"I think you should apologize to him?"
"Why?"
"Because he's my brother and you threw a drink on his head"
"Yes but my reasons were good enough and besides I could have punched him in the face?"
Yep that was about the 50 millionth time I had gone through that conversation in my head, It was last Saturday (and I had been really drunk) the week before the conversation I had poured a drink over his brothers head and I was being guilt tripped, it all happened 6 Days before I left for Canada and 4 years and a month since I met the guy that changed my life (for the worse). His brother was right to stick up for him and I said so! What I did next I will never get over, I actually apologized to HIM for what I did.
My name is Isabella Swan (but Bella to everyone who doesn't want to eat through a straw) I'm 21 and the only guy I have ever considered to be worth my time had done nothing but been awful to me for the entire time I'd known him. I remember that day o so well, I was 17, innocent and naive, never had alcohol before in my life. I was so lost trying to find my friend (Steves) house party it was down the back of beyond in the town of Spalding, England (You've probably never heard of it?) when I knocked on the door thats when HE answered it, Steve had gone to the shops to get more drink. I already knew his face off of Myspace. HE was so friendly and really sweet and I enjoyed his company. HE poured me my first alcoholic drink and that is the last thing I remember doing Sober. But I was happy I felt content this guy was paying me attention...
Anyway fast forward four years and that is probably the only happy memory I have of HIM, it's been heartbreak and my constant optimism that he still wants to at least be my friend. Anyone else would have turned there back on HIM after all the shouting at me and two-facedness, but I couldn't something stopped me from moving on, last Saturday however changed it all when Steve knocked some sense into me about how HE has treat me, spoke about me and used my as the attention gave him a 'confidence boost.' So I walked up to the bar threw a pint of Jack Daniels and coke on his head, turned around and walked out of his life into my Red Vauxhall Corsa where I hoped to forget about him, all hopes of never seeing him again were dashed when I ran into his Brother who insisted I apologized and being the push over I am, did.
I sat in my room as I had many times before with an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach with the what now felt like normal feeling of self loathing. I had once again made a fool out of myself in front of everyone. I was staring at my passport and plane tickets and decided this trip was the cure or kill.
