Disclaimer: I don't own Dead Poets Society. Or Tina, for that matter. But I might have Charlie's blue polo shirt tucked away somewhere… still on Charlie…
A/N: I feel it's fair to warn you that if you're not into Chameron or threesomes, particularly the somewhat disturbing kind, I'd suggest you stop reading now. This is dedicated to CorkyConlon because I couldn't write about Chameron and not dedicate it to her. Without her, I wouldn't have any of my wacky ideas or the drive to actually write them. Thanks Cam! I love you and our crazy conversations. :) I don't think this is the best thing I've ever written but I did have fun writing it so I hope you have fun reading it. Reviews are always appreciated!
Tina arrives at Welton with a spring in her step. The last few times she'd made the trek out to the cave- and there had been many, many previous trips made- she had been disappointed to find it empty but this time she was absolutely, positively certain that this would be her lucky day. She could just feel it. Her Charlie senses were tingling.
Oh, Charlie. A silly grin spreads out across her face at the mere thought of him. She was also absolutely, positively certain that one day, Charlie was going to love her just as much as she loved him and that they were going to escape to someplace in Europe and have scads of sandy haired children all named after their father- Charlie Jr., Charlie III, Charlie IV, Charlotte and so on and so forth. It was going to be perfect.
Never mind the fact that Charlie just didn't realize it yet. But he would soon. Very soon.
She can smell the woodsy scent of a burning fire as she approaches the mouth of the cave and her heart begins to pound with excitement as she picks up on faint scuffling sounds coming from inside. Tina stops for just a moment to fluff her hair and smooth out her dress before climbing inside.
At first, she doesn't quite understand the sight that greets her. All she can see is Charlie- who just so happens to be naked- and brilliant ginger hair before she focuses her gaze. And once she does, she immediately regrets it.
"OH GOD!" she gasps as she takes a stumbling step backward, bringing her hand up to shield her eyes. It doesn't do much because the images are already ingrained in her memory- like, permanently ingrained- and if there is one thing she doesn't want to remember, it's the sight of Charlie- her Charlie!- on his knees doing the most unmentionable things to the ginger boy who has his hand tangled tightly into Charlie's hair. His perfect hair!
Ginger boy snaps his eyes open at the sound of Tina's voice and his face turns nearly the same color as his hair. "OH GOD!" he repeats, roughly shoving Charlie off of him. Tina worries about him for a fraction of a second- because that rock that his tailbone just slammed into looks really, really sharp- before she remembers what it is exactly that he was doing and then her concern vanishes immediately.
"Jesus, Cameron," Charlie hisses as he stands up, rubbing the sore spot on his lower back. When he catches sight of Tina, still standing at the mouth of the cave with her hands clasped over her eyes, a smirk slowly spreads across his face. "Well, hello doll," he drawls, eliciting a disgruntled huff from Cameron who's currently scampering around to find his clothes.
Tina slowly lowers her hands just a little, peeking over the tips of her fingers, and the smirk on Charlie's face makes her giggle. How could she have ever been mad at him? Surely this just had to be one bit misunderstanding. "Hi, Charlie."
"Who are you, again?"
Oh, right. That's how she could have been mad. She mimics Cameron's huff and lowers her hands, placing them on her hips instead. "Tina!"
Charlie stares at her blankly for a moment, wracking his brain to remember her. "Tina, Tina, Tina…" He snaps his fingers in recognition when it finally dawns on him. "Tinnnna! I knew that." He leans back against a rock and stretches out comfortably, completely ignoring the fact that he's just standing there naked because really, who was going to mind?
Cameron wheels around, pants half pulled up, and shoots a glare at Tina. "You're not supposed to be here," he snaps.
"I came to see Charlie!" she snaps back, crossing her arms indignantly. How dare he try to keep her away from Charlie.
They both turn around to glare at Charlie who holds up his hands in mock defense. "Hey. I had nothing to do with this." He glances between Tina and Cameron and smirks smugly, basking in the adoration. "But there's no reason we can't… enjoy it."
"Meaning what, Dalton?" Cameron seethes, though he knows full well what's about to come out of Charlie's mouth. And he doesn't like it. Not one bit. How dare she try to come between him and Charlie. It had taken him months to finally, finally, catch Charlie's attention and there was no way some skanky little hussy wearing too much makeup and cheap perfume was going to ruin that. Hell no.
"What I mean, Dick, is that she could join us," he responds casually, like he's simply commenting on the weather rather than suggesting one very twisted threesome.
"NO!"
"OKAY!"
Horrified at her own answer, Tina gasps and covers her mouth as her cheeks flush a deep red. Had she really just agreed to that? She wants to take it back as quickly as she'd spit it out but then Charlie looks at her and grins and her mind starts to run rampant with naughty ideas and thoughts of Europe and sandy haired babies and she can't say much of anything at all. She might not be able to stomach the thought very well but she certainly isn't going to deny Charlie anything. "I'll do it."
Cameron just stands there, fuming, shooting daggers at Tina with his eyes. "Well I won't."
"You will," Charlie responds without even having to look at him because if there's one thing he knows how to do, it's persuade.
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Charlie."
"Dick…"
Cameron utters an exasperated groan and throws his hands up in the air in surrender. Why did he ever even bother? He never could deny Charlie anything- hence their frequent rendezvous in the cave. "Whatever," he grumbles; tugging off his pants and tossing them back down onto the pile of clothes that acts as their cushion from the stony ground.
He plops down on it and crosses his arms, pouting petulantly as he watches Charlie wrap his arms around Tina, making her giggle as he leans in to whisper in her ear. Cameron can make out a little of what he's saying- naughty French, mostly- and he rolls his eyes at how oblivious she really is.
"You're so romantic," she coos affectionately.
"Viens ici que je te sauté," Charlie replies as he helps her out of her dress and shoots a wink in Cameron's direction, knowing exactly what kind of effect that statement had on him from the numerous times he's used it to get him into bed. Cameron has to fold his hands over his lap to cover said effect up.
Tina once again just giggles. "What does that even mean?"
"Mm, nothing really. Just telling you how beautiful you are."
"Oh, Charlie!"
Cameron nearly bites off his own tongue trying to hold back his laughter.
Blinding feelings of jealousy set aside, he actually found the whole thing pretty humorous because for every seductive saying that rolls off of Charlie's tongue, it comes with a look that's cast in his direction and despite the girl that's wrapped in his arms and has her lips on his and is underneath him in a matter of minutes, Cameron knows he's the one who matters here.
Not that Charlie would ever admit that, of course, and he certainly does a damn good job of covering it up when he more or less leaves Cameron out in the cold but Cameron can tell. He's always been able to.
And the fact that Tina can't amuses him to no end. Almost to the point where he doesn't mind having to sit off to the side and watch his roommate/lover/enemy fuck some random girl while he gets stuck with one pretty half-assed hand job. Almost.
Just like Tina can almost ignore Charlie's… friend who just sits there and stares at her the entire time- eyes narrowed and lips pulled down into a frown. She knows he's just jealous and she makes sure to make a show out of screaming out Charlie's name- nearly laughing out loud when Cameron's eye begins to twitch with rage. It serves him right, really, because Charlie can spend as much time with him in the cave as he'd like but it still doesn't change the fact that she loves him and he's going to love her one day.
And even though Charlie practically shoves her out of the cave the moment she's dressed and she kind of feels sick about everything that just happened and she can hear him whispering tenderly to the ginger boy, Tina still leaves Welton with a spring in her step.
A/N 2: The clean version of the French roughly translates to: come here, I want to jump you. I'm sure you can figure out the naughty version all on your own...
