This was a story I made up on the spot to go with a picture for a contest on DeviantArt. It's been so long since I've posted anything on here. I should really write more.

"Shepard," came a electronic voice "Shepard, Joker would like to see you,"

Kali Shepard rolled over and groaned as the ship's AI, EDI, repeated her message. Kali opened her eyes and looked at the clock on her bedside table. It read 5:32:04AM Galactic Time. Kali groaned again, she had overslept. As she rolled to get out of bed, a muscular arm wrapped itself around her waist.

"Where do the bloody hell you think you're going, woman?" came a gruff voice.

"Shepard has been requested to meet with Joker in the Cargo Bay," EDI replied before Kali could say anything.

The gruff voice grunted "You better get back here in five minutes, woman,"

"And why's that, might I ask?" Kali asked as the warm arm slipped away from her waist.

"You know why," came the matter-of-fact reply.

Kali rolled her eyes and went to get dressed. She quickly brushed her teeth and teased her curly hair into place. Before she left, Kali stopped at the top of the stairs and glanced down at the naked form of the muscular man in her bed. She smiled as he rolled over in his sleep, taking all of the covers. "What a cover hog," A soft snore from the direction of her bed came as a reply.

She boarded the elevator and took it down to the cargo bay. Kali blinked as the doors opened to reveal the brightly lit room.

"Joker," Kali called as she walked out into the center of the bay "Joker, you better have a good reason as to why you made me get out of bed and see your ass…" Kali stopped and stared at what she saw as Joker came out from behind a crate.

"Hey Shepard," Joker greeted her, smiling from ear to ear. He sat in what appeared to be a wheelchair with the tracks of a tank "What do you think?"

"Uh... What is that?" Being that she was tired from the night's endeavours with her personal bed warmer, Kali could only stare in confusion.

"Uh, it's an all terrain wheelchair, custom fitted to meet my exact requirements," Joker said smugly "She's outfitted with the standard equipment that you carry as well as a few extra components," He played with the controller and pivoted the wheelchair to show her the sniper rifle, shotgun and assault rifle attached to the back of the chair.

"Extra components?" Kali rubbed her temples and squeezed her eyes tight. Hopefully this isn't what she thought it was.

Joker came full circle and pointed underneath his seat "You can't really see it but this baby has hovercraft capabilities," He seemed to be really proud of the small assault vehicle he was sitting on.

"And what does all this mean,"

"Well, the Illusive Man thought I should become a more productive member of the team," Joker was absolutely beaming.

"Wait, what?" Kali's expression was one of utter confusion.

"I'm going to be going on missions with you, duh," Joker thought that the conclusion was obvious.

"Dear Lord, I need coffee," Kali rubbed her temples even harder.

"I can have Sergeant Gardner prepare that for you, Shepard," EDI flickered into her usual spot in the cargo bay.

"Great... Uh, Joker?"

"Yes, Commander?" Joker peered happily at her.

"What was the other enhancement?" Kali leaned against the wall.

"Leather seats," Joker said matter-of-factly.