Search for a Soul
Chapter 1
"Utopia is just a dream"
By MEGAMANX411

Disclaimer: This fan fiction chronicles Mega Man X, and others characters within the Mega Man X universe. Please note that I do not have ownership over any one of the Mega Man series, or any of the characters included within them. This particular fan fiction does not fit at any particular time during the Mega Man X series, although it does come into play around Mega Man X5, technically speaking, because Alia will have a part of it. So, without further ado, I present to you "Search for a Soul."


Mega Man X was running. He was running towards Maverick Hunter HQ. He needed to report back there often, seeing as he was one of the most renowned Maverick Hunters around. Although it seemed ludicrous, he found some form of relief when he ran. It brought him a feeling of purpose. He was going somewhere, he had a destination. Even though he could easily use his teleporation ability, he was a bit more fond of this method. That was something he did almost ritualistically after each mission he completed. It was sort of symbolic of his desire for a purpose in life. Mega Man X had often wondered just why he was created, and especially why he was given weapons. Weapons...something that he detested. Why was it he was built as a machine for war? X hated that thought. He was no better than any bomb. What were Dr. Light's intentions for him? Even though X was created with the ability to make his own decisions, he had made the obvious assumption of thinking that Dr. Light must've had some reason for creating a being such as X. Was it merely a feat to show off his abilities as a master engineer of robotics? Was X merely some sort of science fair prize?

Such were the questions that ran through his mind. He felt as though whenever he came somewhat close to answering but one of those mind-numbing queries, a hundred more popped up. It was endless, like his struggle against the Mavericks. Mega Man X then came to a stop as he arrived at HQ. He sighed, and walked in. Signas was waiting for him there. X held nothing against Signas. He couldn't, after all. Signas supported X, and to be fair, he was doing a fantastic job of operating Maverick Hunter HQ. It was just that whenever X was assigned a mission, he felt awful instead of noble. Wasn't fighting for a noble cause supposed to give one a sense of exhiliration?

"Hello X," he began, giving X a respectful nod.

X returned the sentiment.

"Hello Signas," he replied, his voice filled with many feelings, including kindess, mild sadness, and masked enthusiasm.

"We currently have no assignments at this point in time, but we recommend that you remain nearby in case of emergencies," Signas explained.

X nodded his head. His eyes were a bit glassy, and almost seemed to hold back tears. The funny thing was that X had no idea why he felt so depressed. He couldn't place it, it was just like an immense wave of feeling that was being held back.

"As always..." he muttered. "I'll be ready and waiting."

With that, X walked off, trying to find some way to pass the time, and to get his mind off of the questions that plagued him. He came to a window, and stopped. For some reason he couldn't hope to explain, he was drawn to the image he saw just outside. It was a field, full of green grass, and both humans and reploids apparently sharing their time together happily. X shook his head, to discover that his was merely a daydream of his, and the image outside projected nothing of the sort. Still, he longed for such a sight to become reality.

"Is utopia really just a dream...?" he muttered, his eyes drifting away.

X lazily looked off into space, his mind racing with thought. He desired tranquility above all else, and simply wished that he could help create a society without war, without killing, without...well, the bad things. It was incredibly naive to say something of that sort, but in all fairness, that was exactly what X wanted. No more suffering, no more pain. A world where everyone could live together happily. Such was his dream. One thing that X wondered about was becoming a Maverick Hunter. Although it was technically his choice, he had really considered himself to be forced into that position. After all, if he hadn't, Sigma would've destroyed everything. Without a doubt. And if X hadn't fought, if he hadn't used his powers, he would've been deemed an incompetent, uncaring, foolish coward who cares more for himself than others. And choosing to fight makes him a murderous, bloodthirsty monster.

Both choices were negative, and it was a decision X would always regret. If Dr. Light had indeed intended for him to live peacefully, why did he give X the ability to fight? Why did he bestow weapons of war upon X? Or, on the other hand, if he wanted X to be a defender of justice, why did he give him free will? Surely if one had destiny, there was no need for the ability of choice. If you are born into a predetermined existence, then what impact does the ability to choose have? X had often wondered if his so-called "innovation" was more of a curse than a blessing. After all, his emotions had brought him more misery than happiness and more crying than laughter. X looked down at his hands, and was shocked at what he saw.

His hands were coated in blood. The stench of it assaulted his nose. Rock Xavier Light teared from the horrific sight, watching as his hands shook with fear. He quickly closed his eyes and shook his head to remove the image from his sight. It was just another daydream. Of course, dreams (or even daydreams, X assumed) were considered to be symbolic in nautre. Perhaps this was merely a reflection of X's own guilt. A reflection of his own bloodstained past. X sighed deeply, and turned his head to see an incoming figure.