Forgive me for Whatever I Do

It was a dark, cold night in the Candy Kingdom's graveyard. Princess Bubblegum and Marceline, the Vampire Queen, sat against one of the crypts under a large, pink blanket, staring up at the stars and sharing stories.

"So I'm standing there, with this dude's head in my hands, and he still says he's gonna kick my butt!" Marceline finished, with a broad grin on her face.

Bubblegum laughed. "Oh Marceline. That's why I love you, but it's also why we stopped inviting you to the Royal Courts."

"Well it's not like I'd pull this junk there!" Marceline said defensively.

"You punched the Duke of Nuts in the face right while he was talking!" Bubblegum reminded her with a smirk.

"He insulted you!"

Bubblegum sighed. She wrapped her arms around Marceline and rested her head on her shoulder as she continued talking.

In the distance, a man lurked behind a bush. He had pale, grey skin, pointed ears and three wisps of white hair, hanging over his face and his shoulders. Marceline's ex-boyfriend, Ash fumed silently. He had conjured a circle of light in front of him, through which he could see and hear the two girls as if they were right next to him.

"Who are you kidding, babe?" Ash hissed under his breath. "You know you need me!"

A few minutes later, Bubblegum's eyelids began to droop. She slowly lay down on Marceline's lap and fell asleep. Marceline smiled. She pulled the blanket off herself and wrapped it around the princess, and began stroking her soft, pink hair.

On the other side of his magic window, Ash looked ready to explode. He clutched his flower-shaped wand so hard, he snapped it in half. He repaired it with a wiggle of his fingers, without taking his eyes of Marceline.

Eventually, Marceline stood up, carefully picking Bubblegum up as she did, taking care not to wake her, and flew into the air and towards the Candy Kingdom.

"Just you wait, Marceline… I'll make you see…" Ash scowled, as Marceline flew out of sight.


In the towering mountain at the heart of the Ice Kingdom, the Ice King sat across his table from Gunter. A chess set made of ice sat between them. With sweat pouring down his brow, the Ice King slowly moved his queen, which was shaped like Princess Bubblegum. As soon as he withdrew his hand, Gunter quacked triumphantly. He hopped around the board, and moved his Finn-shaped bishop with his beak.

The Ice King stared at the board in disbelief, and then looked at Gunter. After a shifty glance left and right, he smiled and patted Gunter on the head.

"Silly penguin!" He said, loudly. "That piece can't move like that! Let me just…"

He reached out for Gunter's bishop, but Gunter quacked and pecked his hand angrily, forcing the Ice King to withdraw.

"Alright fine! You win!" The Ice King admitted, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms.

Gunter quacked happily. He hopped off the table and waddled away, leaving the Ice King to sulk.

A few minutes later, there was a hesitant knock on the house's empty doorway and Ash walked in. The Ice King looked over and his eyes lit up.

"Hey! It's my pal Ash!" He declared, standing up. "You here for game night? My BFs forgot again, boy are they gonna feel silly…" He said, walking over to one of his cupboards.

Ash seemed taken aback. He had only met the Ice King once, and didn't even know his name. "What? Dude, no. I need to talk to you about something."

"You sure? I got Ice Kingdom Monopoly!" The Ice King said, holding up a cardboard box, with a grinning picture of himself on the front. "Oh, but I got dibs on the racecar…"

Ash strode forwards angrily and smacked the box out of the Ice King's hands. "Dude! Focus!"

"Ok, fine. You can be the racecar! Geez!"

Ash seized the front of the Ice King's gown. "You need to get control of your woman!" He cried, getting straight to the point.

"Say what…?" The Ice King asked, with a blank expression.

"When we met in Wizard City, that one time…" Ash reminded him, letting go of his gown, "…You said that Bubblegum was yours. But she's been messing around with my girl, Marceline!"

"Marceline?" Asked the Ice King, confused. "That's my home girl! She knows I got dibs on the Princess!"

"Really?" Ash said.

He pointed his wand at his own head and drew out a bubble, containing his memory of Bubblegum and Marceline in the graveyard.

"WHAAAAT?" The Ice King roared, as he watched Marceline stroke the sleeping Princess' hair. He pushed up his sleeves and marched towards the door. "I'll give that girl a piece of my mind…" He muttered.

Ash grabbed the Ice King's wrist and pulled him back.

"Marceline? No way, dude! I came here because I need you to go deal with the Princess! I'll talk to Marceline! You need to go tell Bubblegum to start seeing you instead of her!"

"Bro, I've been barkin' up that tree for years…" The Ice King said, sadly.

Ash rolled his eyes as he suddenly realized what relationship the Ice King had with Princess Bubblegum. "Ok fine, you talk to Marceline and get her to keep away from the Princess, but for GLOB'S sake, don't tell her you saw me, ok?"

"Right!" The Ice King said, clenching his fist in determination.

The two wizards left the house, took to the air, and flew off in different directions.