The walls, floors, even the tiny bed in the corner. Is this where I am going to be staying?
"We have a problem, Mr. Mellark," President Snow tells me. "It seems that Ms. Everdeen is involved in some sort of rebellion."
What? This can't be true. Katniss wanted to prevent a war! There is no way she would actively participate in causing one. "Now, I can't help but assume that maybe you had knowledge of this plan as well, Mr. Mellark?"
"No!" I shout back at him. "We tried - we didn't want a war!"
President Snow rubs his hands together and continues to watch me. I hate the feeling of his cold eyes on me, but I see that he's trying to determine whether or not I'm telling the truth.
"I wonder what it will take for Ms. Everdeen to see the error of her ways." President Snow seems to be speaking to thin air, not directly at me. "It surprised me how devastated Ms. Everdeen was when your heart stopped in the arena. If I didn't know any better I would have thought she was really in love with you."
"What do you want from me?" I finally ask him. Clearly, he's not going to let me go.
President Snow smiles at me. "All I want is your cooperation, Peeta."
I'm unable to answer before the lights go out and I'm left in the dark again. I hope that wherever Katniss is, that she's safe.
The water feels like knives stabbing my entire body. I can't stop shivering. The muscles in my arms feel like they are on fire. I'm not sure how long they've left me hanging here, buts it's at least been a few days.
At first, my stomach ached from hunger, but now that's finally subsided. The Peacekeepers give me sips of water, but other than that, they've fed me nothing.
It doesn't matter how many times I tell him that I don't know anything, he refuses to believe me.
"Peeta, when are you going to stop trying to protect Ms. Everdeen?"' I can hear his voice, but cannot see. Everything is pitch black as the blindfold remains tight around my eyes..
I prepare myself for the cold water, but it doesn't come. "I'm not telling you anything because I don't know anything!"
"Don't lie to me!" It's the first time he's raised his voice. "You are a valuable asset to the Capitol, Peeta."
It's then that I feel it. I've been beaten in my life more times than I can count, but this one shocks me. The force of the whip hitting my bare back takes my breath away. I scream so loudly that I'm sure it can be heard for miles.
"Now, are you going to cooperate?"
"Ye - yes!" I manage to choke out between my sobs.
It's different now. I'm sitting in a chair facing a very large, blank screen. I look around for President Snow, but he's not here.
I don't know how long I've been here, but it feels like a lifetime. I hope that Katniss is okay. She needs to be okay.
"Mr. Mellark how are you feeling?" That cold voice is back again. I'm not sure what they have planned for me, but it can't be any worse than what they've already done.
The Capitol wants to break me. They want me to give them information that I have no knowledge of. It doesn't matter how many times they beat me. I will never let them hurt Katniss.
"You seem unaffected by the beatings." President Snow tells me with a suspicious look. I'm surprised he isn't aware of my upbringing and how my mother beat me almost everyday of my life. I can handle being hit. Pain is just a temporary feeling.
"We've been doing some experiments and you seem like the perfect candidate for our human trials." President Snow never comes close, but I see men in white outfits filling the room. "I'll be leaving you for now, but we will be seeing one another soon."
I don't take my eyes off President Snow as he exits the room. As soon as he leaves, the strange men strap me to the chair and stick different needles in my arm.
The blank screen suddenly turns on and Katniss's face appears. It's our first games. "What's going on?" I ask the nameless faces, but they don't answer me.
I feel it start slowly, but I don't understand what's going on. A feeling of unknown fear starts to creep up inside me.
"Do you remember this moment, Peeta?" An unfamiliar female voice asks me.
She's kissing me. Katniss is kissing me as I'm bleeding to death. She cares about me. "It's the games - the cave..."
"Katniss was pretending. She doesn't care about you, Peeta." The voice is lying. Katniss and I grew close on the Victory Tour. She tried to save us.
I close my eyes but her voice is still in my head. Katniss would never want to hurt me. We protect each other.
Why would she try to kill me? It doesn't make any sense, but I'm watching her drop the nest on the Careers. Katniss knew I was down there, but she wouldn't hurt me. Would she?
"Peeta, you know Katniss can't be trusted." I shake my head. No. They are lying! "She knows you are here Peeta and has made no effort to rescue you."
I blink away the tears in my eyes. They need to stop lying to me. Everyone needs to stop lying to me.
"Have you forgotten about the baby, Peeta?"
I swear my heart stops beating. Baby? Was there a baby? I remember telling Ceasar but - I don't remember if it was true.
"Katniss is selfish. She never considered your feelings."
Why are they doing this? I don't understand what's going on anymore.
Exhaustion eventually takes over and I can't keep my eyes open any longer.
When I see her face I feel differently. She's lied to me so much. She killed our baby. She tried to kill me!
"You see Peeta - we want to help you." President Snow is speaking now.
"How can you help me?" I spit back at him. "I have nothing."
There is nothing anyone can do for me. The only person I thought could be trusted has done nothing but lie to me over and over again.
I hate her.
I fucking hate her for pretending to love me.
"I need you to do something for me, Peeta." I'm too tired to disagree. If they need me, then I'll do what needs to be done.
"What is it?"
President Snow gives me a smile. "You'll see but it shouldn't be a challenge. I will make sure you will feel right at home."
The scream I hear can't possibly be my own, but it is. I see my blood smear on the clean white tile. I don't know why I warned them about the bombing. I shouldn't have said anything, but the idea of Katniss not making it terrified me. Why do I even care? Katniss is the enemy. She can't be trusted!
Their fists leave bruises I'm sure will never heal.
Eventually they stop and throw me in my cell. I don't know how long I cry, but my voice is hoarse when I stop. This is all her fault. She needs to stop fighting. I'm the one who is suffering.
"Peeta, are you alright?" Johanna's voice comforts me in a way I can't really explain. She's not the nicest person, but she's here when the rest of them fucking abandoned me.
"I'm tired. Leave me alone."
I need to kill her. She's a threat. She's dangerous.
Katniss Everdeen is a liar.
Katniss Everdeen tried to kill me.
She killed our baby.
I watch the same footage over and over again. All that kissing seems so forced. She acted as if I was some kind of burden to her. Maybe that's why she wanted me dead.
Watching her makes me ill. There's nothing about her that's special. I don't know why I wasted my time. I lost my leg because of her.
I'm here because Katniss Everdeen can't be trusted. She cares about herself and that's it.
I was nothing to her.
I am nothing.
Kill her. Kill her. Kill her.
The mantra replays in my head over and over again. She's a mutt. She needs to be taken care of.
If I ever get out of here - Katniss Everdeen will pay for what she's done.
I will wrap my hands around her throat and watch as the life leaves her eyes.
The needle in my arm delivers the medicine that President Snow says will make me better.
I see her face before she kisses me in the cave. How could I have been so blind?
Katniss Everdeen manipulated me. She made me believe that we were going to be married, but it was all an act.
It was always an act.
She used me.
I'm weak to her.
I was nothing but a means to an end.
Katniss Everdeen will pay for what she's done. I'll make sure of it.
Sometimes when I'm sleeping, my mind will drift to thoughts of Katniss. I can hear her voice. She's singing.
It's the most beautiful sound in the entire world.
I don't hate her.
How could I hate her?
She's my friend.
She's my partner.
She's my everything.
In my dreams Katniss is the person I always thought she was. She's good and kind.
I'm so confused.
I wish that everyone would stop lying to me.
Mutt.
She's a stinking mutt.
I have to be the one to kill her.
She's done so much to ruin my life, that I need to be the one who takes hers.
Katniss doesn't deserve to live. She's hurt too many people.
I hear yelling. It sounds like people are fighting. My cell door flies open and I see him standing in front of me. Gale.
"Peeta it's me - it's Gale I'm here to take you home."
Home? I'm going home.
"Gale? Is that really you?" How long has it been? Why are they just now coming for me?
"We have to go, Peeta. There isn't much time." He pulls me up off the ground and leads me out of the cell.
I'm really going home.
The hospital room is buzzing with activity. Dozens of people surround me. They keep asking me questions and I can't find it in me to answer.
Everything is happening so fast.
Then I see her.
She's running toward me.
She's going to kill me.
They told me this would happen.
I will kill her first.
I jump up off the bed and make my way toward her.
My hands wrap around her throat and every feeling of hate comes out of me. This girl was responsible for so much pain and she needs to die. I hate her for what she made me feel and how she used me for her own personal gain. I was nothing to her. My grip on her neck tightens when I stare into her eyes and see her for then mutt that she is. I will make sure that she can't hurt anyone else.
Then all I see is darkness.
